i am tired of living down here... i miss my job, i miss my friends, i miss my family (well, some of them anyway)... i hate being stuck at home all day with no car, i hate feeling so isolated and depressed, and i wish i had someone, anyone, here who understood how i feel.

I WANNA GO HOME! if we had another car i would be on the road right now... even just a few weeks in Ontario would give me my fix, i could come back down here then and be okay. don't get me wrong - i am glad to stay at home with Josh - i just feel very very isolated right now. there is no one in our neighbourhood with kids, none of our friends have kids (yet). i am lonely for adult conversation in the worst way, and i am so tired of not knowing where anything is or what stupid american terms are for what. (yeah you'd think they all talk the way we do, but not so... what the heck does "quarter of nine" mean??? how the heck am i supposed to know it means quarter to???)

oh man... i feel so miserable - i just need a dose of home. my family is going through all kinds of stuff and i'm not there... my birthfather turns 50 in a week and the party is this weekend but i can't go... my aunt is being treated for pancreatic cancer, and i would love to take Josh to see her, i know he would just bring sunshine to her day, but i can't do that either.

on the flip side, i do know that this is where we are supposed to be - my dh is so happy and fulfilled in his job, and he spent the last 3 years being miserable while i was happy and fulfilled in my job. i don't begrudge him his happiness... i just want some of my own, kwim?

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Oh Krista

I kinda know what you're going through ... minus having a small child ...
I felt the exact same way when we moved to Alberta from Newfoundland (even though we were still in Canada it was sooo hard) ... but it did get better .. took me about 1 yr to 1.5 yrs to really adjust .. to the point where I could say I was happy .. Moving away from your home .. friends and family is never easy but I think at our age it's even harder .. ...There were many days I felt like you .. if I had a way out of Alberta I'd be gone in a flash ... but now I'm so glad we stayed .. the economy here is so good and now that we have our lil' lad .. opportunities are better out here for him ...ya I still dearly miss my family .. my friends and my life back home in general ... but right now this is our home ... just keep the faith girl that it's all for the better .. I often say I'm moving home before Connor starts school full time but then when I snap back to reality there's no economy to raise him .. give those lil' extras .. to spoil him .. So now we see our family once a yr. (twice a yr. if we're really lucky) ..talk everyday on the phone and snap countless pics .. it hurts that I was'nt there to see my Nanny and my brother just before they died but they're always always in my heart and my memory ...

I hope I did'nt make you feel worse just wanted to let you know I know how you feel and you'll see it'll get better ... now I really feel homesick .. off to call my Momma

I couldn't imagine living away from my family, espicially going thru the year I just had. That being said, there are days where I crave adult conversation, too. I think it's normal to feel that way, especially since your American friends have no kids and probably work outside the home. Although I have family and friends around, I am the only SAHM (my friends with kids work FT).

I'm sorry that you feel homesick. I hope that you have some better days ahead.

PS: It drives me crazy when my American SIL says "quarter of" instead of "quarter to". We all know that we speak correctly, eh?

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Marisa
mom to Alex (Sept 2002) and Samantha (Jan 2005)

how pathetic am i, really now!! i think the worst part is that when i talk to my mother, all i hear is "i miss you, i wish i could hold Joshua, i miss him so much"... it's a never ending litany of complaints every stinking time. i am tired of hearing it from her - it's like she thinks if she complains enough and focuses solely on her feelings (which is what she's done my entire life), i'll give up and come running home. noooo way, not for that kind of crap! i can honestly say i miss most people in my family but i do not miss my mother all that much. that's an awful thing to say.

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Krista I can't really imagine what you're going through. My mom is not in the same city as I am but really we can be there pretty quickly if need be.

I don't think you're being whiny or selfish or anything, just lonely. I hope you get to go home soon.

I totally would have though 'quarter of' was quarter after.

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is there anyway you could join and mom's group and have someone pick you up to go once a week or something??

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Maggie, i'm actually joining a MOPS group that meets at a church close to our house - having the car isn't an issue, i will just drop dh off at work and take the car for the day. i am really excited about that and i know it will help dispel the loneliness/isolation i've been struggling so much with.

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Aw Krista, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I almost went mad of homesickness when DH and I moved to the Toronto area just after we got married, thats um, only about 3.5 hours from home. Really the first year was the worst, then I got really comfortable where we were and I felt a lot better. Another year later, when I found out we were moving back to our hometown, I was actually a little disappointed, though I know this is the place we are better off. I don't think you are being pathetic at all, just human.

It's good that Brian is enjoying his work so much. I'm sure that once you start getting into a mommy group or two, you'll feel less isolated. I sure hope so anyway. Will you be making the big trip North for Christmas?