OK so this might come as a big vent, but I feel so crappy after comming home from church today. In RS the teacher was talking about how we need to love our selves, and treat our bodies like temples, and you know all that stuff~
At first I was like this is a great refresher, and then the lesson turned on me quick. She then started to go into how Utah is silicone valley, and everyone there has had plastic surg, and it's such a compition there, and all those girls who have had surg done must have some problems going on in their life~ At this point I was about in tears!
A little background on me- I have had a breast augmentation, and I feel it was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I didn't get them to wear lower cut shirts, or show them off to men- I got them to be able to wear a bathing suit, and to be able to feel comfertable with my body.
Anyways I just felt it was so wrong for them (yes the whole RS started a HUGE dissucsion about it that went on for about 15 min!) to say stuff like that. It also bugs how now that we live in Ca. every class refers to "People in Utah" in bad or looked down ways! They are always refered to in lessons and such-
OK off my rant- I just wanted to get this off my cheast, and vent ablout it since all my frineds were involved in the discussion, I didn't want to talk to them about it! Thanks for being here girls!

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Oh, hugs, Amy! I hate it when Relief Society gets off on tangents like that. Comparing ourselves to other people is NOT what lifts and inspires, even if we're supposedly on the "good" end! To have that happen in Relief Society, where we're supposed to be as one and feel strengthened by our sisters, is so frustrating. It's happened to me before, too. I hope you're feeling better today.

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Oh, I am so sorry. Having been in the RS Pres before, I know we would start to squirm and try to figure out how to get us back on track before it got off onto a tangent. I am sorry your feelings were hurt.

I am happy to say that in our lessons, we don't refer to people in Utah that way because half of the people are from Utah! Actually, the other day in primary, the teacher asked her class where God lived and one of the boys said "I don't know for sure but I think it is Utah!" The teacher told the mom after class while laughing that she really shouldn't teach her son that! It became a big joke and they later realized her son was talking about the Prophet, not God, but it gave us all a laugh.

When it comes down to it, what you do is between you and Heavenly Father, if you feel okay about it and so does He, then those people need to just keep their opinions to themselves. I am so sorry you felt bad after RS, I think we have all been there and it is so frustrating and maddening at times, especially when you are there to be uplifted.

Take Care!

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Well Amy.......as Annoying as that must have been for you, I hope you can take a little bit of comfort knowing that she was totally WRONG to start a discussion about what's wrong with people who have breast augmentation or get any kind of cosmetic surgery.

FLAT OUT WRONG to start a judgemental discussion that probably rid the room of any spiritual feelings. I'm sorry that happened to you Amy.

we had someone in our ward yesterday.......get up in testimony meeting and CHASTIZE the ward for not doing this or that, and she told us that if we disagreed with her, that we should get on our kness and PRAY!

You could talk to the Education counsellor and she could remind that teacher that we don't teach like that!

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Yes, they are wrong for doing that. I can bet that there were tons of women in the room feeling very uncomfortable, not just you!! Plastic surgery is WAY more common than people think...and LDS people tend to be very discreet so they are not judged or looked down on. I know a gal who is the RS president in her ward and just had breast augmentation surgery...I am sure lots of women in that ward would be shocked to find out their president had done such a thing.

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I agree with everyone in that was wrong to do this especially not knowing who all in the room might have had some work done themselves.

I have to say that it's really starting to bother me with all the "utah mormon's" stories that seem to get picked up on outside of Utah. I'm tempted to write a letter to the Presidency or something to have them to tell everyone to lay off Utah for cripes sake. We are no different then everyone else out there. We all striving for the same goal and we should help eachother and not tear each other down just because some of us live in Utah or not. It really saddens me that Utah keeps getting these labels.

Anyway I've had some close friends and a SIL who recently had breat augmentation. I also know of one other in my ward who's had it but I wouldn't call it something previlant anymore so than other places. All the women I know who've had it done did not do it to "enhance" themselves so to speak. It was more for deforaties they had, or for their self esteem and I have to problem with someone trying to help themselves feel better for themselves and no one else. Heck if I had the money right now I'd get a reduction and truthfully I probably will because I have terrible back problems that having a giagantic chest exaserbates (sp?).

Anyway I'm so sorry you made to feel that way and I know if I had been in there I unfortunetely probably would have spoken out and let my feelings be known. it irritates me to no end to be "judged" in church settings.

