Hi all, I was lurking at those debate threads about our religion. I knew it was only a matter of time before that subject was brought up there!!! I agree with all you've said about it here in this section of the board. Well said!!!

Anyway, my name is Lisa and I'm one of those "Utah Mormons." I was born and raised a "Utah Mormon" and I would like to know how I am so different from the rest of the LDS religion because I was born and raised in Utah? I live the LDS gospel the best I can, just every active LDS person does. I go to church on Sunday, I pray sincerely day and night, I try my best to read the scriptures whenver I get the chance. I even have a church calling. I love ALL my neighbors, LDS or not! I don't judge anyone. I was really wondering what the differences are between "Utah Mormons" and Mormons? If I'm doing any of the above wrong, please correct me! Everyone in my ward is also very kind to everyone and are great examples to follow. How is this different from other places on the map? Most everyone that's LDS here in Utah is loving and kind and willing to help anyone wherever needed. Not all, but most. There are bad people in every religion, I'm sure. But, it's not my place to judge.

I guess I didn't really appreciate being told that I am different than how others living outside of Utah live their religion. Can anyone living outside of Utah to tell me where we are SO different in our religion? I am confused...

Thanks, I really appreciate it.

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Hi there--I'm so sorry that that was brought up. I'm seriously sick of this whole deal and I SHOULD just stop coming and reading (because it ends up boiling my blood--not only because of what people are saying about us and basically telling us what we do and do not believe, but ALSO because there are members here who have been telling them incorrect doctrine *sigh*)

Okay, the whole Mormon vs. Utah Mormon thing. Having grown up outside of Utah, both my DH and I recall times when we were young where it seemed like the members in Utah were perceived as these people who were perfect--ummm thus the name Zion? Well, DH served his mission in the provo mission and I went to school in Idaho and let me tell you, we ran into a lot of people who were labeled "utah mormons" in that they had been members their entire lives but it was more a family tradition rather than a way of life. They claimed to be members, but didn't believe, didn't practice, etc.

I think it's awful to put that label on them and I, for one, have tried my hardest not to do that. I agree that I have met many, many good, faithful members of the church who were born and raised in Utah. Clearly you are one of them and you shouldn't have to be labeled as a "bad mormon" or a "different mormon" (or heck, a mormon at all--i hate that term)....

Anyway, I hope that that helps a little, even through my ranting!

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The Gospel is the Gospel is the Gospel. Don't worry about being labeled. You are living as righteously as you can and Heavenly Father is aware of your needs and concerns. It is not in someone else's hands to tell you if you are a good or bad anything. Please don't worry about that.

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Angela

I'm so sorry if it was me who used that term. I currently live in Utah, but was raised in Michigan. One of the things that I notice is not necessarly with the members, but with the wards as wholes.

My mom is a librarian at the Family History Center in my old ward back in Mich. She tells me that they will get memoms from SLC all the time with new "policies" for the libraries, and everytime my mom is on the phone with them because, while their new policies will work great in the Utah Valley, they really don't aplly to the rest of the world. Am I making sense? I didn't mean it to be a "bad term" I know that there are many wonderful loving memebers out here, as well as other parts of the world.

I have however run into some that were "different". For example, my DH grew up in Cali, but went to school out in Utah. He said that 90% of the girls he dated were having pre-marital sex, and then getting married in the temple. I know that not *all* girls who are memebers in Utah do this, but it was certainly a greater number than in my home ward. If a girl in my home ward was having premarital sex, she didn't get married in the temple. Another thing, I used to work for a big company in Provo, my boss, who was a member was divorced, and looking to relocate to Tennesse. She was nervous though because after her divorce the mojority of the members in her ward treated her differently. Like they judged her for getting divorced. Now, just going off of my own experiences in my home ward.....when a person got divorced, noone really judged them, at least not to the degree that I have seen out here.

