I've actually posted here once before, but I have a tough question that i need an answer to. Or maybe its not that big of a deal but I still think it needs to be addressed. Tonight, Alexis my 31/2 year old was putting play make up on me (we do this often lately) when she started putting what I thought was blush on. But she kept going and going, and I asked her what she was doing. She said she was painting my face black so I would be like her and daddy. I tried to explain to her that it's was ok for now, but mommy being white was ok too, and she told me no, I dont want you to be, I want you to be like me. I didnt know what to say, so I just let her do it, without saying anything. But I just dont know what to say about it. She likes to point out that her and daddy are brown (or black, depending on her mood)and that mommy and brother are pink (white), but now she's telling me she doesnt like it and she wants us all the same. Is this the time to address the difference, and if so what should I say. If not, when is the right time, or what should we do???? I'm confused on this, I never thought it would be an issue, but I guess at some point kids to notice a little difference you know. Any help would be great ladies, I'd really appriciate it. I dont want to say or do the wrong thing and make her feel like one is better then the other or anything like that.

Hi Katy,
I hope you will come here more often
I went through the same thing with my daughter, just she was saying she wants to be white like mommy. We live in a white country (only a small percentage of others) so i guess thats why she felt its better to be white, its better to be like others. I know it was mainly cos of kids in the kindergarten, one day she came back home and start saying - this is white (pointing at my hand) and this is black (pointing at her hand) i was shocked! I told her no one is white, even me. I took a piece of paper near my hand and asked her if thats the same color as my hand? she said no, and i asked what color has that paper - she said white - so i said - see? i am not white
i said its just the way people describe the shade of the skin, but its not always accurate. And i said that people have different shades of skin color, and none is better than others. It would be boring if we would all look the same. And i said i can get similar skin color to hers when i will get the sun tan and that many people wants to be tanned so its all good.
In your case its kinda reversed. But you could still point out that different people have different shades of skin. Like even black people are not the same - you can find so many shades of their skins, same with whites. So there is no need to be exactly the same as others. And i think its not early to talk about it, beacuse she already sees the difference.
I know its not easy, for me it was a very hard time. So good luck

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I would try and get some books for her to bring it up in a fun way.

There is the Sesame Street "We're different, we're the same" that Mimi likes us to read to her... there are a few more that you can easily find on Amazon.com... and fairly affordable.

A few more suggestions:
- All the colors of the world
- Whoever you are
- Black is brown is tan
- The colors of us
- Black, white, just right

And some reading for you as a parent:
- I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla : Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World

oh Renee is right, books are great idea. i have many bookmarked, too bad i didnt have a chance to buy them...

Why Are All Families Different? (Why Books)
Colors Come from God Just Like Me
Why Am I Different?
Mommy, Why Are People Different Colors? (Mommy Why?)
Multicultural Games
The Skin I'm In

Thank you ladies for the advice, and thanks for the book recommendations. I'll definatly be looking into them. I never thought I'd need anything before, I thought it wasnt a big deal that we looked different. But when Lexie came home one day from somewhere, I dont even remember where and she said Mommy I'm black, I realized that whether or not our family saw each other as just our family, others would still see us as black and white. I hate to think if it, honestly, I am so afraid that my daughter and son will face discrimination of all sorts. I mean look at my baby boy, he's "whiter" then me, yet he's mixed as well, and I can see him not being accepted by one group, and my daughter being not accepted by another. And I dont want that. UGH, I'm definatly going to sit down and read some on how to handle these things I never thought would be an issue. Thanks ladies. I'll definatly be sticking around