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Can't stop crying...
This is a discussion on Can't stop crying... within the Vents and Rants forums, part of the Say Anything category; I just found out my husband of 5 1/2 years cheated on me approx 5 months ago and now ...
I just found out my husband of 5 1/2 years cheated on me approx 5 months ago and now I can't stop crying. We've been dating for 11 years and have 3 children (10, 4 and 18 months). I know a lot of couples that have had problems with affairs but it was just one of those things I didn't expect to happen to me. Naive I guess. He claims it was a horrible mistake and he hasn't told me because he knew I would want a divorce. He wants me to give him another chance but I have no idea how to start. There's no one I can talk to. I have no idea what to do. Not necessarily looking for advice just need to say something.
I'm so sorry dear. I understand the pain. DH finally told me of an affair 2 months after our first ds was born.
My heart is breaking for you.
If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me.
It is so upsetting! I am so sorry for you. Been there and done that. I was married 4 times all before age 30. Then finally got some sense and I am 50 and divorced. I decided after that last one that my relationship was no longer important. If he came back and could prove himself worthy of trust I might have taken the last man back but he never did. What was important was for me to stand up straight, get a grip and plunge myself into my children. They were what was important and my crying would not do them a lick of good. They would now need both a mother and a father and someone strong. If a man cannot resist temptation he is not strong enough to be a father anyway.
I had every man ever in my life cheat while I never did. To me that proved I was stronger than them. I did get antidepressant treatment once but I got over that quick. The mind over matter really does work. In the song...I am woman hear me ROAR!!!!! really does work.
Decide what your children's interests are. Mine liked Band, scouts, piano, voice and so forth. I found myself too busy to stop and cry. Then there was the money. I went to court and got my child support and worked a full time job as well. Between working, ushering my kids to their activities, housework, pets and gardening and drawing up a budget so I could give my kids the best education I was way too busy to cry. Every time I slipped back a little and was about to cry one of my kids would walk in and want to talk or help with homework or a project.
I had to be strong for them. As they grew up and moved on with their lives I now have my gardening, pets and still housework as I now have grandkids to look after. Life is worth it and can be rewarding. Never dwell on the negatives. We only get stronger with life's little downs and not ups. Believe me he will be the one that later looks back at what a strong woman he left and he will be the one that cries. CC
I am so sorry that happened to you. I am 51 and in my 4th marriage this time to a man who hates cheating as much as I do. We have been married 11 years and I completely trust him. I had that happen to me (cheating spouse) with the father of my children, my 2nd husband. It was right after my youngest was born. We stuck it out for three more years but eventually we split. Seven years, the longest I made it up til this marriage. It was better for all concerned that we went our separate ways but that is not to say that you will not be able to work things out. Many couples have come through a crisis like this and been able to go on to a solid life together. Look at Bill and Hillary Clinton! He got busted in a very public way, but they have stayed together and have a strong relationship. If that is what you want you can have that too. I agree with the earlier post that advised you to seek out marriage counseling. It will really help you with a lot of issues that you might be having. Let us know if we can help.
I'm very sorry!! I know I would feel devestated and I wouldn't know how to look at my husband if he did that. You have to ask yourself; do you want to stay with him after he cheated on you? Do you think you could ever look at him the same again? Do you think you could ever trust him around other women again? I would suggest marriage counseling if you are going to give him a 2nd try or try talking to him.
I'm still around. Tried working things out but I really don't think it's going to work out. I believe he has cut all ties to her but she keeps calling and texting him. He's even changed his phone number and she gets it from other people. Every time I feel like we're doing good she sends something else and I just get upset again. Just wish she would leave us be. Maybe then I could find out if this is going to work out.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts.
Can't stop crying...
