March Chatty Thread

[2moms2be]

Here's the new thread girls...

[ibcheryl]

Amigone and Robin - I am sorry. Do not give up. I know that it is really difficult to be positive....but try.

Not much going on with me. I am doing the lupron and expecting my period somewhere between Thursday and Saturday. I will then be taking estrogen to build the lining. The transfer will PROBABLY be March 21 or March 24.

[hematite153]

I went for u/s and bloodwork this morning. There were 11 follicles on my left ovary and 6 on my right that were all 10-17 mm, plus many more smaller ones. The resident said, "we'll keep stimming for a few days and get these to grow" but the clinic doctor said, "they won't grow, we'll only get the 5 biggest ones. So, we'll probably trigger you tomorrow or the day after."

I know that this is my experience with this doctor before. He is very pessimistic right up until the end and then he sounds all happy. I think he must have some idea that he doesn't want to get hopes up. But, it isn't nice to leave the clinic all depressed that I'd have 40 follicles growing, but do an egg retrieval when only 5 of them are ready.

Anyway, he scheduled me to come back tomorrow. So, hopefully I'll get another message from tomorrow's doctor. (Friday's had said that he didn't expect to trigger me until late this week.)

Anyway, we both left a bit depressed and I'm working to convince myself to ignore him.

[Amigone]

little bit of frustration... My trip leaves on the 2nd. I am supposed to ovulate on or around the 8th. I don't get home until the 9th.

I guess that's ok, missing another one At least I can party while I'm on the trip.

I told my donor jokingly that he could come over and masturbate if he still wanted to while I wasn't here. I got a snicker from that.

[hope2bmom]

I'm so sorry to all of the girls who got BFN this month (including me). Onto BFP's in March. Whaddya think?????

[2moms2be]

OK, that made me

[Tasha521]

Hey Ladies, sorry I know that I've been MIA lately but I had a few set backs it seems. I spoke with my insurance company again only to find out that the person that gave me the okay for IVF didn't know what she was talking about. Now I have been told that it's not an option right now and that I should find a new donor because the one that I have been using may be shooting blanks. It's funny how everyone says that as if it's the easiest thing in the world to do. I don't know about anyone else but I don't know a lot of men, especially not a lot of men that are willing to donate sperm on a regular basis. If we choose to go through a sperm bank that could become VERY expensive, but I guess some things are necessary. Don't know what my next move will be from this point. I am just stressed out thinking about it though.
Sorry for all of the BFNs ladies....I pray that there will be a lot of bunns in the oven in March as well.....

[ibcheryl]

Hematite - my RE would wait only until 6-7 were at least 15mm or bigger, then trigger. I always thought it was a waste too, but what do I know?

Amigone - sorry that you are going to miss this cycle

Nothing going on with me. Should start my period at the end of the week, then start the estrace with the lupron. I will have an u/s somewhere between days 10 and 14. I will have the transfer on day 18ish.

[hematite153]

Originally Posted by ibcheryl

Hematite - my RE would wait only until 6-7 were at least 15mm or bigger, then trigger. I always thought it was a waste too, but what do I know?

Well, today's doctor thought we should wait another day (possibly two) since I had 18 that were 11mm or larger as of today. But, he did agree with yesterday's doctor in that he said if they don't get there by then we'll go with the bigger ones only. They'd like them to get larger than 15mm, but, once they hit 13mm they might be mature. So, fingers crossed!

Good luck starting on your drug regimen to get ready for ET.

