*sigh* I am just so upset/mad/sad/disappointed.

This man (babys father) has put me through so many changes since I got pregnant, his mood and attitude has flip flopped so much, its enough at this point for me just to tell him to go away.

When I first got pregnant he seemed happy, then by day 2 he was nervous/scared. By the end of that weekend he didn't want the baby and gave me $400 to have an abortion.

We have spent the last 7 months going back and forth from he wants to be here, wants to be with me, wants the baby, to he has no interest whatsoever and at times couldn't/wouldn't even acknowledge the baby. This man has an 11 yr old son in AZ, but he refuses to tell his son that there is a baby sister on the way. As a matter of fact, he has only told a few select people about the baby at all, like his mother, one brother and a cousin in NY.

Over Christmas he was so much better, even talking about marriage. Now I have found out he was cheating on me (I was left with evidence that required antibiotics), but he denies it completely.
Now he has said I am unreasonably hostile. He said he can't give me 100% "right now", that being here with me and the kids is like being in prison, and even said that this baby probably isn't his. This is a 40 year old man....not a teenager....I am just amazed.

Everything has been turned around and is now MY fault according to him. I changed, I am difficult and disrespectful. We got into a very big argument the other day and I told him to "F" off. Because of that he has said he is now relieved of any and all financial obligation and is refusing to help pay off the midwives or buy anything for the baby.

I can't take this anymore. I have spent too much time crying and hurt over this, wondering whats wrong with ME???
I deleted his number from my cell phone last night, I am selling the stuff he left behind here (he said he didn't want it...a tv, dvd player, stereo/speakers, VCR, ent center and computer desk) and sending back the lil junk he bought for the baby (some tshirts/socks and booties). Even if i keep it I will NEVER put it on her.

I don't want anything to do with him anymore. He has said in the past he's moving back to AZ (I'm in MI) in March anyway. I just feel so bad for my little girl, her father is a fool. My other five children have a good father, and I'm afraid when she gets older she'll feel left out. I made such a big mistake and I really feel like an idiot now.

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~Jen





Co-Hostess of Interracial/Intercultural Families

jen...

i so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this especially while you are pregnant. i hate to say this but maybe you and your daughter are better off without this "40 year old child". sometimes i think some men never grow up.
cheer up

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Thanks. I am getting better, that I can even talk about it. Some days are a lot easier than others. If I stay mad, I'm okay right now, then I don't cry. but eventually I know for my own sanity I'll have to let the anger go.
It is better that he's gone, he had some serious issues that I didn't even mention. The way he talked to his mother is one. Absolutely disrespectful, I was appalled and I spoke up too...he didn't like that at all.

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~Jen





Co-Hostess of Interracial/Intercultural Families

I'm sorry you are going through this, you shouldn't have to. This is suppose to be a joyous moment for all those involved. You deserve better. Don't allow him to steal anymore of your happiness. You are better off without him. Right now you need a stable man who knows what he wants and knows what he has to do to make things right ... he ain't that man.

Don't look at this as a mistake but a blessing from God. Your daughter may never not get to know her dad like you had wished but at least she will grow up to be a woman who knows that the man in her life won't be like a her dad.

Hugs!!!

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Diane
Proud Mommy to Dominic Izaiah
June 17, 2003

I have no greater joy than knowing my son walks with the Lord!

You can do bad by yourself. And sometimes what the devil means for bad God means for your good. YOu are better off without him if he is not doing anything to help or add to your life. If hes taking away from it you dont need him. I will keep you in my prayers and pray that God will send the right person into your life.

I agree with the other ladies, sometimes we want to hold on to something God is trying to tell us to get away from. Sounds like you will be much better off without this 40 year old kid, and your daughter will have 5 other beautiful siblings to look up to and a wonderful mother!

Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers Hugs to you

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Jen,
I know just how you feel. A lot of what you wrote about reminded me of what I went through with Taren's father! He didn't even tell his mother about Taren being on the way until I was 7 months pg! Yeah, and he cheated on me while I was pg as well.

If you ever need to talk, you can e-mail me any time at tandenwill1@yahoo.com I'm a great listener {{{HUGS}}}

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Oh Jen, sorry you are going through this during your pregnancy, I agree with the other ladies, you are better off without him. TAKE CARE!

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Angie DH Keith TTC#1 since 2003

After too many Clomid cycles, 3 failed IUI's, and removal of polyps/endo around uterus, we got a surprise on a natural cycle after Laparoscopy

Proud parents to a boy Myles Percy born on 10-11-07 by c-section at 1p.m.