Ok, I have a question. This may be worrying a little ahead but I guess we can never be to prepared. I was inseminated by an donor from cyrobank. Until recently I always just thought when its time for the kid to ask questions I would explain you know they have two mommys and we had to use a donor because of the way children are created (man and woman) we wanted a child so badly to share our love with and that's how come we did what we did. So I thought this was pretty good explanation. We'll my friend is like no that's not enough, she is acting like when this talk comes up its the end of my world. She keeps telling me oh I so don't want to be in your position. She is also a lesbian with two children (ages 2 and 4) who she and her girlfriend adopted because they could not get pregnant.
Am I missing something here? I don't see why my situation is any different from hers? Can someone give me insight here?

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I think yours is a good explanantion. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to tell my kids. My neices who I live with are convinced that our known donor is visiting us to "Do a magic spell" to help us get a baby. They know we're lesbians, that we love each other like thier Mommy and Daddy do, and that there are mean people out there who won't let thier aunties get married.

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That is very sweet. (a magic spell)
I guess we can never be completely prepared we just need to provide lots of love!

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I think that is perfectly acceptable... and will probably tell my daughter the same thing once she starts figuring it out... but you know... you can be as simple as you want to at the beginning. I am sure you are aware, but there are many books out there about 2 dads and 2 moms. It might be good to get a few of those as well. So that he/she knows that there are other families just like theirs... and it sort of will do the explaining for you... one very popular one is Heather has Two Mommies. I wouldn't stress too much and though your friend things that her situation is less difficult to understand she will have her own explaining to do. Don't let her make you doubt that you will say the right thing!!

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We are planning on explaining that our donor wanted to give us the very special gift of a child since we couldn't do it on our own. The explanation will take different forms as Toby gets older and can understand on new levels. I don't think there is anything wrong with how you want to go about it - there is nothing different about your situation and your friend's adoption situation - either way, the child has two loving parents who just happened to need a little bit of assistance creating their family. I think things will flow naturally, don't let your friend scare you into thinking it has to be a big deal.

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Tracy,mama to Toby

we conceived KK with a known donor who has since moved away...She has a picture of her Daddy..
She told her teacher 2 weeks ago (they were talking about moms and dads)
that Sue(me) is her Mommy and that J (my partner )is her daddy but dont tell J that...
Too cute!

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Sue Mom 2 KK (12/17/98)
TTC # 2 cycle # 21
new Donor this time

Sue,
That is so cute!!!

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