How do I bring up to my Fiance that I'd like to TTC? He knows that I want a baby, and I know that at the moment we don't have the resources to care for one, but I'd like to start putting things into motion... like put money aside, figure out living arrangements, maybe get married a little sooner than we planned... This may sound childish, but if anybody has advice on how I should approach this, I'd really appreciate it!

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I don't think it's childish at all, but my best advice is to just tell him. It's kind of hard for me to comment because dh and I were both definitely on the same page with wanting children. I had to lay down the rules early in our marriage that I needed certain things to be in order (own a home, have dh in a stable, well-paying career, family close by, etc) before we could have a baby.

to the boards!!

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I DEFINATELY understand about getting our stuff in order before trying, I mean, I'm still in school and he wants to go back to college for his degree (he began working right out of high school), so this isn't a good time to be wanting a baby. We do know we want children one day though.

And you're right, I won't feel better about this until I actually mention it to him. I mean, I know we don't have the means to raise a child right now, and I'm NOT gonna go off BC just so I can get knocked up right away, I'm actually a lot smarter than that! I guess I'll just take it one day at a time and see what happens!

(Thanks for the welcome I really like it here!)

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Jessica. Aren't these boards great?

I think you are being very smart. There is nothing childish about wanting a baby before you are able to have one. Most of us probably did that. It's very responsible to want to get life in order first. But if you are wanting to get married sooner and put the plans into motion sooner then you should just sit your DF down and tell him.

I'd say he'll take you more seriously if you take that approach.

DH and I are on the same page now but we weren't always.

We got engaged and married very fast. We met, got engaged, and got married within 11 months! So we never had a time issue there But I would probably have started TTC right away if he wanted to. We were married for 8 months when we *thought* I somehow got pregnant on the pill. I was very shocked and scared, we both were.

The final verdict came in after about three days of waiting for my period which was late, I finally took a test. It was . And to my surprise DH was very disappointed. I guess it took the possibility of being pregnant to make him realize he was ready for this. I stopped BCP and we started the next month.

I hope it works out for you, and in the meantime, hang around, you'll learn so much and make great friends here!

Let us know how it goes.

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I agree, I dont think you are being childish at all! I have gone through a similar situation with my DP. We have been together for a while now, but are waiting to get married until we have fixed up our house and are where we want to be in our careers (in a year or two). TTC will come soon after. Even though we have the master plan, I still have the baby bug contstantly! It admit I get a little jealous of my friends who are already TTC! But I just look at it as we will be more prepared for when we do TTC and things will be easier. This decision can only be made by you and your fiance, and if you are ready, there is no reason that you shouldnt start now! I agree with the other girls to just talk to your DF about it.

And if you decide you do want to wait, I am right there with you, hanging out on the Prep To TTC board until then

Good luck in your decision!

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Maybe you start an open-ended discussion about children - wanting them one day, asking if he has thought about a timeline, saying that you want a plan in place, and want to start working towards that, and hoping that you can make it as soon as is reasonably possible, and want to feel like you are doing things towards achieving that goal. But I always try to start any kinds of discussions by saying "have you thought about . . . " or "what do you think about having a family" and then I share my thoughts/needs/wants. Often, DH says "I don't know" to things, but when I start asking more questions, sharing what I want, he will agree/disagree, think about it, comment, and get more involved.

Good luck!

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