New on this forum, and not sure anymore

LMaKenna · #1 (**permalink**) 07-10-2007, 08:49 AM

Hi Ladies,
I've been on the Over 35 forum for a few years, but just turned 40. Just looking around here has made me wonder. Are there only ladies here who are already mothers? Since i've reached 40 and still haven't had any babies, should i just throw in the towel and give up? It's been almost a year since i was last able to get pregnant. I just don't know how long i should keep hoping for something that maybe just isn't possible.

Remnlou · #2 (**permalink**) 07-10-2007, 08:58 AM

Over 40 mom here!! I just had one at 42. Just over a year ago (Jan 06) I was told I needed a hysderectomy (SP) and would NEVER have another child!! I fooled them all. I say stick it out. Find a Dr who is willing to stick it out with you. I get so angry when I read that women are 'forced' into making choices regarding their fertility because of a Drs. choice and not their own. Not knowing your story...have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility?? Great resource. Charting really helped me to know what was going on inside my body. Good Luck to you!!

ScorpiosThree · #3 (**permalink**) 07-10-2007, 10:18 AM

I had my DD at 10 days before 39 at I'll be 41 for this one, conceived 4mos after my 40th birthday. Hang in there!

momof12 · #4 (**permalink**) 07-10-2007, 01:03 PM

I agree with the PP's. I wouldn't give up yet, you're still young. When I was in the hospital having a NST with my last baby (who I had at 42) I asked the nurse how old the oldest mom they ever had was. She said it was a lady who had been told that she would never be able to have a child, but she conceived naturally at the age of 51 and delivered a healthy baby boy. So you've got quite a bit of time left Jess.

Best of luck to you.

richdi40 · #5 (**permalink**) 07-10-2007, 05:55 PM

I definately would not be giving up

. It is my 41st birthday today and I too, am feeling that it is not going to happen, even though I already have 5 beautiful children.

It has been 9 months since my D&C and I am feeling really discouraged as each month passes, but I know I wont be giving up just yet

.

I wish u the best and remember, there r alot of first time mums out there, that were >40

Babydust to u..........

mommajac · #6 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 10:55 AM

Hi Jess

Don't you dare give up. Check out the old stats and grads sticky above. We had one gal have conceive her 1st at 45.

LMaKenna · #7 (**permalink**) 08-04-2007, 12:55 PM

Thankyou for your encouragement. I think i may be making this my new home, since the over-35 board seems to have died. Most of the ladies still on there got pregnant, including the host, and it just stopped working except for the rare replies. Sigh. I don't feel like i fit in here either. I'm feeling really mopey, and having trouble getting past it.

I wrote this in another forum, but it seems to apply here too.

""Did anyone see the movie Mulan? When they're on top of the mountain, deserted by everyone except MuShu the mini-dragon and the cricket. After MuShu admits what he didn't tell Mulan, and why it's his fault, and then the cricket admits that it's not really a lucky cricket and starts crying it's head off. That's what i feel like right now, especially the alone-on-the-mountain part.

""

kristi · #8 (**permalink**) 08-04-2007, 05:39 PM

I am so sorry you feel you do not fit in here. This has been my home for 2 years now and they are a great support system. Even though I am prego, us pregos check in all the time to support our other sisters.

Just do not give up on your dreams!

ScorpiosThree · #9 (**permalink**) 08-04-2007, 06:09 PM

Infertility is a big pain in the tuchus, and add "advanced maternal age" to the mix and it can be downright depressing. You feel like you're running out of time and are racing against the clock to get pregnant, and each month when that

witch shows up it gets worse and worse. Then you get so depressed that nothing feels right. Nothing tastes right. Nothing is bright and shiny anymore. That's called dysphoria, the classic #1 symptom of depression. Depression is something I've been dealing with for most of my life (which is why I majored in psych in college

) and it can be tough. I hope I'm not out of line here, but it does sound like you have a classic case of it. Before I started fertility treatments the first time I was so down I had gained 30lbs, and didn't get off the couch except for necessary things. My OB put me back on my meds (I had stopped them thinking it would be better to not take them while TTCing) before he would start any fertility treatments.

Depression can be chronic, or it can be situational, meaning that a situation is making you depressed (death in the family, divorce, infertility, etc.). Biochemically, situational depression is exactly the same as chronic depression, and responds to the same treatments, be it talk therapy or meds.

Again, I sincerely apologize if you feel I'm out of line

mommajac · #10 (**permalink**) 08-05-2007, 01:29 PM

I'm sorry you're feeling out of place. We all feel lonely lots. Persistence is key. Don't give up on your dream.

LMaKenna · #11 (**permalink**) 08-05-2007, 05:04 PM

Kara,
You're not out of line. I have been dealing with depression in the past, and take medication, but...... that's not going to change the situation causing my unhappiness. Sigh. And i know stressing out about it only makes it less likely to happen. It's just really hard to not be. I've been trying for 4 years, and all i have to show for it are 3 m/c's. Sorry, i'm being mopey again. grrr.......

Well, ladies, toward the end of the week i'll probably do some testing, but i'm not feeling optimistic. :p

JennyMomofMany · #12 (**permalink**) 08-06-2007, 05:29 AM

You came to the right place. There are a lot of over 40 moms here. I had my daughter, age 3 when I was 39, had my tubes tied, then had them repaired, and then had my son Connor at 42. He is almost a year.
I know it can be discouraging, but you are not alone. You have to do what is best for you, but if you really want to keep trying, it is possible to have a baby over 40.
I just had an annual at my ob/gyn, she told me they just had a lady deliver at age 46.