Can I Vent About Callings......or People Who Expect Others To Do Theirs For Them?

Holly*Berry · #1 (**permalink**) 01-27-2006, 03:15 PM

Hi everyone......I just NEED to get this out! My Dh is Elder's Quorum President and he is SOOOOOO busy. He works 3 jobs 12-15 hrs a day 6 days a week, and he barely has time to TTC with me never mind be at the beck and call of the entire STAKE!

We have people in and out of our ward who hand out our phone number to anyone and everyone who needs something! I'm not wanting to be uncharitable here but there comes a time when people have to do their OWN callings and not call the EQ pres to do everything!

The straw that broke the camel's back was this: I just got off the phone with the Ward Mission Leader.......he has yet another person for Dh to provide a ride for, or find a ride for! We already make 3 trips to church on SUndays to bring people and I'm last on the list so me and the kids have to run into the meeting at the last minute. I said "Listen, please understand that my Dh doesn't have time to call around to arrange rides for people or drive everyone himself". So the guy says....."well he knows more people than I do." I told him I would get some names of people that HE could call but I can't promise him anything.

I feel like....Geesh! Do your OWN calling buddy, and you'll get to know people!

I explained to him that my Dh has been at work for the last 12 hours and he wasn't going to be home anytime soon. Once he gets home, he has a course he has to work on, and tomorrow, he has EQ Pres meetings, home teaching, cleaning the Stake Center, delivering a meal to a family with me and we will be helping them with some stuff around their home THEN he has to prepare a lesson as he is teaching RS/PH this Sunday. The guy barely has time to eat! and his counselors are no help as they always have excuses as to why they can't help with anything.

Does anyone else ever feel this way???? I have told the Bishop, I'm getting sick of it very quickly.

B10family · #2 (**permalink**) 01-27-2006, 07:47 PM

I'm so sorry! I've never had to deal with that as my Dh just plain doesn't put up with stuff like that. He's been in the EQ presidency before but it's never gotten that out of hand. I really feel for you! I'm glad you told the Bishop and I'm glad you told that guy how it was. Sometimes it is hard as you don't want to offend anyone but ya I'd help your Dh find a way to delegate more!
HUGS!!!

Leiahs · #3 (**permalink**) 02-01-2006, 08:36 AM

Oh, I'm so sorry! I think situations like that are the biggest reason I fear my DH ever having a "big" calling like that! I'm so selfish about the time I get to spend with him, I think I would literally go insane if he were as busy as your DH!

I absolutely think he (or maybe you, for him) needs to put his foot down and make sure people are doing their own callings. If people want to call him for recommendations for people to call, that's fine, but dont' just ask him to do it for them. And you know, in my ward, we have a "rides coordinator" LOL - someone who is in charge of JUST arranging rides for people who don't have their own transportation. Sounds like your ward might be in need of something along those lines.

I wish I had some advice about counselors who won't help - but I think maybe the bishop would be the one to talk to about that issue. Your family needs your DH as much or more than the ward needs him, and if people's lack of being responsible is getting in the way of that, it needs to be taken care of, IMO.

SeattleMom · #4 (**permalink**) 02-01-2006, 10:50 AM

We have a ride coordinator in our ward too. Very nice. Also, if the counselors aren't doing what they ought to do (ie be a support) then I would definitely chat with the Bishop about it. Maybe it is time for releases if they are in a place where they can't handle the time committment required for the calling? That sounds harsher than I meant it. I just mean that if for whatever reason they can't do the calling then maybe it is time that they got a break from it.

Marianne