Hi Ladies!
I am new. I've been on the board a few times just kind of checking it out but I decided to join officially. I live on the East Coast with my husband and three kids ages 11, 9 and 5.
I just wondered if any of you have ever struggled to know if you should have another baby or if you really are done. We thought we were done for a long time. My youngest (my only girl) has been begging for a sister for 2 or 3 years now. About a year ago, I had a dream that I was holding a newborn baby girl and I knew she was mine and it seemed very real. I have some issues with fatigue and thryoid stuff and I get awful morning sickness. My husband says he wants to do the right thing but he is hesitant, too. He already doesn't get enough sleep, gets up at 4:30 to commute to work and he feels like he isn't spending enough time with our 3 we already have, etc etc. Again, just wondered if anyone else has ever struggled with this and how you knew you had your answer.
Thanks! Looking forward to getting to know you all!

Hi, welcome to the board! I hope you stick around so we can get to know you better. I have been struggling just to have our first baby for about 2.5 years, so I can't answer your question specifically, though it sounds like a big decision. I would just make sure you fast and pray about it.
I'm sure there are other ladies that can answer your question better, I just wanted you to feel some support! Good luck! And again, welcome to the board!

Thanks for your reply. I think I have my answer but I am still waiting for my husband to receive an answer. It is too big of a decision for us not both to be on board with it, you know? So, he promised he would pray about it and I know he will. Sometimes I think we "overthink" these decisions and just talk ourselves out of it because it is scary to think of having a baby whether it is your first or fourth or whatever!

We struggled with that. We had really big fertility issues, and when it came to having a second, we weren't in agreement. I prayed and prayed and thought I had an answer . . . but it wasn't in agreement with dh's answer. When it came down to it, going through more fertility treatments was going to cause a significant strain on our marriage. I prayed again and got a different answer.

It took me a long time to realize that the answer to my prayer was dependent upon my husbands feelings as well. Although us having another child wouldn't have been wrong if we had both been on board . . . we weren't.

Sorry. I'm no help.

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I'm the type that doesn't like to ask because I don't want to know, gwim. Bad I know but I go more with what I know I can handle, what we as a family can handle, what Dh feels we can handle and what I emotionally and physically can handle. After this pg is done I'm pretty sure we are done ourselves or at least done with me being pg. We might actually adopt a few years down the road but I know I couldn't handle another pregnancy.

I will say with this one that I'm current pg with I just had the feeling we needed to at least try for another. I acutally ended up m/c over a year ago and then it took another year to even get pg again and we were almost to the point where we were going to go on clomid etc and I got pg a month before my apt for that, lol.

Definitely make sure both you and your Dh are on the same page though when it comes to kids. I've seen too many women just take it out of their Dh's hands and just do it and it really strains the marriage which is something you should treasure and keep good above all else if you ask me.

Good luck with your decision!

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Shabs
Christopher 4-01
Connor 5-03
Kaitlee 9-06

Brooke and Brennon 11-99

Hi Ladies
ALL the replies were very very helpful!!!!!!! I thought it was interesting in terms of those who spoke of being on the same page with the dh! The answer that I have gotten lately is that I need to heed my husband's counsel-whatever that counsel is. My husband worries about my physical health among all the other usual concerns of having #4. He prayed about it and said he did not feel an overwhelming confirmation that I need to get pregnant. I told him that I totally trusted him to get that answer and I feel as a wife, I need to follow and trust my husband more as he seeks to get answers from Heavenly Father. There is peace in that.
So, even though I believe we should not get pregnant, I have been feeling very much like there is another and I feel very impressed that my daughter needs to have a sister. So, we are going to look into a possible international adoption--maybe from Russia.
Thanks again, ladies. Look forward to getting to know you all!