Hey girls!

I am new here. I want to introduce myself. I am 21 years old. My fiance && I have a gorgeous little girl together. She's just one. The reason I'm on here is for some advice && input. Plus I love helping people.

OK, here's some of the history. I got pregnant at 19. I had a horrible pregnancy. I had what is called Hyperemesis Gravidarium. I couldn't stop vomiting during the first 4 months of my pregnancy that I ended up being hospitalized most of the time. I went from 120 something pounds to 98 pounds in about a month. After the 4 months was up, everything calmed down but I still had some other problems here && there. I guess they're what you'd consider regular pregnancy problems. The sinus, the appetite changing constantly...things like that. So basically the worst part of my pregnancy was the first 4 months of it. I had a healthy baby girl. I had a horrible labor. I had an episitiomy done on me. They cut me 4 inches deep. I bleed a ton. Now I'm suffering from some embarrassing problems because of it. I tried suing the hospital but nothing came of it. There was no need for the procedure yet they did it && without telling me too.

My fiance is going to school to become an electrician. He graduates in September. If he's good enough he'll be placed into a job right then && there. Hopefully in a really big company. Electrician's can start anywhere between 15-20$ an hour. We're really praying on this. We're living on our own, technically, but my fiance && my father are going half on the rent. My parents live upstairs, my fiance && I live downstairs. We're left with 50 something dollars every OTHER week. I know, that sucks. Right now he's a security guard for CBS news making only 10 an hour. We make the rent but we have very little in our pockets afterwards. We're on foodstamps and WIC for the baby. Once he becomes an electrician we know they're gonna drop us but by that time he'll be making so much money that we won't NEED foodstamps && WIC anymore. If we have another baby they'll keep us on foodstamps && WIC won't deny me but I'm gonna breastfeed with the next one.

We wanna have another child, believe it or not. We feel we're ready for one. I have a few concerns though. So does my fiance. What if I get sick like that again? What would I do? I don't believe in abortion. I'm 100% against abortion. I'll never get one done. I'll have to suck it up && deal with the sickness. Sometimes I think I wanna become pregnant again because I felt I was cheated since I couldn't enjoy my pregnancy. I think the best time of pregnancy is when you're early && you're growing. Everything starts to change. I couldn't enjoy that. Not one bit. But inside I think I'm ready for another one for other reasons. Not just because of the pregnancy, because I know trying for another child just because of that is selfish && stupid. Since he'll be making more money in 3 1/2 months from now, && lets say I was to get pregnant NOW, we're gonna be just fine. We'll still have foodstamps which is a big help. Everything'll be the same. If I have a good pregnancy then I'll work too. I'll be more motivated to work.

The downfall of all of this is...I'm 21, I'm engaged && I already have a child. My father tends to get upset if he thinks I'ma have another baby. My mom lets me live my life...my father...doesn't. I guess he just worries. I also worry about my daughter. She's just a year old. Will this hurt her? Or? Does she need me? && what if I AM throwing up all the time? Who can take care of her? With my luck something like that WILL happen. I'm not being negative...just bad things happen to me a lot. How can I hold her when I'm pregnant? But how do other mothers do this?? I know a lot of mothers who children are only 8 months old && they're finding out their pregnant again. Sometimes I envy them because I DO want another baby. && I want everything to be different this time around too. Going back to the downfalls on this...we live in a one bedroom apartment. We gave our daughter the bedroom && we sleep in the living room on a futon. When the new baby arrives where will he/she sleep?? If we get another crib && put him/her in the same room as Noella (our daughter) wouldn't that be a bad thing? Like what happens if he/she wakes up to be fed in the middle of the night. He/she will wake up Noella, right? I mean how do parents do it when they have twins???? We can divide the room by putting up a wall but the baby won't have a window && that's bad. I dunno what to do with that situation. Also...I don't like my fiance's mother. She's disrespectful. How can I have another child with him knowing I'll have to see her sometimes? I know I shouldn't stop my life for someone else but I don't need her bull**** either.

OK. I know this was long. But if any of you guys can read it I'd appreciate it.

Thank you.

Christine

In my opinion the LAST thing you should be thinking about right now is having another baby. Babies cost a LOT of money and I know because I have two daughters myself with my husband. You are young and there is plenty of time to have babies. Focus on your and your man's career's and stability. Do you have medical insurance? Cuz if you are hospitalized and have no insurance you are gonna be in debt big time. If I were you I would work to get off of WIC and food stamps because it is us the tax payers who are paying for your kid and kids. I wish you the very best I really do but just think about you and your fiance and your child and get some stability before even thinking about bringing another child into the picture. Good luck.

Well my fiance works so he's paying for everyone else too. When people need the help they deserve the help. So that was pretty pointless to say on your part.

Thanks for the advice though. I'll talk everything over with my fiance. I still think I wanna do this...and not for selfish reasons.