Ok here's my situation. DH and I got into a lot of debt when we were first married. So much to the point where we had to move in with family to be able to pay all of our bills. Well we did that for a year and now we're out on our own again. But to be out on our own I have to work. I hate working, always have. But especially now where we have a 7 month old daughter. I have to work a graveyard shift and it's so incredibly hard. My job is fine but the hours are horrible! I have almost zero energy for my daughter during the day. Well dh is out of school for the semester and he doesn't plan on going back for awhile. Like a year or more. (He's so sick of school). So he's looking for another part time job right now. We've been wanting to move by the end of June because we're tired of where we're at so his part time job would help cover all of our moving costs. So here are my questions. I am 99% sick of working. Is it selfish for me to not want to work anymore and stay home? If DH finds a second job we'd still be able to cover our bills so I could stay home but we wouldn't have money to move and we REALLY need to get out of here. Plus, when he goes back to school, whenever that will be, I may have to go back to work. I don't want to go back to work, ever! Is this so horrible of me? I want him to finish his schooling but he might not go back for a few years. It's going to take almost 5 for us to get out of debt! I know, it's horrible. But we've cut up all of our credit cards and we're getting rid of a lot of things holding us down. I feel like it's horrible. We want me to be able to stay at home permanently but with everything else going on do you think it's a good idea? I know ultimately we will pray about it and figure it out, but in the mean time what do you guys think? I'm so worried about it all. Am I making any sense?

You are making sense, and you're in a really tough spot to be in. You already said what I was going to say, and that's to pray about it. I know the Lord will guide you in the direction you need to go.

With that said, I feel your pain. I've always hated working, too. I was so glad to quit my job when dd was born. however, if you really, really need to move and the only way to do it is for you to keep your job, then I'd say keep it for just a little while longer. Maybe after you move a new opportunity will come up and you'll be able to quit. One thing I would highly suggest is don't quit before your dh has a 2nd job because you'll probably be digging your hole deeper that way.

It's good that you've already taken the steps to start getting out of debt. Just make sure you have a budget and that you stick to it. I got into a lot of debt before I got married, and it was so hard to get out of it. I'd been in a habit of just buying whatever I wanted and it was hard to break. Good luck with everything!

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~*~ Katie ~*~






http://thewanfamilyadventures.blogspot.com/

Aack, what a tough position to be in! It isn't horrible at all to want to quit and to hate working. I think Katie's right, though, the first thing to do about it is to pray, pray, pray. I remember when I was PG with dd I would pray in the bathroom stall every time I had a bathroom break at work! I just knew I wanted to stay home with her but for the life of me I could not figure out how to do it because we really needed my income. Then I had dd, went on maternity leave, and still had no idea what we were going to do. Finally, at the moment when I had to choose whether to quit or come back full time a way opened up that I could never have forseen. My boss, who was so opposed to telecommuting when I suggested it a year or so prior to this, suggested that I cut back to part time and telecommute. I've been doing that for 2 years now and it has been perfect--I get to stay home Tues-Friday with my daughter (I'm in the office on Mondays), get my rest, and make the money that we need.

My point is that if we keep trying to do what the Lord wants us to do He will bless us--often in ways that we could not predict. Also, I was reading in a book called Strengthening the Family and the comment was made that we should strive for the optimal situation, not plan for compromises. Does that make sense? Don't sell Heavenly Father short--He'll show you the path to the miracle and He will always, always, always show you the way. It won't always be easy and it probably won't be something like "Here's a check, now quit your job," but He'll show the way.

And don't despair about the debt--it's a long, hard road but lots of people have done it and you'll make it too!!!!

Marianne

Speaking from experiance I would say buckle down and do what you need to do for your family. Move if you need to. If he is planning on not going back to school for a while then after you move quit you job and stay home with your child. My DH and I got into a lot of trouble in the same area and ended up moving in with my grandmother. We also had two children at the time. We got our stuff together did what we had to do to get back on our feet. When things were good I quit my job and now stay at home with my kids. I know working is hard when you have a baby at home, but you have to feed her and cloth her. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.

Oh Hun...I *completly* understand what you are going thru!! We are in the same boat right now. DH is working F/T during the day, going to school f/t at nite, mon-thrus, and *I* had to go back to work to help make ends meet. You have everyright to feel this way. The Church has counseled us to have at least one parent stay home (beit mom or dad) usually mom, and the world around us has also jumped on this bandwagon. It seems the *new trend* is to be a SAHM. But, in reality...it is impossible for some families to do this. So, we do what needs to be done, and HF understands and knows that. Have you ever heard the saying "God helps those who help themselves" ? We need to be doing all we can to help ourselves....and then also have faith that HF will let it all work out. Like Marianne said.....He will show you way.

My suggestion is what you already know..pray. It will work out for you. You may have to go back to work for a little bit...but hopefully...it won't be or long.

Good luck hun!!

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[quote=mama-to-3]Speaking from experiance I would say buckle down and do what you need to do for your family.QUOTE]

I totally agree... and only you will know (well, you and your DH) what is best for your family. For us, it means I'm going to be working full time until DH is done school. I absolutely hate it, but that's what we need to do. Obviously, I am continuing to look (ANY chance I can get) for the opportunity to work from home and make enough money for us to just get through these next couple of years.

If you do feel you need to continue working, just remind yourself that it won't be forever. That's what is getting me through it. We *could* get by with DH working part time and me working part time, but we decided, through prayer, that it was better for us to get on our own feet and not even think about asking family for money (we both come from big families and have brothers and sisters who could benefit from funds from the parents more than we could).... so for us, that means I'm working full time to get DH through school.

It's just a matter of your circumstances. Different people will handle things differently. Just how it is! Good luck! Let us know how things go for you.

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I understand your problem. I always used to work- and I loved it! But...then I became a mom. I love being with my kids more than anything ever. Suddenly the thought of leaving them (even if it was with my husband) just made me so sad and literally sik to my stomach. Yes, Ive held many part time jobs since I had my kids. Ive worked around my DH's hours so they have avoided daycare. But I HATED it. Leaving a toddler saying "please mommy..please stay with me" with tears streaming down her cheeks just killed me. leaving my sick child so i could go to work killed me, too. I cried many tears over the last 9 years of & on. For the first time ever Im HOME with them. We barely survive, but I am happier...which makes the kids happier, DH happier...the world is better!
Working a GRAVEYARD shift?? You cannot possible keep that up for long- it will burn you out! I cant imagine how you have been doing that! Keep praying for an answer. I know you want to move, but dont paint yourself into a corner or kill yourself working all night to do so! Wish I had an easy answer for you.

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Mom to twins- VERONICA & LUKA Shayla, Jaron and Sabrina

I love what Marianne said there. I hope you can quit working and stay home soon, but you know that if you pray about the answer you come up with He'll tell you if it is right. He loves you and stands ready to succor at all times. I think sometimes we forget (by Evil's design, I suppose) that faith is a powerful, powerful action verb that when put into action will deliver us.

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Angela