OK...I never found out with Jack....and honestly it gave me stress b/c I KNEW he was a boy...and I KNEW that I saw his penis at the US...and everyone said I was crazy! I desperately wanted a girl...and cried a lot knowing it wasn't going to happen. I am not sure if knowing would have improved that or not. However by the time I delivered...it was like I knew...I only brought a boy outfit to the hospital. The good news was that I was totally in love with him...never cried a tear over not having a girl...and happily embraced my Little Boy. (I still embrace him every day....a little too much. He's so darn cute!)

HOWEVER...this is most likely my last baby! I worry if Ifind out its a boy...I will cry over the lost dream of a girl the rest of my pg. Though I KNOW...I will fall in love just like I did with Jack and never look back.

BUT...what if I am wrong....what if I DON'T find out...and sob...AFTER the baby boy is born? I don't want that.

I flip flop every day on what the sex of this baby is...the first 6 weeks I WAS POSITIVE it was a girl....but my US showed a hb of 172...and Jack's was 168...so the HB is almost the same...so since the 9th week...I've been thinking boy.

What is your experience....what is your thoughts. You all know I will love a little boy...LIKE CRAZY....but its just that lost fantasy of a girl that will hurt. Is it better to hurt early on? Or wait until that little one is in your arms or post partum?

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Cookie's boys

I struggled with the same things with #2. I wanted a BOY so so so bad. I didn't want a girl EVER. I struggled over finding out. I was afraid I would cry for the remaining 20 weeks. I did decide that I would rather get over the shock then (I knew that is was a girl, but hadn't accepted it in my mind )

The u/s confrimed what I knew and I cried for three days. MY MIL took me shopping for pink and I started to adjust. I am in the same boat this time. I know this is my last baby and I want a boy so bad. I am going to find out for that reason, so i have time to adjust. I find it better for me. I love my girls dearly and wouldn't trade them for ANYTHING! I have dealt with a lot of guilt for crying... I know I would feel worse if I were crying when they were born I hope you can find some peace soon. Just know, you aren't alone in this struggle.

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Okay, 1st off, that was a very early u/s so that wasn't the true h/r. By 14wks, the h/r will change, it may still be high, but it may not. So, don't determine anything with that h/r that early...K?

I found out with Cian and I cried for 3 days straight. It did give me time to deal with it and I certainly was soooo in love the very 1st time I held him. I actually have a picture of me holding him I should dig up, I ws in love!

It really is up to you, you have to make the decision. I'm not going to find out because I found out with all my boys, including Aaron at 38wks. Since you waited last time, maybe doing it diffeent this time is the way to go. All up to you, Sweetie!

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Colleen

I only found out with Aidan, because I just had to know. I thought for sure he was a she. I will tell just from my experience, it totally soured the rest of my pregnancy. I being pregnant, and it just ruined it for me. Partly because, yes he was a boy, and partly because I am a traditionalist when it comes to waiting for delivery.

If you really want my opinion, I think you should wait for a few reasons:

1. You said you waited with Jack, knowing in your it was a boy. You were worried you would be upset, but when you saw his little face your just melted. What makes you think it will be different this time? It won't. You'll love your baby regardless of a penis or lack there of.

2. Just think how totally awesome it would be to NOT find out, and delay the ultimate surprise at the birth? "IT'S A GIRL" is a phrase that would be so sweet to hear at delivery.

3. Will having 20 weeks to "get over" the fact that this may be a boy help you cope? I don't know, it's different for everyone. I think you are prepared either way. Why not let your dream of pink live another 20 weeks, and thoroughly enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Isn't that what puts a lot of joy in pregnancy -- the anticipation of finally getting to know what you are having (and not just for the first 20 weeks).

Well, girl, YOU ASKED! And I told you!

All I can say is...you guys are the best. What honest heartfelt advice!

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Cookie's boys

I have to agree with Erin. When I found out that Elijah was a boy, I spent the rest of my pregnancy in tears.(actually, I was hysterical) I look back now and think about all the time I wasted when I had this wonderful little man waiting for me to hold him. I am so glad(now) that he was not a girl. I really wanted to find out with this one, but after talking(alot) with my DH we both agreed that if this was a boy, it would ruin the rest of my pregnancy. I really feel this is my little girl, but if I'm wrong at least I had my "daughter" for nine months, even if it was just in my head. Also considering this is probably going to be my last, I would like to have that one delivery surprise. I have to be honest though... I really wish I had at least gotten a little peek.

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You are all amazingly strong for being able to wait! I could never do it! I'm just not that strong and I'm way to impatient. I remember with my last pregnancy that I miscarried when I found out I was pregnant I knew I wouldn't be able to find out the sex until July and it seemed like an eternity to me !