[S&S]

Hi ladies I am starting to catch up looks like everyone is in the same boat.

well my frustration...I went in on day 9 and saw the Re not the nurse he did my scan real quick and said nope you have nothing maybe a couple small one's on the right. plus my estrogen was rising very slow. so I go back 3 days later ( yesterday) and i have a 13 on my left! I said wow how did he miss that I also had 2 10's on my right. so i cried all day for nothing. i was mad for what i pay $189. for just the office visit, i was ushered through like cattle and he missed a large follicle. anyway i have been doing injections of Bravelle everyday and also having accupunctre everyday. Also when my sister came to pick up my nephew she brought an entorage of drama and I wound up with a broken finger trying to hold dp back!!! on top of all of this i have another cold, i live in Florida for petes sake. well thats it for me i should go in for my 12th IUI thursday & Friday hopefully 2 this time. I go in tomorrow for a check.

hang in there ladies, one of us has got to get pregnant soon right? hopefully all of us this month

[ld&rwantababy]

Amigone and Robin- Sorry about the BFN's. Amigone- have fun partying on your cruise!!!

Hematite- Good luck with this cycle. I'm praying that all your little eggs grow big!!

Tasha- Sorry to hear about your troubles. The sperm problem is just not easily solved. We are now trying to decide whether to purchase sperm again (if we do we've decided to go with Xytex because of their fantastic guaranteebut they are very expensive!!) or to ask a friend to be a donor. How did you go about asking your donor? I'd love to use fresh sperm because I know that it is better than frozen but there are just so many health concerns using fresh sperm.

Shannon- I feel the same about my RE. I always feel like a number and not a patient or human being. It's scary considering the money we spend going to these professionals. I mean if I missed something like that in a case it would be malpractice city for me!!! I hope you feel better soon and that the drama with your sister mellows out. Good luck this cycle. I'm sending babydust your way!!!

Cheryl- Good luck with the transfer this cycle!!

Hope everyone has a great week!!

[NikJSD]

Hi,

I am brand new to the group and am so relieved to find so many wonderful women going through the same thing!! I have been searching for some kind of discussion - support group online.

I am 37yrs old and have always wanted to have children. I have been waiting for the "perfect" relationship to come along and feel like I have run out of time...

This is my second month of trying to get pregnant.

Last month I picked up a vial from a sperm bank and defrosted it at home. That was agonizing. The waiting was the longest period of my life.

This month - my friends husband offered to be a live donor and in the last week I have insemminated every other day - tomorrow is my last donation for this cycle. ( For a total of 5 insemminations).

I am emotionally all over the map and today can't seem to stop crying.

I have been dating someone for 7 months and it has been rocky. she is somewhat supportive - but I feel she is resentful because we are not doing this "together".

I just feel so sad when I should be excited and hopeful that this might actually work - what is wrong with me???

[hematite153]

Tasha--I've been thinking about your "find another donor" issue. We had some discussions about trying to find someone who would donate fresh sperm. But, ended up deciding we didn't even have 1 male we would be comfortable approaching in that way, and we have lots of male friends--so I know exactly what you mean. Donor sperm is expensive and we've spent a lot of money on it.

Would it be an option to arrange a sperm analysis for your donor? That way you would either be able to prove that it's not about him, or know that you really do need to move to donor sperm. (I don't know how much this would cost you since I'm pretty sure it's covered here, but, it might be cheaper than a pile of donor sperm.)

[NikJSD]

Hi All,


I started the roller coaster last tuesday and have been insemminating every other day - tonight was my last try this month. When should I expect to start testing???


Nik

[2moms2be]

Nik- I'm glad you found us here! Im sorry your current partner is not very supportive. Is it that she feels left out? Do you see yourself with her for the long run? Hope im not overstepping. You will find all the women here are very supportive.

Shannon- WOW it sounds like you are having a bad week. Sorry for the drama and I cant believe your RE missed that!!! I hated when I actually got the RE cause her would messure EVERY SINGLE ONE...It took forEVER! The nurse would measure the biggest ones then say "12 under 10..." if you have PCO and they measure everyone it cant take forever.

babydust to you all...

[2moms2be]

I would wait AT LEAST 10 days...and even then it could be false neg. I hope your wait goes by fast...the 2ww is the WORST!!!!