I guess, I may not be making too much sense, sorry it's early Basically, what I am trying to say is that while there are good honest members of the Church out here, there are also many who take advantage ot it. In my home town, when my friends found out I was Mormon they "looked out" for me. They knew that I didn't drink smoke, or whatever, so..when we went to a party they themselves would not allow me to drink. BUT....in Utah, being Mormon, in my own experiences, doesn't mean "as much" to some. Since you can know 12 mormons in your High School, of which 3 are pregnant, 4 others drink on a regular basis, yet all all go to Church on Sunday and "claim" to be "good" members.

Sorry if I've hurt any feelings as that was certainly not my intention. I guess it's just really hard to explain if you have never lived anywhere else. I didn't mean anything bad by it. And it sounds as though you are a good member, living the gospel they way we are counsled to.

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I think a lot of it is what we talked about already about assuming everyone is LDS, went to the temple, served missions. It's just a generalization people in Utah have (I'm also in Utah ) NOt a bad one, just that that's how it is for the majority of the people so they assume when a new person moves in that they are LDS, and if they aren't it might surprise them. Other than that, I think that non-or in-active LDS members are already on the defense and assume all things against them are a prejudice because they are not active. For example, me neighbors probably think I'm a stuck up LDS member because I don't talk to them and I don't like to let my son play w/ their kids and he is not allowed to go to their house. Well it has NOTHING to do with their religious status and every thing to do with their parenting and the way their kids play with mine. They are mean to him, come over to my house w/o asking, I have caught them looking in my windows, they went through my back yard fence and into my basement, the parents NEVER are outside watching their kids and they constantly get hurt at my house playing in our yard while we aren't even outside, etc. etc. I won't let my son go over there because they don't watch their own kids, so why would they watch mine? It's for his safety. But I have no doubt in my mind that they think it's because they aren't active. If only they knew that my neighbors on the other side were also inactive and we have no problems with them, and my neighbors across the street ARE active but we have MORE problems with them then the others! Anyway, my point is that people in a minority situation get a chip on their shoulder and assume that any conflicts with others is a result of them being the minority. Just like how I occasionaly hear some one make the remark that so and so doesn't like them just because they are black or something else, what ever the case may be. Maybe some times it's true, but I would bet for the most part that it's more to do with them, not their minority status. So that is where I think a lot of people come up with the lable that Utah Mormons are mean to others.

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OK. I am going to write a novel in response to this. I was raised a non member here in Utah. I experienced serious judgement by the members of our area, as did my parents. I said in another thread that by the time I graduated from High School, I hated the Church. I was one of the people on the debate boards spouting all of the typical anti-mormon quotes. I had been hurt, ridiculed, judged, and alienated all because I did not attend Church on Sunday.

I need to clarify something before I continue - although I call myself a non-member, my mom had me baptised at the age of 8. She and my dad thought that it would help me NOT experience the alienation that their older children had experienced. My mom took the discussions with me, and took me to Church every Sunday for a year so that I could be baptised. She prayed about the BoM, but didn't find an answer. I chose to be baptised, so she stood behind my decision. Everyone in our Ward expected my mother to be baptised with me, but she wasn't. The Sunday after my baptism when my mom came to Church she tried to find a seat in Sacrament Meeting (I was sitting on the Stand because I was going to be confirmed), and no one would allow her to sit with them. My mom finally found a seat when the Bishop saw her crying and leaving, and went to her, and told someone that they were going to allow her to sit. She did not set foot into a Mormon Chapel again for a meeting until I blessed my daughter twenty years later.

In Utah it is very easy to become complacent in the fact that most of the people in the area are Mormon. I can't tell you how many times non-members are asked what Ward they are in. It seems harmless enough . . . but it hurts and is potentially insulting to be the non-member being asked. Many members don't consider that. I have a close friend that just moved to a new neighborhood. They were given what she calls the three week grace period . . . kids were playing with her son, people waved to her, etc. When she didn't show up to Church within a month, kids were no longer allowed to come over to her house to play. No one had taken the time to get to know her, but they were suspicious of her because she didn't come to Church.

