Chatty thread

[2moms2be]

Here is the new thread for chatting...

[swell22]

I went to the doctor this morning and we are good to go this cycle! She upped my dose of clomid and I think we should do the IUI right around labor day, which is good for school, but bad for the family event. Oh well. They understand.

On the crabbier, bitter side......This new choir teacher that I now work with told me today that she is pregnant. It's her third and she was talking about how she was going to get her tubes tied after this one - so frustrating on my end. I'm happy for her, but why is it that everyone else in the world is having babies and I'm paying people thousands of dollars and I'm not!

Anyway, I felt crabby about it for awhile and then they sent us home early because Indy has a heat index of 110 today and over half of the schools in our district don't have air. I felt better then.

[2moms2be]

Glad you got to go home early! Sorry about the pg teacher! I know how you feel. I had to go to my best friend baby shower right before I started my IVF. It was TORCHURE. I love/ed her, but to see her with her big belly at 9 months while I was paying out the *ss for an IVF cy was really hard. (she is straight so it cost her NADA to get preggers!) And while I was there almost every person that came to the party had at least 2 kids or was pregnant!

[A Squared]

My sister got pregnant during my last injectable cycle before we moved to IVF. It was really hard to hear that since she had only tried once or twice and she had a 1 year old! I think it was harder still that she never, not once, asked about my IVF cycle. She's very religious and opposed us using a sperm donor and doing IVF. I think anyone who has struggle with IF knows how hard it is when someone else is pregnant.

[Care75]

Suellen- I am a teacher too (elementary gifted). When we were doing our IUIs, I had a principal who was soooo supportive. I was totally honest with him and told him I would be missing for monitoring, etc. I made early morning appointments and would come in late and he provided coverage. When I did my IVF cycle last November, my new principal wasn't quite as supportive. She made me take 1/2 days for appointments and I ended up missing like 5 or 6 days during that cycle. Luckily, my last FET cycle was during the summer, so that did help. I'm sure I'll have to take 1/2 days for my OB appointments though b/c I still have the same principal.

I also have had experience with lots of pregnant people at work. I had to stop eating in the lounge some days because the 8 pregnant teachers last year at one of my buildings would only talk about that!

I'm glad you're good to go this cycle. Good luck!

[swell22]

Thanks for all the stories about being upset at other's pregnancies. I know we all go through it - I guess I just never noticed the number of pregnant people in the world before. (And I guess I am at the age when I have several in my life!) Sigh.

I'm feeling really nervous about this cycle. At first I was really excited and was sure that this was going to be it. Now, I'm worried that I have some sort of infertility issue and that I'm never going to get pregnant (or at least not any time in the near future). This is all psychotic. Last cycle I was really calm (after the crazy running around for the ovidrel business was over). I haven't even had the IUI yet this time and I am just freaking out!

In addition to my craziness the stupid Clomid has been giving me headaches. I was fine the first time I was on it, but then the RE upped my dose and I have had headaches every day I have taken it this cycle. Today's was so bad that I slept on my desk during my prep, spent most of my lunch in the bathroom trying to puke (TMI sorry) and then cancelled our after school rehearsal because I just couldn't take it. How much fun is it to be a band director when you have a horrible headache?!

Okay, just wanted to check in. Hope things are well.

[sado0604]

Hey Suellen!- I wanted to tell you what you are feeling is completely normal especially when every one around you is pregnant! I got pregnant with my son on my 7th cycle of IUI so I want to tell you to hang there...I know it's easier said than done. Does your insurance cover anything in regards to fertility testing or anything like that? Mine I had to have 6 IUI's with no result to get coverage. I also live in Massachusetts and we have a great healthcare system so I happen to be very lucky!

Keep your head up!

[swell22]

Donna - thanks so much! I know that everything I am feeling is normal, but sometimes I just feel like a big, crazy freak! It doesn't help that DP is sooooo level headed about this. I'm an emotional wreck and she's uber calm. I guess that's good, but it makes me feel super crazy!

My insurance doesn't cover the IUI's. The one this weekend will only be my 3rd. I don't know if they will start to cover stuff if I try unsuccessfully a few more times. I live in Indiana and we have CRAPPY healthcare here. We have been saving for awhile and are okay right now, but I worry about how things might be in another 3 months. I want to have some money left for the actual baby! I guess I will worry about that then.

[2moms2be]

Suellen, Im so sorry about the headaches! ANd yep, everything you feel is normal, but it stll really sucks! I hope this is the cy you get pregnant so you dont have to go through the headaches any more.

