So, I just don't know what to do anymore...... I was checking out myspace this a.m. and I usually check out dh space every once in a while....He has a new "friend." Some chick in Hawaii who is in the Coast Guard also. But, I have never heard of her or met her.....not that I remember anyway. So not the point though! Well, maybe part of the point.....anyway. I mean he has a couple of "friends" that are female but I have at one point met all of them or heard of them. They are people that he went to HS with or we knew in college. Most of the time.....and I say most of the time.....I am not a jealous person. However, when I get jealous (which doesn't happen often) I get really jealous!!!! I used to have a mean streak/short fuse!!! I have tamed it ALOT!!!
Anyway, the point is...... I feel like we are having some issues in our marriage....he really doesn't. One thing is sort of sex/intimacy. Well, not so much sex as the physical aspect leading up to, and I don't mean foreplay. I'm talking.....an out of the blue goose or a gentle touch for no reason. I cannot tell you the last time he touched me to make me feel sexy!! He says that if I wouldn't be on his case so much he would be "more in the mood!" Nowadays, he tries to blame his lack of "mood" on me being pg and he doesn't want to hurt me or the baby. Ok, to some degree. But, before I got pg he actually said once that maybe "he has a problem and should see a dr." and he thought that maybe that was why I wasn't getting pg. (We ttc for 1 1/2 before first conception).... before that it was because I was always on his case and bitching at him. This issue has actually come up in arguments for the last couple of years. Once I even suggested that we see a marriage counselor (still want to) and up until it was time to call and schedule a meeting he was ok with it and then all of a sudden he didn't want to anymore. (this is before I got pg) Right before I found out I was pg I told him that I didn't want to ttc anymore and was thinking about taking a "vacation" w/out him when our son was out for Christmas. Well, 1 wk later guess what I found out!!! I was exstatic for sure!! We ttc for 2 yrs by then, but I was also a little concerned considering the circumstances between us. Add into the fact that over the last 2 years I have slowly lost my best friend because I "complained about my job, etc.....too much" After a couple of vents to him about it and him saying.....and I am serious!!!......."I am tired of hearing you complain about your job, if it is that bad just quit!!" (Thanks for the support when I am having a bad day, Honey!) I just gave up on trying to talk to him about it. Well......back to the present that same attitude has also settled into our life. I can't talk to him anymore! If I disagree with him on anything he just blows up!! Meanwhile, I am 6wks from having this baby and all I can think about is how I feel stuck, I am 13 hrs from my family, don't have any money to support myself, the baby and my oldest son. (he is very controlling w/money...another story for another time)
Well, now that I have written a book......Sorry for such a long vent. But I just don't know what to do anymore. Bring up the marriage counselor again? Yeah right!! The thing that keeps running through my mind is......is this worth running away and ruining something that could eventually get better? Well, I think I vented enough for one day......

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Jessica

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time I hope things get better for you. I just wanted to offer you some support. I can only imagine how tough it is to be pregnant and to have all this stuff to worry about too

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Tabitha and Eric
Married since July 29, 2004
TTC #1 since October, 2005

Finally pregnant with number 1 after IUI. Due 8/28/08.

It sounds like a marriage counselor would be a great thing right now.
Maybe you could start going alone, and then have DH join you later?
Good luck I am so sorry things are so stressful right now.
S