If your best friend or relative (ie, cousin, sister, brother etc... <someone close to you>) was getting married for the wrong reasons <anything other than abuse>, would you say something or keep your mouth shut??

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<---What the Dr. thinks.
<---What I think!

I have a big mouth so I'd have to say YES! If I am that close to the person and know the whole story, then it wouldn't be right for me to stay out of it. I'd at least give my opinion and share my concerns with them.

I would NOT however be the one that stands up and objects during the wedding! HA!

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I think it would be an injustice not to say something, but I would know going in that it probably won't change their decision at all. That's just how people are.

Another good question is, would you object at the actual wedding??? That one I don't know about. I don't think I have the balls for that. I don't have any balls normally. But I certainly wouldn't have enough balls for that.

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<long post, sorry>
Yes, add that...would you object at the wedding? Katrina, I think most people would need balls of steel to do that!!

So my answer is Yes, and I have before...but it cost me my friendship with one of my dearest friends. We no longer speak (she also lives 1500 miles away) and it's hard, but both of us are too stubborn to do anything about it. It's sad.

Here is the brief version: I've known her since 7th grade. There were 4 of us that were best friends. Two of us got married, she and another one weren't at the time. Now we're 30 years old, she starts dating a 20 year old. Problem #1. She's got her degree, he's working at the Gap. She's supporting him, he's partying, she's trying to relive her 20s. Anyway, he proposed, she said yes. We ALL thought she should just continue to date him and wait until he matures some, but no one would tell her. I finally knew if I didn't say something and at least share my opinion with my friend, she could make the biggest mistake of her life. So I did. It went over not so well. Anyway, so I was still in her wedding and I could tell there was hostility among the group but I just kept my mouth shut and tried to be happy for her. Well, after the wedding (which her parents spent a FORTUNE on...ie, the person who made her cake was the same person who did Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's wedding cake<---should have been a sign!>. Anyway, so I didn't hear from her for months afterwards. I finally hear from another friend and find out that she's PG. OK, things are going well for them....then I get baby pics and notice no DH in the pics. I ask my other friend and she tells me that they are getting divorced; it's only been a year after the wedding. She and her beautiful DD are living with her parents since she found out he was cheating on her when she was PG and it had been going on before. Can you believe that. I fought the urge to scream from the rooftops "I TOLD YOU SOOOOO", but I didn't. There was now a child involved and I didn't want to make the situation worse. Anyway, I hear she's doing well, but we still don't talk.

I asked this because now I have a 20 year old cousin who is getting married in July to a good kid, but they are kids. They both don't have any formal education, although he is going to a JC now. She doesn't work at all. They are both living with his parents and get this, are living there to save money for the wedding. FOR THE WEDDING?!?!? What about saving FOR YOU LIFE?!?!? Arrrgggghhhh Anyway, she's a selfish brat <i could go on for days about her>, doesn't have a clue what married life is like. I'm the eldest of all of the cousins and I'm wondering if I should say something to her too. My aunts have already tried, but it goes in one ear and out the other. She has her sights set on her 'big day' and that's it.

I don't think there is any talking to a 20 year old who is young and "in-love". Sometimes you just have to let them learn the mistakes themselves. Now, think I should send a wedding gift?? I'm thinking maybe a book called "Are you ready for Marriage".