if johnny jumps off a cliff, are YOU going to jump too?
by lorilee craker

So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. 1 Thessalonians 5:6

In the movie 13 Going on 30, a young teenager, Jenna (played by Jennifer Garner), thinks her life stinks because she's not as cool as the Six chicks tribe of she-wolves who rule her school. Though Jenna wishes she were in the hip crowd, her actual best friend is Matt, her chubby, decidedly uncool neighbor who obviously thinks she's the best thing since Twinkies. Of course, his crush is unrequited.

Jenna laments her flat chest, metal mouth, and low placement on the social food chain. Inspired by an article in her favorite magazine, Poise, entitled "Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving." Jenna latches on to the idea that to be thirty is to have it all and then some. When her thirteenth birthday party goes horribly wrong, Jenna makes a birthday wish to be thirty. Viola! The next morning, Jenna awakens in a fabulous New York City apartment her thirty-year-old life complete with walk-in closet and a studmuffin hockey player boyfriend.

Surprises abound fro the fish out of water. For example, she is now best friends with Lucy, the queen snob of the cruel Six Chicks clique from middle school. Jenna also discovers to her dismay that she isn't a very nice thirty-year-old: underlings at work are scared of her, and she is completely out of touch with Matt. And when she does find her long-lost best buddy, he has grown into a handsome, gentle, endearing guy (surprise, surprise).

If you have seen the movie, you know that eventually Lucy's true colors show, and she is revealed to be just as warped and self-centered and mean-spirited as she was in middle school.

This particular film isn't supposed to be profound, but oddly enough my girlfriends and I found it to be so. (Maybe we need to get our more!) What resonated with us is that Jenna wanted so badly to be like Lucy and the Six Chicks that she would change her personality and interests and even hurt her truest friend to assimilate. Her story illustrates how powerful the temptation to fit in can be. With her new thirty-year-old perspective, Jenna could see with crystal clarity that Lucy and her ilk weren't worth bending over backwards to be like them. To stretch a bit, Jenna's fierce desire to be liked caused her to sin, turning her back on Matt and morphing into a conceited she-wolf herself.

My friends and I lingered by our cars for quite a while, talking about our own rather hideous junior high experiences and how at that age we would have gladly sold our souls to be accepted by certain groups. Why had we been so skewed by the allure of popularity? One of our groups, Cindy, recalled how she had been shunned one day for no apparent reason other than she had been away from school during the time when her friends formed a "club" without her. Someone had read a book that five was the perfect number for a girl's club, and since Cindy would make six, she was cut off from their friendship. For three years she suffered from the humiliation of being on the outside looking in. Then suddenly one day she was back "in," as if nothing had ever happened. Another woman told how she too had been avoided, ignored, and whispered about during her eighth-grade year by a powerful girl's clique. It hurt like crazy when it was going on, she said, but ultimately her pain and loneliness as a social outcast led her straight into the arms of her heavenly Father.

My sons are still small, yet even they have experienced to some degree the forces of peer pressure. Jonah is so socially motivated, so into being part of the gang, that I fear for him. He has already made comments about other boys seeing certain movies, playing with certain toys, and even wearing a particular type of clothing. "Just because so and so does this doesn't mean you have to," I tell him, my parents' words echoing in my mind. I pray my son will have the courage and character to follow his own path even if it means he won't be liked at times. I too want to be liked by other people. I'm a "pack animal" who loves people and groups. But, like Jenna, I have come to realize that being accepted and adored by people is a fleeting thing. Being accepted and adored by God is a given, now and for eternity.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 31:9

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formerly pwfaith