How do I tell them?

SeattleSuz · #1 (**permalink**) 02-22-2006, 05:29 PM

Lately, I have been getting cards and many visits from missionaries and even my designated home teachers of the ward that I am supposed to attend. I have tried many times to tell them that I an inactive and my husband is Catholic, but they keep coming back.

Home teachers showed up yesterday and when I told them that I had been inactive for 10 years, and wasn't interested in home teachers, they kept pursing and trying to set up another time to come back, to give me their phone numbers in case I needed anything.

How do I tell them that I am not ready and not interested at this time with going back to church?

And not only that, but how in the heck did they find me???

Valmom23 · #2 (**permalink**) 02-22-2006, 11:09 PM

IF you feel strongly that you want to be left alone... I suggest you contact the bishop in that ward and ask for no contact!

Shabs · #3 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 11:28 AM

I've been tempted to ask for no VT myself just haven't had the courage to do it yet, lol, bad huh.

Anyway I'd tell them "give me your number I'll call you when I'm ready". If they don't take that maybe explain to them that their pursistance isn't helping your desire to get involved right now and to really back off. Sometimes the direct approach is the best. I just know we all need to take things at our own pace sometimes but other people don't realize that or see it that way.

SeattleMom · #4 (**permalink**) 02-24-2006, 07:03 AM

Hmm. Well, I do think that taking their number and telling them you'll call them when you're ready would be enough for many home teachers (or telling them you'd prefer no visits but would be ok if they wanted to put something in the mail). They're just trying to maintain contact so that if you feel you'd like to start going back to church then you have a link, a connection, an easier way to return.

One thing to think about, though, is that having home teachers that visit you isn't a commitment to return to church and might not be a bad thing. They're a resource for help if you need it and the visits should be brief (with a short spiritual message).

As far as finding you is concerned...I'm not sure exactly how records for inactive members get around and end up in the ward they would be attending. Inspiration?

Marianne

JenPB · #5 (**permalink**) 02-24-2006, 07:55 PM

It's unfortunate that they're not respecting your wishes and makinging you uncomfortable. If they recently "discovered" you, that might explain some of the zeal.

Please remember that the bishop does have a stewardship from the Lord to look after the welfare of all the members in his ward boundaries -- active or not. One of the main ways he stays on top of that is through home teachers. However, if you really don't want any contact, I'd think a note to the bishop should do the trick. Home teachers can come in handy at times, though... you could always ask them to watch after your pets while you're on vacation, help paint a room in your house, help move, etc.

BTW, I once had a call from the Church records department because they had lost track of one of my inactive brothers and they wanted to update their records.

Holly*Berry · #6 (**permalink**) 03-03-2006, 07:02 AM

I'm not meaning to offend anyone here and I certianly don't want to start a debate.

1. If you don't want contact, tell the Bishop plain and simple.

2. Be clear to the hometeachers and missionaries when they stop by.

3. Realize that they are doing what they believe is righteous.

It is my personal opinion that if you are not interested in the church at all and are not planning on returning, that "using" the home teachers to help you move or paint your house is probably not fair to them. My Dh is EQ pres and he and his fellow bretheren are BUSY. I think to keep contact with them SOLELY for the purpose of help when you want it is not right.

Like I said, this is my personal opinion, my dh is out every week, helping members and non members alike whether they are interested in re-activation or not, so he doesn't really share my opinon. My dh works really hard to help fellowship and re-activate people........if you're not interested in re-activating, then let them work with those who are.

SeattleMom · #7 (**permalink**) 03-04-2006, 12:30 AM

Oh, I think that was really said tongue-in-cheek, at least it was for me. As much as one appreciates the help, I don't think anyone is going to contract for the Elder's quorum to paint their house, KWIM? But I do think that contact even when you feel like you're not interested in re-activating at the time is really good because who knows what can change a heart? And I sure would want to make it easier for a person to come back.

Marianne

Holly*Berry · #8 (**permalink**) 03-04-2006, 06:29 AM

yes we want people to feel comfortable to come back. I guess I took that post so seriously because I'm a little sensitive about stuff like that. Especially since my Dh has had people do that to him.

You're right.....who knows what can change a heart!