Ok so usually I dont tell my problems I keep them bottled up inside but ill make an acception.

First of all YES I was being stupid and nieve but I still dont know what to think.

So i have this ex - and he lives in a bad part of town, well he's done some bad stuff and so I've stayed away from him for almost 6 months now. But just about 4 days ago or somthing he called my friend and then she told me (becuz he didnt have my number) So I called im to find out what he wanted.

He told me had some of trents baby pictures ( which I wanted becuz we lived together and the landlord (which was his aunt - go figure) kicked us out and threw all my sh*t on the street! Needless to say I was pissed. But what could I do? So whatever, well he told me he cleaned the house out and had my stuff and for me to come get it.

Well I went once and he said it was with his sis and he couldnt get it tonight that he would tomorrow (today) So I told my friend about that.

But I didnt tell her about tonight becuz I knew she would be pissed but I wanted my pictures. So I guess call me gullable, crazy, stupid even but I decided to go tonight. Well I went and I got robbed. A guy pointed a gun to my head for money - luckly I had nothing but 10$ becuz I didnt take my purse with me and he can have that if he wants it its not worth my life.

So I just left without getting what I came for- I didnt have a chance really.

So I called her balling and told her what happened - and I know she would be pissed and angry and worried but I didnt know she would say she didnt trust me anymore. See Ive always kept everything to myself and If not Ive always had one friend I confide everything in and now our freindship is in jepardy becuz I was stupid.

So she says she doesnt trust me and that shes scared to be my friend becuz of what happened and that even tho he's not after her that shes scared for me and that I keep making stupid choices. Point taken. I totally agree but why wont she just trust that almost getting killed has definatly changed my way of thinking! I put my own self in danger and it was my own fault and I have noone to blame but myself but I am afraid to lose her as a friend.

I have no family and she IS my only friend. WHAT DO I DO????
The last thing she said is that she doesnt know what to say right now and she will talk to me later and thats it.
But what if she wont talk to me later?????

I'm so upset. I feel horrible. I cant change what happened. Do I leave her alone or write her a long email saying Im sorry or what?? I dont know what to do. I KNOW that I am not going to do something like that again but how can I make her trust me?



I dont have any support system besides her. She knows that shes my only true friend and I hate myself right now. I feel bad enuff . I dont know.......

Well thanks for listening.

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Tell me if I've missed something here.

1) you haven't had any contact with your ex for the last 6mo - meaning he doesn't know where to find you

2) your ex calls your friend, meaning he knows where to find her and she tells you

3) you call ex - he tells you to come get your ds's baby pics from him, 1st appointment he claims to not have them, 2nd appointment you get robbed at gunpoint - I imagine NOT by your ex (?)

4) your friend freaks on you because you went to the 2nd appointment without her ok (or so your post reads to me) and got robbed and she thinks that your EX might go after her? WTF?

If your ex wanted to go after her he wouldn't have much trouble since he already knows where she is, don't you think? Ok, maybe you should have insisted on him sending the package to Mail Boxes Etc or similar where you could go pick them up without having to see him or go into his seedy neighborhood, it would have been safer for you. But for your friend to insist that now she can't trust you seems really overboard imho. What doesn't she trust, that you won't be impulsive in the future? Why the heck didn't SHE suggest having the pics sent to you somewhere you could go pick them up, even paying the postage on retrieval? I think that even a PO will do that much. If you ex had refused to do it that way then I would guess that he just made the whole thing up.

I gather that if you left your ds's pics behind its because you had to get out with very light luggage, my heart goes out to you.

I honestly haven't any advice to give you on your relationship with your friend except to let her be for a day or two, maybe she just needs a chance to calm down some, if she said she'll get back to you then she probably will.
Let us know how you're doing, ok?

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Susan

- No i was not robbed by him - some random guy he thought he knew called us over and he told me to stop to see what the guy wanted thats when he robbed both of us.

- Its a long story leading up to why he knows where she is - he knows where I am too but I got my number changed and she didnt ( so he called her).
I told her I'm not going to talk to him after he didnt give them to me but since I said that the previous night (before I got robbed) she doesnt trust me.

I told him to just mail it to me but he said no I'm going out of town today and you need to come get it before I go.
(since I wasnt planning on keeping in touch and I just wanted my pictures, I thought that it would be fine. Just a quick thing and I wouldnt have to tell anyone, but that wasnt the case and I told her becuz I was scared and she flipped out.)

I plan on calling the police anyways to report it in that neighborhood.

Bottom line is she says she doesnt like me putting myself in danger all the time.