Now, I am not saying that every Mormon in Utah is this way, but I have moved 11 times in the past thirteen years, and have witnessed this enough to know that it happens fairly regularly, and in every socio-economic status. I have even found myself when I had custody of my neice asking her what ward her friends were in, and I about died that I did it. It is an easy trap to fall into when most of the people ARE Mormon. That shouldn't be a reference point for anyone unless you already know that they are LDS, and are asking for some other reason. KWIM?

In California for example, when you meet a person, you would never think to ask what Ward they are in for a reference point as to where they live. THAT is on significant difference between the Utah Mormon and any other Mormon - the assumption that your neighbor is Mormon - as is their neighbor. It isn't done malisciously (sp?), but it is done.

I don't know if that even closely answers your question. And I am sure that there are other versions out there as to what a Utah Mormon is . . . I am also sure that there are areas where other religions are common that this is an issue for - like the Bible Belt. Although maybe not as much, because they are not dividing to congregations based on geographical locations . . . but you get the idea, hopefully. It isn't meant to be an insult, and I am sorry if you took it that way, but Utah Mormons do behave differently than Mormons in areas where the religion isn't as prevalent - whether WE realize it or not.

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Well having lived outside of Utah a few different times the biggest difference I notice (at least for myself) is the members outside of Utah seem to be more a close knit family. Dh and I were friends with people that in Utah we may not have been as close to. The church really pulls you together outside of Utah. Inside Utah there are so many members that we tend to become friends with those that we have the most in common with. I'm not saying this is in every single case even for us, just something I noticed while "away" from Utah!

I grew up in Utah too and I can see the things these other girls listed! As far as the Gospel, nothing is different. In Utah or out of Utah the Prophet is the Prophet, the BOM is the BOM, things are all the same in that respect!

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I was one that said that... but see, I too was raised outside of Utah. When I moved here, I thought the saints would be a lot like the ones I was raised around. NOPE!! The LDS students looked out for each other (mind you I only had 5 other LDS student in my schools), and in fact so did my other classmates. I can't tell you how many times putting a soda to my lips I would hear "I thought Mormons didn't drink soda".

When I moved here, it was SO different, everyone kept to themselves. Half of the kids that I would see smoking around school grounds were found at church blessing the sacrament. (I know that happens else where but it was different) I have never seen so many parents so forceful of making sure their sons serve a mission (worthy of doing so or not). In fact, a guy that I worked with was kicked out of his parents home because he wasn't worthy enough to serve a mission when it came time.

I have never seen church become a popularity contest before... until I moved here. In many ways who holds a calling is the son of ____, or Old Bishop ____ daughter is in this ____. For the most part (of course I am up north) it feels like anyone new that not LDS is "clueless" and for the most part treated as such.

I am glad that you are a good person... and maybe I am being unfair... but this is what I have seen and have felt!

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I pretty much Ditto what everyone has said. I grew up mostly outside of Utah and noticed a difference when we moved here. There were 4 other LDS kids in my school and we were lucky to actually have our church be in our town. However, the closest Temple was and hour and a half away, so we didn't get to go that often. We have so many Temples close to us, that sometimes it's not deciding when to go the the Temple that is hard, but WHICH ONE we will go to. Unfortunately I have become used to the fact that there are so many Temples and I don't go as often as I should.
I too noticed members being more promiscuous here than where I grew up, but I was also very naive. I thought that because I believed it was wrong and had the same beliefs as most others here, that they weren't doing anything like that either.
Seminary was at 6:00 in the morning and here in Utah, it's part of your day at school. There are a few differences between "Utah Mormons" and Mormons everywhere else, and there are always exceptions to every rule. We all believe the same thing and we need to remember that.
Oh yeah, I wanted to comment on someone saying that they were treated differently because they were NOT LDS. I too was treated differently by some people when I was growing up because I AM LDS. I know how horrible it is to feel different from almost everyone around you, so I have tried to treat everyone the same. We have new neighbors next door who drink alcohol and smoke cigarrettes and are not members. They are also some of the nicest people we have met. Our Bishop wanted every neighborhood to have a BBQ a few weeks ago, and we invited EVERYONE, not just people who are members. I was glad to see that there were people there who were not members, but still apart of our neighborhood.