[JesnKel]

Hey Suellen:

not only did I have jealousy of other pregnant women, but the IUI/Clomid thing made me crazy. I didn't have the headaches (so sorry you do) but I felt like my mind had been posessed by a fertility crazed monster. I couldn't think of much else and "calming down" seemed impossible. I got pg after a week's vacation in Cabo laying around the pool and drinking margaritas. Like Patty, I hope this ends quickly and easily for you so that you don't work yourself into the knot I worked myself into.

Oh and my insurance didn't cover IUIs either - just the meds and exams. We had some money saved but I had the same worry - I'd like to have some money for the actual baby. It's a valid concern. This year I'm taking advantage of my company's "health care reimbursement account." Basically they take money out of my paycecks before taxes that I can then submit invoices from medical costs for and have that account pay them. It will save me a couple grand because of the before taxes bit.

[swell22]

"A fertility crazed monster" - That sounds about right!

I'm trying to stay calm....well, I'm pretending to stay calm. That's about the best I can do for now. Yes, hopefully, this will all end very soon. Then I can start worrying about other things!

Thanks for making me feel normal ladies!

[Care75]

Also- Suellen-

Make sure to save all of your receipts from everything- meds, copays, procedures, mileage, sperm, etc. You can write everything off on your taxes. As long as you spend more than 7% (I think) of your income, you can write it off. This was somewhat helpful both the year I did the IUIs and the year I had the IVF. At least it's something!

And yes- I was TOTALLY jealous of anybody pregnant and never thought I would get here!

[S&S]

Hi Everyone
thanks so much for all your kind words, they really help! I went to see the endo yesterday and I love her!!!! she was so cool a younger hip DR..finally. she said my insulin problem is caused by my PCOS and prescribed metforin and gave me the go ahead to start ttc again. she said my weight & diet were fine, but I have to get one of those meters to check my blood periodically just to be safe, also on Mon. I had my thyroid checked again and they called and told me all levels were normal...so now my hokey story. We went last weekend to dinner with my fil for his b-day. afterwards they just had to go to bass pro shop which i slightly protested , (not my kind of store) anyway they were looking around & me & dp were at the jewlery counter and saw this cool think called a wish pearl, you get the oyster thing open it and get a pearl. it came in many colors that all meant something different, but you didn't know what you were getting until you opened it. well there was a peach colored pearl that meant good health, i said to dp wouldn't that be coll! so I picked one out we took it home.......and yes ladies I got a peach pearl!!!! hey I'll take what I can get right.


Hope everyone is doing well, Dp is taking me away to a resort & spa by the beach for a long weekend, we haven't had a vacation in 2 years, so she put her foot down and if forcing me to spend money!!

hope everyone has a good long weekend!

[sado0604]

S&S it sounds like the appointment w/ the Endo went better than expected! That's good news that your thryroid level was normal and it seems that the insulin issue can be controlled! That is great that you got the go ahead to start back up w/ the IUI's too!

I am so jealous, a vacation sounds wonderful! You know I have never been to a spa before but I bet it will be very relaxing and we could all use that! I have seen those pearls before down in Provincetown, that is so cool you got the one you wished for!

Have a great holiday weekend!

[2moms2be]

Shannon-What good news!!!! I am so happy for you. It sounds like everything is getting under control finally. Im glad your DP is making you take a vacation you two need a break!!! Have a great time!

[MaxMom]

Hi folks,

Shannon -- so glad to hear about your good medical news (and I'm sure that peach pearl WILL help!) I'll look forward to hearing about your IUI experience.

Suellen -- I had horrible, horrible headaches on Clomid as well. They felt very "chemical." It was strange. I'm a headachey person, so it didn't surprise me, but it was quite intense. The good thing was that they went away after a couple of days and I didn't get anymore on subsequent cycles. Hopefully you also won't get them next time.
I also have started (and not yet stopped) feeling pretty crazy. I've pretty much lost all hope that I'll ever be pregnant. I now think people don't actually "get pregnant." I feel like it's magic -- something I don't understand. And apparently there is no magic in my life.

I start back at work next week. There is a woman who is now about 7 or 8 months pregnant. I tried to avoid her last year when she had just announced it, but I doubt I'll be able to this year. I've been bummed out about not being preggers, so DP and I went out to breakfast this morning. Wouldn't you know it -- the place was crawling with newborns and toddlers. It was outrageous. Seems like everywhere I turn I see fate laughing at me.