I couldn't stand not knowing, personally. I would obsess over it until I went mad. I know, just as with my boys, if I have another I will feel some disappointment and shed a few tears but I'll get over it within a couple of days and be okay from there on.

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Cookie,

I know that what ever you decide will be the right decision, I can't believe your 12 weeks already and getting the heartbeat, how comforting.

I always found out, I had to have any and all information available. For me I dealt with boy #3 in private, I don't think anyone really knew my disappointment and by the time he got here I knew and had accepted his gender. However, I don't know what it's like to not know, maybe the excitement of holding that perfect baby out weighs the disappointment in not getting your desired gender. Part of me thinks the hoping for 40 weeks would be harder than accepting (at 15 weeks in my case). Who knows, but what we all know is that we wouldn't trade our gender opposites for the world.

Goodluck,

Jillian

I had the same struggles. We did find out the sex with our first, but not until 28 weeks. I really, really wanted a boy and was overjoyed when we found out that's what he was!

This one is likely our last child so I was hoping for a girl. For me personally, I'd rather have time to "get used to" the disappointment than find out at delivery. I didn't want my first thoughts of my new baby to be negative in any way. Although like you, I'm going to him from the start, I just know it.

It's a little hard to mourn the loss of having my very own baby girl, but again, I'd rather do it now than when I'm a hormonal, exhausted, train wreck right after delivery. Having 20 weeks to get used to the idea of another boy has really helped me get excited. I got to sort out all my son's old clothes and arrange them in the drawers, and shop for those special brand-new items. I can't wait to see the little chambray onesie with a firetruck on him that MIL gave us as a gift.

Also, I'm a very impatient person and I knew I couldn't resist the temptation to find out. I went into my 20 week u/s not set one way or the other on finding out, but when the tech asked if I wanted to know, I just couldn't help myself. I wasn't nearly as disappointed as I thought I'd be because in my mind, I already "knew" he was a boy. My pregnancy had been very similar to my first, and I think to avoid the letdown, I counted on another boy. And I was right!

So if it were me, I'd be finding out. Good luck with whatever you decide!

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I'm a lot like Allison on this - I have to know. (BTW - Allison, my 4 year old has that same adorable shirt from Old Navy!)

I like knowing because I can prepare emotionally. With Benjamin, I cried after the u/s, but I didn't obsess too long. I got excited b/c my boys got excited.

We plan to have one more child, and will let it happen whenever I am fertile again which is not likely to be for quite awhile. (I don't get AF while nursing unless the baby nurses less than 3-4 times a day - 17 months PP with my last one!) After all the planning and charting, I want to forget temping and "attempting" and just go with prayer as my GD method and put the decision in God's hands which is where it really has been all along. I'm not sure if I will find out gender for the last one b/c I am already trying to condition my brain to assume BOY. If I go into it thinking boy and okay with that, then no matter what gender I get, I should be happy.

At least that's my theory.

Sorry for hijacking your post...if you are afraid of how you would react to a boy at delivery, find out.

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Some random thoughts from the Silly White Cat and his humans


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Cookie,

Dont put too much into the HB.My first 3 boys were all in the 140's and with Conor he was in the 160's-170's. I though the was a girl too. Everything pointed to a girl but he is ALL boy.

I too was worried if I found out mid pg that I would be so disappointed. I think if I would have found out for sure I would have been ok with him being another boy, but I didnt see the picture on the u/s screen so I was always questioning if the u/s tech was wrong. When he was born, OMG I had chills and was totally in love with him and I didnt even see him yet (born via c-section and only heard his cry). It was one of the most emotional times I have ever had and I was so happy he was healthy and finally here. We bonded and we didnt even offically meet yet.

I know whichever you decide it will be the right decision for you. Just do what is in your heart and I know you will be fine. Boy or Girl, this baby will melt your heart with unconditional love just like your adorable Jack

I'm behind you

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Karrilyn...

I TOTALLY thought about you...and I said to myself...I WANT TO SEE THE PICTURE...(I swore I saw a penis with Jack...but not being POSITIVE...drove me nuts!)

I think we are going to find out....and thankyou for reminding me of LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT...or in your case LOVE AT FIRST SOUND

(But I may not tell anyone IRL...because I don't want to hear "Oh well...your next one will be a girl." )

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Cookie's boys

Only about 6 more weeks to go, and then you'll know for sure.

You ARE gonna tell US, though right? .............

Erin...I will tell you guys b/c this is a sisterhood...of scientists

People on this site want and deserve to know what worked...what didn't. I am always dying to know people's attempts even if they don't work....(Keeps me in reality...that this is all for chance anyway!)

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Cookie's boys