I'm finished ttc...my journey is over.

Dawnyel · #1 (**permalink**) 12-01-2005, 12:46 PM

Hey everyone,
Me and Scott have decided to end our journey in TTC. We now have 2 children in heaven, and that's as many kids as we wanted anyway. If by a miracle we do get pregnant it wont be because we were trying. I wish you all well and may God bless you married couples in your journey TTC. It has been two long years of heartbreak for me, and this second miscarriage has made me think about how much precious time I've lost with Scott, being so absorbed in trying to get pregnant. Babies are NOT everything, it wont complete me, and they are not a permanent thing. So many things can happen in the first 2 years of the childs life, it makes me uneasy about even bonding with a child. Miscarriages take place in EVERY week of pregnancy. There is NO safety in being pregnant.. weather you're 12 weeks or 39 weeks.. anything can happen, and it's in God's hands. I'd rather just enjoy my husband and my life, and not want a baby anymore, so when it does happen, it is in God's time. Clomid pushed my body into doing something it didn't want to, or wasn't ready to do. The first egg that came out after a year of not ovulating was obviously a bad egg.

Prana · #2 (**permalink**) 12-01-2005, 11:45 PM

Oh Dawnyel I'm so sorry

I can only imagine how hard this has been for you and your husband. I really hope that you'll concieve on your own but if not I hope you'll change your mind and come back in a bit or at least consider other options. I just know that we're all meant to be mothers and thinking of any of us giving up, well, it just breaks my heart. We're all here for you no matter what and you can contact me personally anytime you need an ear, a hand or a shoulder. ::big hugs:: I'll be praying for you. Good luck and blessings, Prana

randi78 · #3 (**permalink**) 12-02-2005, 02:37 PM

Dawnyel - I'm so sorry for your losses. Your TTC journey has certainly been a bumpy one. I hope your decision is the right one for you and your DH.

We're here for you if you need us.

satyrngrl · #4 (**permalink**) 12-04-2005, 10:54 AM

Oh, Dawnyel--I'm sooo sorry for your loss. I pray that God brings you some comfort and that he will bring a child into your life in one way or another. As your heart heals from all this sadness, know that we are always here for you.

Take care of yourself & know you are loved,

Nickie

MicheleRN · #5 (**permalink**) 12-04-2005, 07:32 PM

Dawnyel, I am so sorry girl.
It will happen for you when the time is right.

Dawnyel · #6 (**permalink**) 12-05-2005, 04:53 AM

Thanks for being so supportive guys. You should know though, I am not upset, and I'm not disappointed this time. I started bleeding and THEN found out I was pregnant. I thought it was just my period. I never had time to get excited and I never had much hope for the pregnancy. I've also realized that there's nothing more precious than my relationship with my Husband, and with God. And ttc has made both of those relationships very shaky. I almost left my husband when I was on clomid, and I will never take that drug again. I wish you all well in your TTC journeys and the ones that are already pregnant, I will pray for safe and happy deliveries.

-Dawnyel

sweetpea1215 · #7 (**permalink**) 12-05-2005, 05:15 AM

Hi Dawnyel! I haven't posted on the board in a while but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am to here about your miscarriage. I understand your decision and like you said, everything is in God's hands. I wish nothing but the best for you and your dh! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

markswife · #8 (**permalink**) 12-08-2005, 08:43 AM

Aww hun

I am so sorry for your loss. You have been through so much. I will be praying for the Lord to bring you comfort and peace. I wish you nothing but the best in your future!

Rebecca13 · #9 (**permalink**) 12-08-2005, 02:15 PM

Gosh, I am so sorry I never even got to know you. Just an idea, have you thought about adoption. I know I put in paperwork not too long ago. It feels good to reach out to someone like that let me tell you. You are in my prayers, hope you and your husband have a happy and healthy life. Rebecca

jdwantsababy · #10 (**permalink**) 12-11-2005, 12:12 PM

I'm sorry to hear that Dawnyel, but I pray that you made the right decision for you and your husband and I pray that God continues to give you peace and bless you.

sandj · #11 (**permalink**) 12-13-2005, 01:13 PM

Dawnyel, my heart goes out to you. I am glad you are feeling good about the decision right now. If grief ever hits, do not see that as a sign of weakness, but just your emotions adjusting to the loss of something you once imagined having for yourselves. I wish you and your DH the best as you explore this next phase of your marriage together.

daisy0803 · #12 (**permalink**) 12-15-2005, 10:59 AM

good luck with everything. my heart goes out to you but i wish i had your mindset. i know how hard it is to walk away from a dream you had always assumed was your future, not a dream. dh has asked if i'd like to stop trying too for our sake all around but i am not there yet. i dont have it in me to stop, and i know i'd simply secretly obsess still.
Best wishes. you are an incredible woman to see what is the priority and keep it that way.