I have another 4 days of 2ww. I'm not optimistic. I've had pretty sore bb's and some cramping, but that seems pretty common on progesterone. That's about it. No other symptoms and I'm just not "feeling it." I've already made an appointment with the RE to talk about further diagnostics, but this is the end of the road for me.

So instead, I've decided to adopt a puppy. A 10-week-old Pug. It's not a baby, but at least I'll have a little buddy to cuddle with and love.

Speaking of actually having money for the baby -- I've past the 13K mark for TTC!!! I doubt student loans were meant for this... and now I'm out of them. It's so discouraging not to have anything to show for it. Maybe when I move to MA next year I'll have good health insurance that will pay for TTC. Surprisingly, though, my insurance covers a pretty good amount now. I can't even think about how much more it would have been otherwise.

I'll keep you posted and let you know about HPT next week.

Happy long weekend,
Max

[swell22]

Hello Ladies,

Shannon- I am sooooo happy for you! It seems like just a few days ago, things seemed so far away and out of reach for you. It's crazy the roller coaster TTC puts you on! Glad it's finally on the upswing!

Max - I understand the feeling of hopelessness. Sometimes it just seems like there is no way this could ever happen to you. I really hope this is your cycle even though you aren't "feeling it."

On a happier note - a puppy! Soooo fun and cute! At the very least, he should be able to keep your mind off things for awhile.

I go in tomorrow for my follie check and hopefully the trigger. I'm REALLY nervous this cycle..... don't know why. It's almost worse than the first cycle. Last cycle I was super busy after the IUI's - running around, cleaning house, building a bookshelf with my dad, hosting my parents and sister. This time, I'm just gonna lay on the couch all day and watch "A Baby Story." Maybe that will bring me some luck!

Hope you are all having a fabulous long weekend. (I'm kind of loving the timing of my IUI's because that means I get to stay home Tuesday as well!)

[Care75]

Max- I hope this ends up being you're cycle. It stinks that this process is so cost prohibitive and that for lesbians we can't even try this whole process for free at all!

A puppy is a great thing. Walt is the result of failed IUI#5 with injectables. I told DP I wanted a puppy, and at that point she said "Whatever" since I was so crushed (she never really wanted a dog!). Now, part of me thinks maybe it was fate that it didn't work out at the time.

Suellen- Yay about triggering! That's fantastic news. You are so lucky that your clinic is open on the weekends. Mine never was and it was always a worry if we had issues with the weekend. I'm crossing everything for you for this cycle!!!

Shannon- I'm so glad you're back in the game. It sounds like you have a great team of doctors making sure that all is well with you!

[2moms2be]

Max- I really hope this is your cy. Im sorry you are feeling so hopeless.

BTW I think pugs are one of THE cutest puppies on the planet.

Suellen- Glad you are taking it easy this time! Enjoy your time on the couch!

[swell22]

WARNING: CRAZY TTC LESBIAN RAMBLINGS BELOW

I went to the dr. this morning. I have 3 follicles, but none of them are of mature size yet. The one would have been okay if we had triggered today, but the other two would not have. Of course, my regular nurse was not in because it is Sunday so I had this other nurse who knew nothing about what was going on with me. She was all ready to give me the trigger thinking that my cyst (oh yea, still there) was a mature follie. Luckily, I spoke up and asked her to go compare it to the measurements of my cyst. Bottom line - no trigger today. I go back in Tuesday.

For some reason, this is feeling like the end of the world today. Do you all know anything about follicle size? DP said she thought she saw the measurements as 14,10 and 11. Will the smaller ones get bigger over the next couple of days or will they just stay the same? (Are those even realistic measurements or was DP looking at something else on the screen?) What's a good size? I feel like whenever anything doesn't go as I have prepared for it in my head, I just break down. That's craziness. Usually (in all other aspects of my life) I can just roll with the punches. I'm freaked out about taking all this time off school. I'm hoping to get an IUI appointment in the afternoon, so maybe I can go after school???? How long after the trigger do you actually ovulate? Will it matter if I trigger in the am and then get the IUI the next afternoon? If I ovulate on Wednesday, that's day 16 - should I expect my period later or will it just shorten my LP and doesn't having a short LP affect my chances of becoming pregnant? These are all things I can ask when I go in Tuesday, but I am just having a meltdown here so the more info I can get now the better.

Okay, I just needed to freak out a bit (and really it's over nothing - everything is just delayed a couple days, I hope). Thanks for putting up with my craziness!