We have an almost 3 year old boy, and we started potty training a few weeks ago. Pee is going fine, and he pooped in the potty a few times at first. But for the last 2 weeks he refuses to poop in the potty - he holds it in until nap time or bedtime and poops as soon as the diaper goes on. He gets really, really uncomfortable holding it in, but he refuses to go on the potty.

We've been working with him - encouraging him to stay on potty for a while, offering to pick from a bag of small presents if he goes, holding off on putting the diaper on - all not working.

We're getting worried that this has degenerated into a power struggle, and we're not sure how to get out of it. Our daycare lady feels strongly that we shouldn't go back to using diapers - she thinks that since we've started, we need to stick with it.

Any suggestions out there? Thanks

This is something you should really discuss with your Dr. not the daycare lady
in My honest opinion.
If he is not ready to poop train he is not ready to poop train.
Behavioral constipation can be common when potty training but it can also get extreme. My neigbor recently went through a stage with her son and he refused to poop PERIOD!!! that was with not pusing poop training and just letting him go when he wanted, he was totally trained otherwise, and 4 years old. He had to have numerous Xrays and would get impacted. He was on stool softners, Exlax and they had to do Enemas.
Yes it may be a power struggle, and sometimes you have to decide when it is worth pushing and when to wait it out a bit. I personally am in the mind that toilet training is pointless if the child is unwilling or not ready.
GOOD Luck I seriously hope that it is just a short phase and you are on the road to fully potty trained!

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We went through the same issues when DS was potty training. We eventually gave up diapers and for a while, even underwear. Everytime he had something covering his bottom, he'd poop in there instead. We had a few messes, but it only took a few days before he 'got it'. It took a while to work up to underwear, but it was better to have a naked butt running around than have to clean poop out of his underwear.

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Mom to Nicholas Mateo 9/1/01
& Gabriel Alexander 6/15/04