Re

AirForceWife2007 · #1 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 12:15 PM

So I've been walking around like a zombie all day today. Maybe if I don't think about my period then it won't really be here? Nah, that's just crazy talk. Must move on.

So I woke up looking forward to the RE and dreading going both. I just woke up with a the feeling that when this is all said and over they are going to tell us that we are never be able to have children on our own. Maybe I'm channeling the fate of my DH's brothers but its a feeling I can't shake (darn AF hormones). It has me going bonkers today.

So I need to try to focus my energy.... what do I need to take with me? I'm planning on taking the Fertility Blend info so they can see what's in it. I'm also going to try to get our printer to work again... right now its playing russian roulette with my sanity and about to be tossed into the trash can.... but I have a crapload of charts so would taking them all be really redundant?

You all need to keep me sane here. I am trying to look on the bright side. I have my appointment, we'll find out one way or another what is going on but that darn pessimistic (sp?) side that comes out with the hormones is saying they are going to do much of what the other doctors I have been to have done. Nothing.

khickey · #2 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 12:17 PM

Only 3 more days until the RE try to stay sane!

trying4#1 · #3 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 12:25 PM

Keep your head up. Getting ready to face the truth is never easy. I'm praying you get great news and find there is an easy fix as to why you haven't gotten pregnant yet. Try to channel your energy into positive thoughts. And as Katrina would say, Keep the Faith!!

Tkeys · #4 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 12:32 PM

Kerry:

I'd take your charts, and the fertility blend info. I'd make sure you bring family history stuff for both of you (especially if DH doesn't come) because I had to fill out a ton of information on forms. I would make sure you bring a list of questions you want to ask, and I would put down questions both about you and DH, and express your concerns about the problems DH's brothers have. You'll probably want to ask about endo and PCOS and the glucose stuff and MFI. If you have test results, bring them, otherwise, bring a list of what tests you've had done and where so the dr can find them in your files. You may want questions about next steps . . . what tests they do, in what order, when, etc. If you think they are missing something, ask whether they will do a test or when (like the s/a). Remember to be your own advocate!

As for fearing that you will never have your own children - the bottom line is that it is what it is, and not knowing the answer doesn't change anything. Every month, you are devastated when you don't get that

- I promise you that knowing why makes it somehow easier to stomach. If the issue is MFI, in more than 95% of cases, they can do something about it. If you have 2 issues, they can treat them. If it turns out you really do have such severe MFI that you can't conceive on your own, then I would think it would still be better to know that - hoping and being disappointed month after month is worse. You can then move on and discuss your options and plan for your future. You will be a parent one day, however it happens, and once you know that path, you will accept it and be thrilled. And, if being pregnant is important to you, you do have options with donor sperm (I know some don't like the idea, but it is much less expensive than adoption, quicker, and you still can experience pregnancy). If DH could love a stranger's child and adopt him/her, he could certain love a child that is 1/2 yours, too.

Anyway - I do think it will be okay. And I don't know your DH's brother's situation, but they may have been told there weren't options, but never considered things like IVF w/ ICSI or TESE to get the sperm. It may not have been hopeless for them, just impossible to do it naturally. If your DH is in the same position, it may be there are options you can do if you are willing to consider them.

Don't give up! I know all too well that MFI isn't a sentence for no babies!!

mk9906 · #5 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by Tkeys

Don't give up! I know all too well that MFI isn't a sentence for no babies!!

That's right! We have one of the worst cases of MFI that you can possibly have and we still have a great chance to conceive a child of our own.

If you don't mind my asking, do you know what your BIL actual diagnosis is?

jaden222 · #6 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 01:44 PM

Good luck sweetie with your appointment. I hope after it is over it will give you renewed hope that you chance will come!!
I was told with my secondary infertility problems that I only had a 12% chance of ever conceiving on my own, and I thought i was never going to be able to conceive again. and even though it took 3 years, it did happen for me.
So i pray your time is coming!! Just don't give up!

AirForceWife2007 · #7 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by Tkeys

Kerry:

I'd take your charts, and the fertility blend info. I'd make sure you bring family history stuff for both of you (especially if DH doesn't come) because I had to fill out a ton of information on forms. I would make sure you bring a list of questions you want to ask, and I would put down questions both about you and DH, and express your concerns about the problems DH's brothers have. You'll probably want to ask about endo and PCOS and the glucose stuff and MFI. If you have test results, bring them, otherwise, bring a list of what tests you've had done and where so the dr can find them in your files. You may want questions about next steps . . . what tests they do, in what order, when, etc. If you think they are missing something, ask whether they will do a test or when (like the s/a). Remember to be your own advocate!

As for fearing that you will never have your own children - the bottom line is that it is what it is, and not knowing the answer doesn't change anything. Every month, you are devastated when you don't get that

- I promise you that knowing why makes it somehow easier to stomach. If the issue is MFI, in more than 95% of cases, they can do something about it. If you have 2 issues, they can treat them. If it turns out you really do have such severe MFI that you can't conceive on your own, then I would think it would still be better to know that - hoping and being disappointed month after month is worse. You can then move on and discuss your options and plan for your future. You will be a parent one day, however it happens, and once you know that path, you will accept it and be thrilled. And, if being pregnant is important to you, you do have options with donor sperm (I know some don't like the idea, but it is much less expensive than adoption, quicker, and you still can experience pregnancy). If DH could love a stranger's child and adopt him/her, he could certain love a child that is 1/2 yours, too.

Anyway - I do think it will be okay. And I don't know your DH's brother's situation, but they may have been told there weren't options, but never considered things like IVF w/ ICSI or TESE to get the sperm. It may not have been hopeless for them, just impossible to do it naturally. If your DH is in the same position, it may be there are options you can do if you are willing to consider them.

Don't give up! I know all too well that MFI isn't a sentence for no babies!!

Yeah I guess your right. I don't want to think about donor sperm at this point in time. That would be a hurdle we would have to stumble over when the time gets there.

Tkeys · #8 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by AirForceWife2007

That would be a hurdle we would have to stumble over when the time gets there.

Remember, Kerry, it is IF you get there - you may never have to think about that!