How do you help someone you care about?

W/LUV · #1 (**permalink**) 09-01-2006, 09:03 AM

My Boss is not a christian although he used to be or at least he was raised to be. He is an acoholic and depressed. He says that he trust me and wants to confide in me. He has been going down for a while and we keep saying well when he hits bottom then things will change. He is SAD. He thought once he got a divorce things would be better, but that life did not prove to help anything but I think it spun things even more out of control. Now people close to him have hurt him, you know broken his trust or they took sides with the divorce. Now something else has happend and I think it could serve as a reality check and he can use this to motivate him to do better. But how do I help him see that without down playing his feelings. I realy have to walk on my tip toes because if I say something that hurts his feelings then we not trust me anymore and I think he has to have that one person he can confide in. But it's like I don't know if I am getting through to him because he just keeps saying he is going to hell and I'm like well you can change that but he doesn't seem to want to change it. How do I help pull him up. What can I give him to hope for? Does any one have any advice? I really hope that what I say or do can help because he respects and trust me, so do you think God is using me here? OH I just need to pray that God will give me the words or show me what he wants me to do.

Becky Beth · #2 (**permalink**) 09-01-2006, 03:05 PM

Lots of prayer, only God can change his heart.

If this guy has been depressed for a while it becomes a comfort zone, its what he knows and the longer he is depressed the harder it is to get out of it.

Personally, I would give him a Bible and a list of verses about hope in his situation. Give him the number to your paster.

You are married right? Be very careful about him confinding in you, as it can lead to bonding and problems.

Just keep praying.

God Bless

Becky Beth · #3 (**permalink**) 09-01-2006, 03:07 PM

Why not put on some praise and worship music at work, and scuriptures on the wall?

matthew · #4 (**permalink**) 09-01-2006, 03:43 PM

Firstly pray. This is the best and really only thing we can really do. Pray specifically about it all, his situation and for what help you can do.

Regarding your input, you are there for a reason so follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. Gods word never returns void. It may take a time to see it take affect, you might not, but it will in some way. It firstly works inside us, then the changes are able to be seen from the outside.

However be careful. If he is in a sensitive state he might think that its you that is the answer and that there is more to it than simply friendship and concern. Its a very risky business, a women being the only real person a man can confide in, so pray about that as well. See if you can get your boss to be more open with another guy or invite another man to be with you when you are talking to him. Its amazing how the enemy can get into a situation and create chaos. In truth i do believe that men should be councelled by men and women by women whenever possible. I dont mean tho that its completely out of the question but we do have to be very careful.
I do hope you understand what i mean.

God bless,

Matthew

Becky Beth · #5 (**permalink**) 09-02-2006, 02:50 AM

Originally Posted by matthew

In truth i do believe that men should be councelled by men and women by women whenever possible. I dont mean tho that its completely out of the question but we do have to be very careful

I agree, please be careful. I know you want for you boss to find God, but I feel its another mans place for you boss to confine in.

God Bless

W/LUV · #6 (**permalink**) 09-04-2006, 08:30 AM

Thank you for your responces. I am very concerned about where this could lead. I know that satan can turn any good intention into his own work of deciet (sp). My boss always has another co-worker in his office when we talk. It is a female though. I am worried because we hug each other and at first it was just like a thank you hug but know its an I'm here for you hug and with him being lonley and all I just feel like it's to close for comfort kwim. I have written down bible verses for him, but he says there is nothing I can tell him that he doesn't already know and he doesn't like for me to do that. I always have a bible verse on my desk I update it depending on my mood, and I know he reads those. I thought about calling and checking on him this weekend but then again I don't want to get too close out side of work. He is one of those guys that relates better to women and his closest friend is a women. I know he has close guy pals but I don't know if they are christian. I take that back he does have a client that is a pastor and he sometimes talks to him ( I don't know if he confides in him) I will pray that God will bless my boss with a man that will help guide him onto the right path. I don't want to pull away to quickly because I don't want him to feel regected. But I really do feel like I have said all I can as far as pointing him to God. I tried to get him to find strength in God and not in himself. Please if you have any more advice let me know. TIA

W/Luv
Rachel

matthew · #7 (**permalink**) 09-04-2006, 04:27 PM

Ask God for direction in how you are to deal with this, is there anything more you can do.
At times all we can do is walk away but be there if they want to speak to us. It may seem harsh but it may be the only way for us to help them onwards. Again see what God says. He is the one with the answers.

God bless,

Matthew

Becky Beth · #8 (**permalink**) 09-04-2006, 04:52 PM

Hugs don't sound like a good idea. I think you can see that though.
I think the number of your paster or something is the best bet, hang in there, God is stronger then the devil.

God Bless