Sorry I haven't had a chance to read through all the threads in this section, but I will. I'm having a hard time identifying the threads that apply to our situation.

My daughter is almost 35 months old. We got a potty chair for her when she was about 18 months. For a while, she would sit on it, but then she stopped. I didn't mention it for a long time. When she started waking up in the morning with a dry diaper about six months ago, I started asking her if she wanted to sit on the potty. No dice, but once again, I didn't push it.

A couple months ago, I put her big girl underwear on and told her she would need to use the potty if she was going to wear them. She had one accident, and that was it. However, she refuses to go pee on the potty. She will come ask to have a diaper put on, then she will pee into it, then take it off and put it in the trash, then put her underwear back on. If we are out or she is busy or she is at daycare (two days a week) she will hold it in until she is about screaming. At home, I see the signs and put the diaper on, but at daycare, I don't think they do and she is in misery by the time they get the diaper on.

Yesterday I took the potty out into the TV room, and I got her to sit on the it (with no diaper) for about 45 minutes, but she wouldn't pee. Finally, I put a diaper on her and she peed in the diaper, took it off, put it in the trash, and put her underwear back on.

The daycare teacher suggested I take the underwear away, and make her wear diapers all the time. She says she has never seen a child in 30 years of running her daycare having such a negative potty training experience!!!! Boy, that made me feel wonderful.

So I am trying that today, but DH doesn't like the idea of her not wearing her underwear. He thinks she feels better and she is staying cleaner and healthier (less diaper rash) with the underwear. The daycare teacher warns me she will probably get urinary tract infections from holding it if I let her wear the underwear.

Any thoughts? How old until she needs to go see a child psychologist?

I've already written too long a post, but I have to throw in that she has been holding her poo for about six months. I have to give her Miralax every day and when she finally can't hold it in anymore, she screams and cries while it comes out. She also cries and wants to hide under a blanket while she is holding it in. Sometimes if she is working hard at holding in the poo, she doesn't want to go out to playgroup or playdates, so we stay home.

Otherwise, she is a very bright, normal, happy, socially outgoing little girl.

I just don't want to make this into a big deal if it isn't necessary. She's not even three years old yet, so is it a big deal that she is choosing to control this part of her life?

Thanks for reading this whole post!!!!