New here (but not new to "loss")

BabyLimaBean · #1 (**permalink**) 07-19-2008, 08:29 PM

Hi ladies.
I'm Mary, I was at DIF09.
Last July 1st, I had my (officially) first prenatal appointment and I found out that my little bean has stopped developing at 7w2d and no heartbeat was found - I was supposed to be a little over 8w by then.

My doctor was on vacation that week, so I decided to wait for her so she can check me again (as a 2nd opinion, and I'm hoping that there'll be a miracle and that when she does an ultrasound we'll find the heartbeat). But unfortunately, no miracle happened, and she confirmed the loss. I opted to take the pill instead of the d&c, I came home with the misoprostol, took it that night and at 4AM it happened.

I thought I was doing fine and was holding up good. I said it wasn't as painful as when we lost our first child @ 39w4d last August2007. I didn't even cry when I expelled the pregnancy, I didn't cry when I found out.

Last night, I was talking to my sister, and she told me that their pet dog/puppy is not doing so well. It's been sick for 4 days now, and it's been confined at the Vet/Animal hospital for 3 days. So, she said, the vet doesn't know what the puppy has, since his is the first time they encountered such illness. (They live in a small city, 2 hours away from the big city with better vet. They only have 1 vet clinic/animal hospital.) The vet is asking what they would like to do. So looks like they will have put the four month old puppy to sleep. Even though I live far and I haven't seen/met the puppy, I felt connection to it, because I was talking to my sister while they were being born. By that time in that conversation, the floodgates opened, and I just cried. It was too much for me to take. One loss after another.

It's just too much right now ( I know I already said that ). I'm just sitting here in the backyard, trying not to think about the things that have happened and are happening with us. I know things will be okay again, but when is that, I don't know yet. All I can do right now is pray.

BabyLimaBean · #2 (**permalink**) 07-19-2008, 08:40 PM

Oh I forgot to add, my OB said we could start TTC in two months (instead of 3 months that she initially recommended). But I don't know yet. Right now, I just want to feel better and for the bleeding/spotting (sorry tmi) and slight cramping to stop.

BUT, we will definitely try again.

-mary

combs333 · #3 (**permalink**) 07-23-2008, 07:14 AM

Hi, Mary. My name is Leigh Ann and I had a m/c in July too. My heart goes out to you and your DH. It makes no sense why you must go through so much. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. I also had a m/c a few years ago before I had any children. It was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. This time I thought I was ok, but a few days later it just hit me. I am feeling better now that the bleeding stopped and I can look to the future. I think crying is good. It helps us to cope. Just let it out. I wish you peace and healing over the next weeks and hope that when you are ready to try again, it ends in happiness. God knows you deserve it. *hugs and prayers*

rshaver · #4 (**permalink**) 07-29-2008, 05:40 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, and my story is much the same. But we're here for support in a way that's somehow more comforting than we get anywhere else. You're in my thoughts and prayers.