THe way my mind has operated since birth is to try and move on from things once they happen (which is why I thought it was ok to go get my stuff if I wasnt going to be in contact with him anymore. I didnt think anything would happen.)

I can be impulsive and I dont think before I act alot but, Ive learned from my mistake this time - I just dont think she beielives that.
And he probably was making it up but I just always have faith in people - even after everything - that they change for the better. I guess I cant think like that anymore... some people just dont ever change.

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oh - and so far Ive heard nothing from her.
She usually calls me when she wakes up everyday.

I sent her a text message apologizing last night but, I dont know.

If anything changes I'll let you know, but as of now...nothing.

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shes no longer my friend.

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Did she actually comunicate to you that she is no longer your friend? I'm very sorry this has happened, especially as you said that she is your only friend and you are without family. What happened should be a big signal to you that you absolutely must be more careful about what you do, you have a young son and no family to turn to if anything should happen to you - you are all Trent has got and he's your n.1 priority. Maybe if your friend sees that you really HAVE learned your lesson about this and have realised the consequences of any thoughlessness on your part could lead to very serious repercussions on your son, she just might relent in time and trust you again. I think you need to really demonstrate to her that you understand her fears and that you will never again willingly put yourself in danger that way. It will probably take some time, but things should work out with you both eventually, just try not to rush her maybe.

Take care of yourself and your son - he's a real cutie-pie, bet he's such a sweetheart too.

The best of luck to you both.

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Susan

Thanks but i think theres no saving the relationship.

I see where I was on her list of friends.
She doesnt even want to talk to me on the phone! Only thru email!! I was like "what are you afraid of...my voice?? Nothing will happen if we talk on the phone."
SHe doesnt care. She wasnt supportive and said alot of negitive things.

She sent me an email bashing everything about my life that she didnt approved of. I was like " why did you wait so long if you didnt approve of my life - why were you my friend then?"
She said I need to God and to go to church!! She doesnt even go to church!!! Who is she telling? omg...

So yeah after all the sh!t she said to me I dont think I will try. I tried already to be there but she thinks she's some angel and she's a hypocrite. When I was her "friend" she told me things she was ganna do - now that i'm not there she's gone back to " oh well, I'm just ganna wait or try later" UGH!

Like,why was I even there!? Its hard...its strange. I hung out with her all day every day and now its like nothing. Completely nothing. I dont understand how she can just cut me out of her life completly in one night.

It hurts me. It saddens me. But i cant do sh!t about it so what do you do?

I even wanted to end on a nice note - but no she didnt want that. I guess it made it easier if she was mad at me not to talk to me. I hope she has a nice life remembering how she THREW me out of life.
And she says shes hurting too - whatever! Spare me! Cry me a d@mn river!

I'm so hurt I cant explain it. where do I go from here. I guess Ill figure that out.

Trent is my TOP priority and has been so he will just get all the more love that I did have for her.

Thanks for being there for me AlexMommy. I apreciate it.

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Sounds to me like she's not truly a friend to begin with so not much of a loss if you ask me.

One thing I have learned in life is that friends come and go and you always find out who your true friends are when you've hit an all time low in your life, the true friends will still be there for you and the fake ones seem to just disappear.

I too have been robbed and beaten by gun point and it's extremely scary not to mention i'm lucky to still be alive, I don't think I would be too jazzed about having a friend turn their back on me after I was almost killed. Really, she did you a favor, you don't need people like that in your life and you will make new friends soon enough.

Concentrate on your son and forget her. Just my two cents.

Your right NovAngel.
I will move on - apparently she wasnt as good a friend.

ANyways - Im moving on and right now all I have are all of you great people to talk to.

So i'm still blessed - but here where I live, I do feel alone once again.
Its a bad feeling. But thats life - you take the good, the bad , and the ugly.

Thanks to yall for replying, I definalty needed your 2 cents.

I will survive.

P.s NovAngel - I love your siggy! I have a pic of spongebob, i dont know if you seen it or not but its got sum bad words so I wont post it. But its funny as hell.

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Really? I'm a SpongeBob addict can you PM it to me??

I hope you're feeling better today, also you can feel free to drop me a PM whenever you're feeling lonely.

I am so sorry you lost your friend. In the end, things usually turn out for the better -- easy to say, hard to live through.

Can you meet other moms? Maybe strike up a new friendship?

Sorry I just saw this today - yeah I want to make more friends, but Ive always met through people ya know.
I met her in school and knew her for awhile afterwards but I had a best friend before her.
Then when my other bestfriend tried to hook up with my now ex b/f behind my back, I went and leaned on her (this friend im talking bout) So I've never just made friends randomly....but I hope to someday.

Thanks for you kind words

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