[Tasha521]

LD- I actually didn't ask the donor at all. DP works with his girlfriend and while DP was asking male coworkers his girlfriend offered his services. They have been together since high school and had no problem offerering medical history. They are kind of a hippie couple, very open minded and fun loving people. They aren't ready to have children just yet but thought it would be cool to be involved in something like this. Sometimes they come to the house together and sometimes he will come by himself. It got a lot more comfortable as the months went on though it's also VERY frustrating for all of us that it hasn't worked thus far. Sperm banks are just way too expensive right now. We just bought a house and are kind of still working out the difference between the bills for an apartment and the bills for a home (it's so much different). Don't know what we will do at this point....

Hermatite- thought about asking for a sperm analysis but we are pretty sure that it's him. I have been through all kinds of tests and there isn't a reason that I shouldn't be getting pregnant which is why the insurance company won't fund IVF. Finding a new donor is difficult for me. I am a germaphobe, I lost my mom to HIV and it's hard for me to accept any bodily fluids from other people(sorry for the TMI) It makes DP very upset that I am that way but until you watch someone die from it that's close to you, you tend to feel as if you are immune to it and that is how she acts. It's very easy for her to offer up MY body to anyone willing to give sperm but I don't think that she would be so willing if it were her body that had to go through all of this. Sperm is always a touchy subject in this house. All we can do is see what happens next.....

[hematite153]

Tasha--Believe me, I understand the "bodily fluids in my body" issue. One of the reasons we consider donor sperm worthwhile is the extra safety. In order to be available in the Canadian market (even from American sperm banks) donors have to test safe 6 months after every deposit was made in order for it to be used. (The American standard is to release all donations after the 2nd test at 6 months--i.e. including the one that's a month old. I've often wondered why American women would take that risk--of course you can get around it by only considering "Canadian compliant" donors.)

If you are almost certain that the problem is your donor, then a sperm analysis seems really useful. What if the SA says his numbers are fine? Then, your insurance company wouldn't be able to blame it on him anymore. Or, what if he's fine, but, you don't test him and switch to donor sperm. Then, a year from now, you'd be back in this same spot.

I have talked with women who moved onto IVF and found that they actually had a fertility problem that could only be diagnosed with IVF. I.e. extra hard cell membranes that require ICSI to penetrate, Care75 has talked about poor cytoplasm quality, etc. If you could prove it isn't him, then you'd know to look elsewhere.

Of course, you might prove that it is him, but, that could be useful information too.

For background: I am thinking about this from our perspective. We've been working on getting pregnant for 4 years and it is taking a serious toll. We started with my DW and then switched to me. Had we been smarter and started with me, without any intention of switching to my DW then we'd either have gotten pregnant or hit IVF sooner. It all makes me focus on how to avoid going in circles and wasting time.

Whatever you decide to do, I'll have my fingers crossed for you.

[NikJSD]

Thank you for being so kind! I'm not sure if I see this as a long run thing - I'd like to think so but we are nowhere near that point yet. She wants children but she wants to carry,so I think she is dissasociated from the thought of me doing it. She gets aggravated by me talking about possible symptons... so I try not to bring it up - but it's driving me nuts!

So I wait 10 days to test .... I want to justify 10 days from the first insem which was 7 days ago.... as opposed to 10 days from today!!! aaarrgh....

I was naseaus and weepy all day today - this happened to me last month too... I feel like I am losing my mind!

Does anyone have any advice on what they say or plan to say to their children about being born from a donor?

Nik

[Tasha521]

Nik- I guess everyone has their own way of explaining things to children. My way has always been "honesty is the best policy". As long as the child knows that he/she was wanted more than anything else in the world and was loved even before it was known that he/she was even a bean in your belly then I believe things will be fine. Children are always smarter than we give them credit for. I will say this, I would rather have to tell my child that he/she was conceived using a donor than to have to say I don't know where your father is...but that's just my opinion. Lots of children have fathers and still can't reach out and touch them. If you have one loving parent you are the most blessed person in the world and if you have two (no matter what gender) well I guess you should just be over the moon that those two people would give their own life to make the world a better place to grow up in.