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Hi Lisa!

I haven't ever spent a lot of time in Utah, but it definitely has a different feel to it. For the most part, the members there are great. I have quite a few relatives that live in SLC, Layton, and those areas, and they are some of the best people I know, and definitely live the gospel like it's supposed to be lived. At the same time, some of my roommates at school were from Utah, and not all of them, mind you, but quite a few, could just be completely hypocritical, judgemental, etc. It always surprised me. And my MIL has some relatives that can knock your socks off with how completely horrible they are to nonmembers. Every time we get together she has a new story about them, how their son is engaged to a non-member and his parents are just going ballistic and cutting him off from the family and treating them like absolute dirt, things like that. You can find that sort of attitude anywhere, but it seems to be much more prevalant in Utah where people are very concious of what is the "norm". Other examples the ladies listed sound right to me, too.

But again, there are a lot of GREAT upstanding members in Utah, you included!, and they're probably in the majority compared to the bad apples, but it's certainly not fair to lump everyone into one giant negative generalization.

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Becky
DH Jesse
DD Melinda, Oct. 16, 2003
DS Jacob, Aug. 14, 2005
#3 due March 26, 2008

I wanted to comment on this without offending anyone. I wasn't raised in Utah. I have to say that after living in Utah for 5 years I'm not seeing the whole "Utah Mormon" thing and I live in Wymount so I am in the "Utah Mormon" heartland. I think sometimes Mormons who live outside of Utah form an opinion on those living in Utah and it's not always a fair one.

I think that some people who have grown up in Utah don't have the experiences I've had. They might not understand what it's like to be different or be the only member, but I don't necessarily think that makes them any better or worse. We are moving away from Utah and although there are a lot of things I'm looking forward to there are so many things I'll miss. I think Utah has been a great place to live and I have truly benefitted from having the experience of living around so many like-minded people.

I've seen all the things listed as a Utah Mormon happen when I lived outside of Utah - girls in my ward got pregnant and were later married in the temple, kids smoked pot and then blessed the sacrament, some of our wards weren't a close-knit family, people in my wards assumed all the men had been on missions and the families sealed in the temple, etc.. These things can happen anywhere. Also, no matter where I've lived certain people have held up their callings as a social status. I don't think these things are all only happening in Utah it's just a lot more noticable b/c almost everyone is LDS so these things are happening in greater numbers. I have also met some of the least judgmental and kindest people of my live here.

I for one wish that we wouldn't stereotype each other - it can hurt and it doesn't unite us.

I agree that Utah Mormons are probably different than others because we grow up with it all around us, but I think alot of the stuff said here is not true for all of the Utah Mormons. I've never been in a ward or areas where this is true:

".in Utah, being Mormon, in my own experiences, doesn't mean "as much" to some. Since you can know 12 mormons in your High School, of which 3 are pregnant, 4 others drink on a regular basis, yet all all go to Church on Sunday and "claim" to be "good" members."

The closest I've seen of that in an area was actually when I lived in Idaho, but even then it wasn't that bad.

In High School most of my friends weren't members or were inactive and I had no problem with that. I also grew up non-Mormon until I moved to Idaho when I was 11, but most of my friends in school were Mormons and I was never bugged about it. I don't think I even knew the difference between Mormons and myself.

So to make those assumption about all Utah Mormons is unfair. I never assume a person is Mormon unless they say something to make me think they are. I don't judge nonmembers, I've always had nonmember friends, and they are still normal people.

Sorry if I sound mean or attacking, I don't mean to, I just want you to know that it hurts to be judged like that just for living in Utah.

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Thanks so much for answering this everyone. I really appreciate it.

I'm not hurt by what was said about us being different, so no need to apologise. I am just curious to understand what everyone else sees in us that's so different in how we live our religion.

