I called my OB/GYN to see about getting a fertility evaluation or whatever. My partner and I have tried 3x to conceive with no results. We're not doing it at a clinic - we're doing it at home with a known donor. The nurse talked to me like I was crazy! She told me I should probably go to the clinic where I'm doing the inseminations and ask THEM to test me.....well, DUH! I would have done that if I was inseminating at a clinic. When I explained to her thst we're not using a clinic, it seemed like she couldn't comprehend how we'd ever thought doing it at home would even work. I felt stupid and angry and sad and frustrated all at the same time. The nurse said she'd have to "talk to the doctor" in light of this new information....WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL??? Is there something I don't know? Can I not just ask my OB/GYN to test me...geeez!

I already know that there doesn't seem to by ANY doctor in Dallas who is "lesbian" friendly...most of them will only inseminate a married couple and those that do not require marriage will not assist same-sex couples! I WILL NOT lie about myself and my wife to appease the masses.

Does anyone know an OB/GYN in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area who is sensitive to lesbian want-to-be moms? ***SIGH***

Thanks to anyone who read this.

Lucy and Terri

Just to let you know..most couples have a 25% chance of getting PG every month and it can take up to a year....
Are you charting? going by fertility signs etc etc?

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Sue Mom 2 KK (12/17/98)
TTC # 2 cycle # 21
new Donor this time

I'm not sure if this will help, but sometimes you need to just approach things from a different angle. I was getting some hassles as well with my gyn. So i went to my regular dr., said i was trying to get my cycles regulated, and would they check to see if my hormones were at the right levels. You'll probably need to ask about the fact that there should be hormone checks at least 2 times in the cycle. In the follicular stage, and in the luteal phase. This will at least be a place to start. Also, if/when you want to see a dr. about this stuff, don't go into detail about any of it with the nurse, until after you see the dr.

Sorry if i scared you with any of this. I've just had a few bad experiences with medical people when i actually start out by telling them more than was necessary.

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I'm sorry babyterluz. It can work at homE, and I'm so sorry they gave you a hard time!.

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Hi babyterluz. I know an OB/GYN in Texas, not sure if she's in your area or not. Go to Google and type in Renee Lockey. I went to college with her and we used to be friends (haven't talked to her in over 10 years). I bet she could help you out. She's a really fantastic person. I hope everything works out for you.

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Kim 38 The one getting knocked up

Inger 42 The one who's knocking me up

Cycle #1
Cycle #2

Lucy and Terri I'm sorry you are going through this. I can't help you but wanted to post as I understand how frustrated and upset you are, and wanted to share my story. Where I live, Victoria Australia, it is illegal for lesbians to TTC. For almost 4 years we were doing SI at home with no luck. ('The Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy & Birth' by K Toevs & S Brill was my "bible") I was also having weird cycles, so did get some gyno help and surgery regarding this, but of course no help with TTC! It wasn't until I finally saw a doctor at a gay/lesbian friendly practise, showed her my years of charting, that I was referred to an IVF clinic. Luckily for me a year prior the law had been challenged by a very brave single woman, and now IVF clinics no longer discriminate against ANY woman deemed "infertile" regardless of marital status (or sexuality). Which is how I came to have my precious IVF baby. Weird isn't it, that I could use IVF but couldn't get a doctor to do an unmedicated IUI?!!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I understand how you are feeling about the nurse's reaction. How utterly ridiculous that you can't easily get the assistance you require. I think it is a very good idea to check everything is in working order prior to TTC....no point in wasting precious time (and sperm resources!!) if there is something that needs attending to! And even though it can take many cycles to conceive, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get tested after only 3 cycles.

I wish you all the very best.....and I hope one of these days I read a BFP post from you!

oh btw, perhaps the back of the Toevs/Brill book has lesbian/TTC friendly doctor list in the back for your area, I remember there were lists, though obviously not relevant to me in Australia! Good luck

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Sorry you are so frustrated... I am a lucky do at home success story... so I know for a fact it can happen... I would also suggest that you might try getting the tests necessary by your primary doctor. Your OB doesn't HAVE to be the one to do that. I did most of my tests with the primary and then when I got PG then I did the rest with the OB... so maybe if you feel more comfortable with the primary that might a good choice?? Get a physical, blood work... make sure everything is in working order... I would also suggest the same with your donor... have him get a sperm count from his Dr. It can be done.

I actually have the book that Jenn is talking about, it was great but I really loved Taking Charge of your Fertility... I will not stop talking about this book .

Don't lose hope yet... you have just begun! Keep posting! We are here for you!

Chloe

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