Frustrated and Feeling Hopeless

sedonasunset · #1 (**permalink**) 02-02-2006, 07:53 AM

Hi Ladies!
I hope all is well with everyone. I've been MIA but feel the need to post. My husband and I are still TTC (since Oct 2004). I've been charting every month, had an HSG and a post-coital test. Hubby has had two sperm analyses. The doctor says my charts look great and all the tests look good, too. So why aren't we pregnant yet? It's so frustrating! I just turned 39 in January and feel as though my time is running out. I had hoped to be holding a baby by now. We have a consultation scheduled with the doctor for Feb 24th to talk about what's next. The nurse said most likely, she'll want to discuss doing a laparoscopy, which is typically the next procedure she performs. I've read about this procedure but am very uncomfortable with the idea of something being inserted into my abdomen. Can anyone reassure me that this procedure is safe and cause little pain? My heart is telling me to let God decide and have faith that our prayers will be answered. But it's not happening soon enough. The HSG did show that one of my tubes is slightly narrow, but the only concern the doctor had with that was the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy. And I have a slightly tilted uterus. Everything else checks out fine. So, does anyone have some encouraging words?

Dance0704 · #2 (**permalink**) 02-02-2006, 03:41 PM

I had unexplained IF, and after more than two years of trying, my RE did an exploratory lap. I got pg with my son the next cycle. I'm not saying there's a direct connection, but that's the way it happened. The procedure wasn't too bad. I had it done on a Wednesday, and I went back to work the following Monday afternoon. Wishing you tons of babydust!

staci · #3 (**permalink**) 02-02-2006, 04:30 PM

I have a tilted uterus (tips back) and I've had two healthy children. As far as the laparoscopy I haven't had one of those. Had the HSG and endometrial biopsy and those weren't too bad. After they go in and check you all out-some how they will have cleared out something and you'll find yourself pg right away...my hopes for you anyway!

(After my Hsg I got pg with my daughter!)

meadowgirl · #4 (**permalink**) 02-02-2006, 07:52 PM

I can understand your frustration, but would encourage you not to give up hope. The laproscopy is of course up to you, but I don't think it's too bad compared to other types of surgeries and procedures. (I'm thinking c-sections are pretty darn bad and women get those all the time to have a baby!)

If you are really sure that you've done everything and had lots of sex in the five days up to ovulation and nothing has happened, then given your age, I'd probably pursue all your options. Weight the risks and the benefits and then decide.

Good luck to you. I'm sorry you are experiencing this and hope you get that bfp very very soon.

BradsBoo · #5 (**permalink**) 02-03-2006, 09:29 AM

I don't have any advice but am praying for you and your dh.

(((hugs)))

KMS1219 · #6 (**permalink**) 02-03-2006, 09:45 AM

Just de-lurking to tell you my stories . . .

I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility after 3 years of trying. At the age of 36, I had an HSG done, laproscopy to remove a very large friboid, another HSG, a SHG and everything following my lap showed no problems. Still no baby. I finally turned to injectible drugs and IUIs and got preg my first try, only to lose the baby at 8 weeks to Trisomy 13. 3 months later I got pg again thanks to the help if injectibles and IUI and 9 months (via c-section) later gave birth to a healthy baby girl. 9 months later, I returned to my RE and did the "cocktail" again and am again pregnant.

There was never an explaination as to why I can't do it on my own -- all test show everything with DH and me are fine. I know inj/IUI is not the route some people choose to take -- it's up to each individual. Our desire to have children was great and therefore we choose to pursue all of our options.

As far as the pain from the lap, I found the first couple of days to be uncomfortable but no "painful."

Good Luck!

~Asana Mama~ · #7 (**permalink**) 02-03-2006, 10:14 AM

I too have a tilted (back) uterus. The OB I just went to told me he really doesn't like the term....it's as if being tilted is not normal when SO MANY women have a tilted uterus....he even joked that maybe OUR uterus was the right way and straight up was the wrong

jwdcreations · #8 (**permalink**) 02-04-2006, 09:03 AM

BTDT - I'll be 41 in April and know exactly how you feel. We decided after all the medical stuff up to 2 IUIs to focus on adoption. The stress of TTCing was too much. I got so stressed thinking about TTCing constantly (What week or day is this? What med or procedure do I need to schedule? etc...) that I couldn't function.

My DH's niece has a 'tilted' uterus and when she was wanting to get pg, she would lay on her tummy after bding. Worked for her - she has 3 kids! (She said for birth control she would stay on her back.)

Good luck!

onemuse · #9 (**permalink**) 02-07-2006, 07:42 AM

My best friend got pg. at 42 a cycle after her lap! I have heard that this happens a LOT. She didn't experience much pain at all. Just discomfort.

I had DD#2 after FOUR years of TTC and two different doctors sitting me down and telling me I could not ever get PG again with all my secondary IF problems and DHs morph and motility problems (we have an older DD). So don't EVER lose hope! Remember, God will hold your hand in this process and help bring you peace.

deeceetoo · #10 (**permalink**) 02-07-2006, 01:06 PM

Frustration is understandable but there is always hope.

The procedure is going to be fine. Here's a really good explanation as to what you can expect: http://www.ivf.com/laprscpy.html

I'll be 40 in June and understand what you mean about that wonder as to why it's not happening but it WILL happen.

sedonasunset · #11 (**permalink**) 02-13-2006, 08:29 AM

Thank you for the encouragement and prayers. I truly believe that God is in control and it will happen when He feels the time is right. I just don't have the patience! DH has told me that IVF is out of the question, if it came to that. He would rather look into adoption. While I think adoption is a wonderful choice, I don't know if I could be happy knowing that I didn't try absolutely everything to have a child of our own.

deeceetoo · #12 (**permalink**) 02-14-2006, 06:38 AM

Kathy,

What about a compromise? Would he be willing to do an embryo adoption or is that still too close to IVF?

sedonasunset · #13 (**permalink**) 02-14-2006, 08:14 AM

I never thought of embryo adoption... I'll have to look into it. I think he's reluctant to consider IVF because of the cost associated. He says we could adopt for the same amount of money and be guaranteed a child. With IVF, there's no guarantee that it will work. His thinking is "Why spend all this money trying to conceive when there's no guarantee that I'll ever get pregnant." I understand his point of view, but I have been pregnant before (17 yrs ago) and know what it feels like to carry and give birth to a child. I want that feeling again and want to do whatever I can to make it happen. I think we need to sit down and come to some sort of compromise. For instance, if I'm not pregnant by the end of this year after doing whatever we can, then we'll turn to adoption.

~Asana Mama~ · #14 (**permalink**) 02-14-2006, 11:04 AM

He says we could adopt for the same amount of money and be guaranteed a child.

Not be to a bubble burster...but this is not always the case. With the first child my sister adopted (or tried to) the mother changed her mind shortly after birth. My sister had already paid a very large amount of money for that adoption and she was just out of that money.

~Asana Mama~ · #15 (**permalink**) 02-14-2006, 11:16 AM

Wow, I didn't mean to sound so cold (seems like I was after I just reread).

My point was adoption is not actually a guarantee....maybe you could explain this to your husband.

I've never heard of embryo adoption...wow...that would pretty much be a guarantee, huh?

becka · #16 (**permalink**) 02-14-2006, 04:42 PM

Just another vote of confidence about the retro-verted uterus...mine is too, and I just delivered a healthy girl in June.