Any updates for us???

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I saw my OB last week, and although everything was fine, he kind of set me back on my heels. We talked about CVS testing, and although he usually doesn't recommend it, he is supportive in my case. However, he told me that if I get a poor result, he was going to strongly encourage me to terminate as soon as possible, due to my severe toxemia with Ella. Trisomy babies put you at a much higher risk for pre-eclampsia, and his point was that I have a son to care for and need to really think about risking my own life for a baby with no chance of survival. What a great conversation, huh?

I talked to the Fetal Concerns staff this week, and I have an u/s scheduled at 9 weeks (never had that before) with the peri and we have penciled in the CVS for July 17th (10w 3d.) I'm 95% sure we'll go ahead with it, but I'm lying if I don't admit that I'm scared about the whole thing. I'll have the same dr. who did the placental biopsy (they call it that after 14 weeks) and he is highly recommended, but still. I'm afraid of the test, but I'm afraid not to test, and it makes me nervous to think about seeing the hospital's number on the caller id with the results.

I really hope all those people with easy conceptions and uncomplicated pregnancies/births get a chance to appreciate the gift they've been given at some point. It's not that I'm angry at anyone, it's just that it's hard to hear some people talk about preganancies and babies when they have no idea what the other side of the fence looks like, KWIM?

Anyway--how are you? Are you going to post in DIF?

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Love,
Julie
Mommy to
Brian, 12/25/02
Brady, 01/19/07
M/C, 01/04
Angel Baby Ella Lorine,
diagnosed Trisomy 13, born at 35 weeks, with us for six precious hours, 08/31/05

Ella's Website

I know what you mean. We'll be doing a CVS as well. We also need to know.

I know that a lot of anxiety will lead up to the test, BUT...I know your results will be fine. And you will be free to truly enjoy your pregnancy after that! Because you WILL know.

I may poke my head in at DIF but don't know if I will like it there. The last couple of times I had issues with the DI boards I was in. In both, I had people with handles that make some of us with IF kind of rage (one was "OopsTheCondomBroke".) Also, the drama got on my nerves a bit. I know it's mostly hormonal but still...and I don't always care to be around folks who are "Can you believe it! I'm 27 and only have 12 kids!! MY GOD!! I have to hurry if I want to have all 15 kids by the time I'm 30!!"

I have already started posting at the Loss Support sites though. They understand!! But I may try DIF for YOU!

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Oh, Julie....I am so sorry the innocense of pregnancy has been taken from you. In a sense, it seems like it's been taken from alot of us, but I can't even compare myself to you. I have no idea what you are going through or feeling.

I do know that you have one beautiful boy, and alot of people who really care about you. Let the light of their love shine on you and into your heart. You will be in all of our thoughts and prayers through this pregnancy.

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Thanks ladies--and Jo--I owe you a big congratulations! Will I be seeing you on DIF? I plan to post there some, but with also with some caution.

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Love,
Julie
Mommy to
Brian, 12/25/02
Brady, 01/19/07
M/C, 01/04
Angel Baby Ella Lorine,
diagnosed Trisomy 13, born at 35 weeks, with us for six precious hours, 08/31/05

Ella's Website

Right now I'm hiding in other peoples posts.

Part of me wants to bust out and introduce myself and celebrate this pregnancy with all my passion.

Another part has seen too much pettiness and it is hard to read some of the stuff...some people just don't get it (and I'm not faulting them, but it's still hard to read).

I'm with Dee...if you go, I'll go

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Hi Julie and Dee!

I am butting in here as your CVS cheerleading squad. I did it twice and would do it again in a heartbeat. The procedure is quick and relatively painless and you get to watch your little one (ones, Dee?) dance around on a screen the whole time...and the quick results are worth it.

It's incredibly stressful gearing up to it and the waiting is absolutely the worst, but once the results are in (and there is every reason to expect you will both receive great news) you will be free to rejoice in your pregnancy as you so rightly deserve to do...and before it's half over!

I am rooting for you and feel very hopeful for you both!

Congrats again (and to you, too, Jo!)

Stephanie, 39

Julia Gray born August 26, 2005
Eva Renee born September 13, 2002

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Stephanie, 38
#2 due August 31, 2005
It's a Girl!



Eva Renee born September 13, 2002

Hey ladies,
As a two time survivor of the CVS test, I understand your angst and fear of the hospital caller id. Julie, youknow what happened to us and with Miles and the fear that CONSUMED me during my pregnancy with Mari. Because I had experienced two first trimester miscarriages before my angel, I had lost all innonence as well, so by the time I was pregnant with Mari, well, you can imagine my emotional state.

If I can offer some advise as one who is now "on the other side?" There is nothing you can do right now. I know that sounds lame, but really, it is in nature's hands right now. I use the word nature because God wants you to have a healthy baby. So, this is what my perinatologist said to me. "Susan, relax. What is, is." The odds are so very much in your favor of having a perfectly happy and healthy little one. With us, not only did we have the age factor, but the increased factor of NTDs. I had an estimated 2-7% chance (depends on whose data you read) of having another baby with an NTD, but flip that around - I had somewhere in the area of 95% of having a perfectly normal baby, which we all know I did.

I don't want to sound harsh and it is so very hard to type these words, but I wish I had listened to those around me when they said RELAX. Treat yourself to a pedicure or a manicure, get a book of laughs, go to a comedy show, giggle, but keep those happy emotions flowing.

In my business, I am often told that in our life, we always expect the worst. That is our way to deal with the 'what ifs." Well, imagine this: what if you are holding a new baby (say near 2/18 - my bday lol). If something horrible happens, deal with it then. Let yourself imagine the positives and enjoy.

Many, many, hugs. You guys know I love you.

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[center]
Mom to Clarise born 9/1/01
Mari born 9/16/05
Miles Angel - lost 8/21/04 - 20+ weeks gestation
Miscarriages - 6/03 and 9/03