I can't believe it's almost that time. I've put it off for so long and tried not to think about it and here it is one week away.

I leave for Seattle on Sunday. Early sunday. The kids know I'm going away again and that I have to see a doctor there, but they don't know the whole reason why. I don't want to worry them. It's hard enough as it is for all of us. Assuming all goes well, I'll only be gone for a week.

My mom will be flying out to meet me in Seattle on Sunday. DH and MIL will be at home watching the kids, getting them to and from school and other activities. So I know they are in good hands. As am I. It's nice to still have my mom there to watch over me. I'm a 35 yr old gal who is proud to have her mom by her side. hehe!

Anyway, for those that don't know, I have something called Cushings Disease. It's basically a tumor on my pituitary gland that causes all sorts of chaos. It’s not life threatening but causes all sorts of hormonal issues and messes with the whole body. It’s an excess of cortisol. It’s like I’m OD’ing on steroids basically. Except my body is doing it to itself. If affects:

my mind – I’m totally forgetful, lose train of thought easily, get the worst headaches

my skin – is so thin you can almost see through it; I have acne worse than I ever did as a teen; my stretch marks are pinkish/purple

my sleep - I have horrible insomnia and other times where I’m so tired I could nap wherever I am

my cycles – they are there, then the next month they aren’t. They are heavy they are light

my muscles – so incredibly weak at times, it hurts to walk up the stairs

my moods - I’m horribly cranky and moody at the switch of a button. Poor hubby & kids have taken such a brunt of it

my mental state – I have panic attacks and anxiety over the stupidest things. I know it’s irrational, but can’t stop it

My body in general – the weight gain around my middle and inability to lose weight anymore

My hair – is so thin and is falling out in clumps like it did after I gave birth!

I’m sure there’s more, but that’s the jist of it. It’s a crazy disease. Once they take the tumor out, I will be like someone going through withdrawl of drugs or alcohol. So that’s actually the worst part of this whole thing. They will take my “supply” away cold turkey and give it back to me orally – via prednisone and I’ll have to wean off of that. So it will be a long recovery.

I probably won't be on for awhile after the surgery. I'll be on bedrest for quite awhile, so once I get into a routine and can figure out how I'm feeling from hour to hour, I will be back on.

But until then, I'll take any prayers and good thoughts you have to spare.

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I'm so sorry you have to go through this. What a strong woman you are!

I will pray that everything goes well and the "cold turkies" after the surgery aren't too horrible.

Lots of good thoughts coming your way!

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Julie (31)
DH (33)

Can't wait to TTC#3 - August IVF here we come.

Oh honey! I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this but think how much better your life will be in the end!!!!!
I've got it on my calendar - I have the actual surgery for the 3rd right? So we'll be praying and praying for you!!!!

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Yep, the 3rd! *taking big deep breath* I know it's what I have to do to feel better in the long run, but I worry about feeling so icky and not being there for the kiddos.

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I cant even imagine how scared you must be! You will be in our thoughts and prayers.

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Patty 37
DW Julie 40
"domestically partnered" since 1994

Kim,
I'm sure the surgury is going to be a success and you will be back to your already awesome self in no time. You are definitely in my prayers.....take care

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Praying now and promising prayers later for you! Will someone be in phone contact with you to let us know good news after your surgery? I hate that this could be the last update we have for a month or so.

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Kim, ((HUGS)) to you!! Wishing you the best in the upcoming weeks!! Hopefully the "cold turkey" won't too bad. I will be thinking of you (the 3rd is DH's B-day, so I won't forget!), prayers on the way!!

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Deb proud momma to twins -- Brady & Hope 5/18/04

I've been lurking on here for a while, but this post made me come out of lurkdom--that and the fact that both babies are sleeping at the same time for once! Kim, Best of luck on your surgery and a speedy recovery. It sounds like a long difficult process, but I'm sure you will be so much better in the end that it will be worth it. I will be thinking of you.

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Alita, Host of Gay/Lesbian Pregnancy Board







IVF w/ ICSI #1
Retrieval 4/17
23 eggs, 16 mature, 13 fertilized, 4
Transfer cancelled due to OHSS

5/25/07 FET--transferred 2 grade 2 embryos
6/4/07 HPT (13 dpo)
6/5/07 Beta #1 (14 dpo) = 346

Kim - you will be in our thoughts and prayers...and you just focus on feeling better - the kiddos will be just fine, and years from now - while you will remember the surgery and everything else - the kids will still remember it as they year they went to Disney! you take care!

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Helen

Daniel Graham and Thomas Joseph... born 7-7-06

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Thanks guys!! Your support, prayers and well wishes mean so much!!

I will try to have someone update you when they can. I won't leave ya hangin'.

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Hi, Kim

I didn't realize it was Cushings. My friend was just diagnosed with that. Reading through your symptoms she has many of those including the no sleeping and panic attacks. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Everything will be just fine.

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Good luck with your surgery. I hope that it all goes well for you and that you are feeling better soon.

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Praying that the surgery goes well and you're feeling better in no time. Best of luck!

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Carrie/Care75 (32)
DP- Suz (35)
Together 7 years!

TTC #1 since 04/05
9 home inseminations (5 with clomid)- BFN
6 injectable/IUI cycles- BFN
IVF November 2006- ET cancelled due to extensive fragmentation and poor development. Diagnosed with poor egg quality (poor cytoplasm)

DEFET- June 2007- 2 blasts transferred.
Beta #1 (6/22/07)- 65 (8dp5dt) !
Beta #2 (6/25/07)- 215 (11dp5dt)
Beta #3 (7/2/07)- 3904 (18dp5dt)

It's BOY/GIRL TWINS!!!

I am keeping you on the top of my prayer list!!! I hope they get it all and your recovery is uneventful!!

Praying for a cure!!

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You are in my prayers, I hope all goes well tomorrow. you are very strong and I know will come through this stronger. Here's to a speedy recovery!

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