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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 04-25-2005, 07:47 AM
SKObsessed
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 3,751
Icon5 PG/MC Mentioned

Are those "warnings" really needed?

No one warns you in life about "life" happening... why do it here? I don't care if someone is TTC, has miscarried or is pregnant and worried... life happens and if you can't deal with it, close your eyes and plug your ears. Certainly people that can't handle threads like "I'm pregnant" or "I just had a miscarraige" ought never be allowed any access to media in any form due to their sensitivities.

Furthermore x-posts warnings... so what? Is it mostly a statement that says "I posted this on a private board too"? If you posted something on a "due in" month and on your baby board... are there really so many people that share those two boards with you that would need it to be explained to them that it's posted twice? "Warning, don't reply to this same thread in two different spots", lol.

So this isn't a huge rant, infact it doesn't anger me at all. It's not hurting me in the least to see these "warnings" but am in awe as to why they're put there in the first place.

Maybe it's just me though, and it's truly somehow rude to just spout off your good news of pregnancy without warning, or to sorrowfully tell the ladies you've grown to know in your due date board that you lost the child. Perhaps not letting the world know you wanted the opinons of more than where you posted is in bad taste, lol.
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Old 04-25-2005, 08:21 AM
SKMagnificent
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southwestern U.S.
Posts: 1,163
Default Re: PG/MC Mentioned

Well, myself when I was on the month boards I liked the title having some mention that there was a loss mentioned so I could avoid reading it. I dont think a "warning" in the title is necessary. A simple title such as I mc'ed is fine. I know there are losses, but I was pretty paranoid, especially with my daughter, so I didn;t want the details. Knowing the content helped me to avoid having to get freaked over yet another way or stage of mc.
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Old 04-25-2005, 09:01 AM
SKObsessed
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 3,751
Default Re: PG/MC Mentioned

We're not the same, and I can respect that. I'll get angry/sad/upset about things that wouldn't make another angry/sad/upset.

Perhaps it has a bit to do with my feelings on MCs and me feeling everybody is the same as I. I've had 3 and while very upsetting and making any pregnancy after that not feel "secured", I wasn't at the point where I feared to read and or support anothers loss -but that's me.

I guess it would be hypocritical of me to think that it's okay to unexpectedly throw a MC story to person while I feel it's unfair to have a picture of a deceased baby unexpectedly presented to me... on the message boards or in the newspaper (I deliver and the pictures of the dead in the tsunami was terrible and unavoidable). To some, I bet my issues of not wanting to see their deceased baby bothers them... so on and so forth I suppose.
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Old 04-25-2005, 09:09 AM
SKMagnificent
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southwestern U.S.
Posts: 1,163
Default Re: PG/MC Mentioned

I understand your point. I think everyone reacts differently to loss. I am a worrywart to start with. So after two losses I was a wreck. One example of the above is that I was sitting there nursing my newborn son (Isaac) and watching the news. The little ticker scrolling across the bottom of the screen said something about moms who had sections the first time were more likely to have a stillbirth the next time. I was already freaked over the thought of losing my pg with dd and someone at work had a stillborn b aby when I was pg with her, so I really think had I had to read that during my pg with dd, I would have had a nervous breakdown. Not having sore boobs was enough to send me into a hysterical crying fit. If I saw a mc thread title, I would type my condolences without reading. Something general that showed my sorrow and support.
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Old 04-25-2005, 06:51 PM
SimLady Hostess
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: LaLa Land
Posts: 6,368
Default Re: PG/MC Mentioned

I get very tired of seeing X-Posted Everywhere!! Okay fine. Who cares?! If you title it the same on both boards, then I think people who frequent both boards are intelligent enough to figure out that you posted the same thing on different boards.

I admit after my first loss I was devastated and it was very hard for me on the June board as that is when all of a sudden we had a huge explosion of Junies being pregnant and it really got to me reading all of their stories, especially when I went through a phase of not being able to conceive. However I would never begrudge anyone talking about what was going on in their lives and their excitement and wanting to share. So I just took some time off from the boards.

As for m/c, well there was a big hoopla over at another board that I missed, but apparantly someone posted that she was tired of reading about other womens m/c or their past m/c and that women who have had m/c obviously have things wrong with them and should only post on special boards just for them and should not post on boards with regular and normal expectant mothers, and if someone has a m/c they should just quietly leave. Talk about being an asshat.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old 04-25-2005, 07:03 PM
SKObsessed
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 3,751
Default Re: PG/MC Mentioned

she was tired of reading about other womens m/c or their past m/c and that women who have had m/c obviously have things wrong with them and should only post on special boards just for them and should not post on boards with regular and normal expectant mothers
That's insane! I wish I had lurked on that thread and watched ladies rip her a new asswhole for that comment, lol.

Imagine if we all put notices of our MCs in our signatures. I bet almost 50% would have at least one.
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