Maybe in some areas of Utah there is more of a difference in the Mormons? In my area, we are sooo not like all the negative things said about them. I live in an area where all the neighbors are loved and included, even the non LDS members! We are having a BBQ this Saturday and invited the entire neighborhood, we don't care if our neighbors are LDS or not, we still involve them. We try to set a good example and love our neighbors. Isnt' that what it's all about? I was raised to love one another and I dont' believe in judging people. I do remember in high school some of the Mormon girls lived the religion so strictly that it made them look like snobs and they seemed judgemental. I felt it to be a problem with the teens. I ended up having more non LDS friends because of this. But I just try and treat others the way I would like to be treated.

My in laws moved up here from Prescott AZ, and their son is smoking marijuana and not living the gospel to the fullest. I really feel bad for him. They seem to be struggling a lot with things in their lives and their daughters don't want to go to church on Sunday. It is really sad. But my bil tells them if they dont' go they will be grounded and can have no friends. THis is comming from a member who grew up in Arizona!!! I personally feel that pushing someone to go to church and not giving them the choice is the way of Satan. Jesus gives us a choice. The way they live their religion is definitely different from how I try to live mine. But that is what I've notived from an LDS family comming from another state. I'm not saying they are all like this at all, but it's the only close experience I've had with a LDS family outside of Utah.

So, I am going to say it is not the religion....it is the individual. I know I am trying to live my life the best I can and I know that's all that should matter.

Sorry this was so long.

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Oops, sorry for all the typos, I should've spell checked before sending. I hope it makes sense, lol.

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I think everyone who is living the gospel is that same, but when a bunch of Mormon are living together really close like in Utah, things get kind of funny and church becomes a social event for some people. I have lived in Cali most of my life, but lived for five years in Provo while going to BYU. Some of the things I found to be odd were:

1.. Some of my Utah friends were shocked that my high school only had three Mormons and they acted like you couldn't be friends with anyone who wasn't LDS or didn't have the same background.

2. One of them told me it was very common for girls/boys to attend the temple for baptisms for the dead with the youth group and then go smoke pot afterwards. She said that church, for her and her friends in high school, was a social thing. You went cause thats what everyone else did. Growing up here in Cali, going to church made you different, and was sometimes a struggel, and we were less likely to abuse church activities in this way.

3. My aunt has been a YW leader both in Utah and LA. She the girls in Utah had way more morality problems and had more premarital sex than the ones in LA.

4. Church just seems like a huge social thing there. There are parties for everything church-related. Parties after farewells, parties after blessings, etc...people attend sacrament meeting and then skip the rest to go home and party.

Ok, these are just some of the things I noticed, and I am just trying to give a candid answer, and not judge you or any other specific person.

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I totally agree with what Christine said. (thats what I was trying to say in my post, but it didn't come out as well )

I can see where people who have lived here all their life have a hard time understanding what we are trying to say. It's hard to explain if you have never lived outside of Utah, even harder to explain via message boards.

I know that "lumping" every Utahan together is not a good thing to do. But I never said that *all* Utah Mormons were this way, but a mojority of the ones I have met (and we have been in 2 different wards here in Utah) *have* fit into alot of what Christine said. Now, that doesnt mean that kids in my ward didn't go out partying on Sat and then bless the Sacrament on Sunday. It happens everywhere. I have just never see it more prevelant than here in Utah. And the whole "premarital sex" thing, yes, it does happen elsewhere, HOWEVER....in other areas I did not see girls having sex with guys and then, litteraly 3 months later, get married in the temple. (yes, I do know 3 girls that did this. And DH had dated some, none of whom he had sex with, and later, like 6 months after they broke up, the girl was getting married in the temple when DH knew for a fact that she had had sex after he dated her.)

Now, I'm not trying to say that Utah Mormons are bad, and that everywhere else the Church is better, I'm just trying to point out that there are a few differences in the way they do things. I love everyone!! And I hope that the comments that were made on the debate board didn't really hurt anyones feelings.

Bottome line...we are all trying to live the gospel the same way, regardless of where we live...

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I was in the YW Presidency in Florida, 2 or 3 of them got pregnant, a few party'ed, basically didn't kee