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Shabs
Christopher 4-01
Connor 5-03
Kaitlee 9-06

Brooke and Brennon 11-99

that should say deformaties, lol

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Shabs
Christopher 4-01
Connor 5-03
Kaitlee 9-06

Brooke and Brennon 11-99

So sorry you had to experience that! I agree, that was not the place to have a discussion like that!

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I agree with Holly--that should not have been part of the lesson. Not appropriate. As far as Utah bashing is concerned--it bugs me too. There are certainly things about living in Utah that I didn't care for, but I can't stand how people see only the bad and none of the good and assume that the worst element of a society (any society) is representative of the entirety. I always raise my hand an combat Utah bashing whenever I happen upon it. I'm not sure it does much good, but at least I try

Marianne

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Terrified, mortified, petrified, stupefied... by you!
--"A Beautiful Mind"

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. First off, no one except you knows exactly why you went through what you did, so no one (even if they try) has a place to judge you. I can sorely relate--lol! All my life I've tried not to compare myself to other women, but it's a tad hard when you're the only one whose breasts completely shrink after having a baby and everyone else is 2 cup sizes bigger!! Anyway, enough about me! I have to say that DH and I have had our fair share of discussions about members of the church in Utah. The only thing that fits only for people there--and certainly not everyone--is that there seems to be a misconception in some places that if you are a member of the church in Utah, you are some how better than every other member and that's simply not true. It doesn't matter where you are from and I'm so sorry people in your new ward are talking negatively about people in Utah. We all have similar experiences and I think Christine is right that people are just more discreet about getting plastic surgery, but that it does happen--no matter where you are. Sorry for such a little rant, myself, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Unfortunately, we will always have to deal with people who aren't very understanding and/or open-minded. My experience has been that it's almost worse in the church because many people try to live the letter of the law instead of the spirit... and when you're trying to live the spirit of the law, it's easy for people to look and think you've "left something out" or "done something wrong".

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Not to start a debate or anything, but I think that a lot of people who didn't grow up in Utah and then go to school there or move there see that for SOME (not all, obviously) members of the church, being a member is simply a family tradition and not really a way of life. That's how I observed it. Again, JMO and it totally doesn't fit every member there.

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I think you see that ONLY because there is a bigger population of members in Utah than outside. Everyone tends to "think" everyone else is a member because in reality probably 80%-90% are. You'll get that with any big group of people I guess.

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Shabs
Christopher 4-01
Connor 5-03
Kaitlee 9-06

Brooke and Brennon 11-99

Yeah, that's what I think too. The sorts of people that get Utah in trouble in this sense are in pretty much every congregation, but it's much more in your face when it is a large faction of these folks rather than just Sister WhatsHerName. KWIM?

Marianne

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Terrified, mortified, petrified, stupefied... by you!
--"A Beautiful Mind"

Yup--exactly what I was saying. People (members and non-members) are always surprised to hear that there are actually non-members who live in Utah... DH served his mission there and he's always getting comments like, who else is there to convert?

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Amy, I'm sorry they talked like that about us here in Utah. I don't like having a label put on me just because I was born and raised in Utah. I mean, don't they know it's not Christ like to judge others and bash them like that? It totally angers me that people in other states bash us so much. They are definitely not living their religion by doing so!

I know no one here that has had any type of plastic surgery. None of my friends have had plastic surgery. The majority of members aren't here bragging about it, that's for sure! I also haven't had any plastic surgery or anything like that. What would it matter if I had, and live here in this state and not another and had it done? I just don't get it. When I hear of bashing, it's usually done because they need to feel better than the one they're bashing. When in reality, it makes them look horrible!

I completely agree with the following quote:

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Oh dear! I here ya! I'm a "California Mormon" living in Utah, and get sick of the "differences" people think are there. I've heard it both places. Who cares!! In reality, there are faithful members everywhere. Yes, you have to get past the cultural differences and the cultural Mormons, but there are plenty of people outside of Utah that follow their faith for cultural reasons. It's just how it is, whether you are Mormon or Catholic or whatever. In reality, many people who live in Utah now aren't from Utah or have lived elsewhere. Some people here do have a closed minded mentality. Oh well, nothing new. Their's people like that everywhere.

As for plastic surgery, it's a personal decision. If you are really unhappy with who you are then it won't help. No amount of surgery in the world will fix low self esteem. If you are really unhappy with a part of yourself and you can afford it, more power too you! For me it's my dark circles and the scar on the tip of my nose, perhaps some day I can have these corrected.

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