OK, I went into the whole BF'ing thing whole heartedly, I read everything, I know all the statistics, when we were struggling with feeding for the first 8 days until my milk came in I refused a bottle for my baby and tube fed while she latched onto me. I get personally offended and distraut when people think that formula feeding is "just as good" and don't even try to bf (although I know they're out there I've yet to personally meet someone who's really tried when she's run into issues). I've got on my soap box so many times about the benefits of breastfeeding that I think my formula feeding friends are a little uncomfortable as I freely whip out the boob.

So that being said, the last week or two I'm getting TIRED of bf'ing... I know that part of this comes from our 4 week checkup where Maia dropped from the 50th percentile in weight to the 40th (fyi doctor has never pushed or pressured for formula, she gave formula and told us to give via a cup or syringe and NOT a bottle in the beggining since Maia lost 15% of birth weight in the first 4 days since I wasn't producing any milk and reffered me to 2 lactation specialists immediately, we stopped this supplementation after 5 days once my milk was fully in), after this last checkup she said to make sure I take Maia to a dark quiet room so that she doesn't get distracted when she nurses and to do breast compressions and never once even hinted at formula (I also started taking fenugreek which seems to work for me). I don't know what's wrong with me, I've gone against everything I've stood for during the last 5 months and started giving 1 bottle of formula a day, to as a tell myself, give myself a break and refill and its SO nice to see how much she's eating. I know this is a trap and a slippery slope... how do I stop this????? It seems so easy to me to just start cracking the formula, DH can help when he's home. I can take a bottle with me and not worry about people feeling uncomfortable if we go out and I pull out the boob(which I used to get a secret thrill from before even though I covered up with a recieving blanket and just hoped someone would say something so I could rip them apart).

Anyway, sorry for the ramble... I REALLY want to get back on track, I know in my mind and heart that bf'ing is the best thing for Maia and it really is the easiest thing with no muss or fuss. Is this a stage or something a lot of people go through after a while? Is this perhaps because I started taking anti-depressants for ppd about a month ago? Any advice or even just experiences would help. Thanks.

-Erin

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I wouldn't worry at all about the drop from 50th to 40th. Those charts are really meaningless. She has gained and will continue at HER own rate. She is still gaining and you are doing a great job! I am not sure what advice to give other then if you do decide to give her a bottle here or there it is NOT going to hurt her. breastfeeding IS hard and not just at the beginning. It is a HUGE commitment. You have to do what feels right for you.

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Patty 37
DW Julie 40
"domestically partnered" since 1994

My new, awesome ped will not even give you %. He just doesn't want parents stressing about %iles when they just aren't that meaningful. You have to remember that baby's genetic programming comes out in the first year. If she is going to be a big or small kid is influenced by genetics.

My ds1 had been at most 90% in the first few months but buy 9 months he was 25%. The ped never batted an eyelash. He is almost 6yo and that is just his curve. It just took a bit to find it.

Finally, have you ever really looked at the growth charts? Those lines are so small and hard to read that it is easy to mismeasure.

If she is growing (length counts too!) and seems happy and healthy then I think you are right on track. Bf on demand and I think you'll do great.

Beth

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ds #1 6/02 and ds #2 12/07

Hmmm, this is tough. Maybe it is related to the ppd. What are you taking? I take 75mg Effexor Xr and it's helped me tremendously. Also I still love bfing my 15 month old though I would quit now if she was ready. But I feel like we'll probably self wean. I'm off track. So she's 4 mos old? That is a difficult age. I assume she's become distracted by the world around and probably fusses and pulls off the breast. If that is the case believe me when I say it is just a phase. A very frustrating annoying phase but it will pass. As for the bottle, I think at this age you don't have to worry about nipple confusion but I would think that giving a consistent bottle every day could affect your supply. Maybe not as so many women go back to work and their dc get bottles during the day and still bf at night. If she was 4 weeks old I would say what you're doing is very dangerous but since she's older I'm not sure it's such a problem really. And if it helps you feel better about the bfing that you are still doing then maybe you should keep it up. Formula is not the best thing for a baby, but it's not rat poison either. I feel like any momma milk a baby can get is great! You sound so educated on the benefits of bfing and like you've been really committed thus far. Just take a deep breath and don't be too hard on yourself. If you need a break that's normal and ok. Hugs.

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Erin, where in Toronto are you? I'm just south in Mississauga. We could meet, and then you could say you've personally met someone who tried when they ran into issues. My milk "came in" about a week and a half after birth. I did the lactation aid, I did cup feeding, I tried pumping (double and single), I used fenugreek, blessed thistle, and mother's milk tea. I've seen 4 different LC's! I'm now only offering the boob after a full bottle of formula and when she still seems fussy. She only accepts it for less than 5 min now. I think I gave up a few days ago.

You've done great. I hope for your sake, you continue to do great. I agree with the comments about the antidepressants. I know there are some that can reduce supply. I don't know if that's the issue, or if it's just a mental thing. If it's just a mental thing, I can try to be a cheerleader for you. You know the BM is the best for Maia, and it is easier than dealing with bottles and powder and water and all that stuff. I wish I'd been able to continue.

Side note....Emily has the same exact outfit as Maia in the top picture

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Thanks all, I'm feeling much better and not wracking myself with guilt for giving her a bottle of formula once a day. Hopefully I can get 100% back on track but for now I'm just taking that little breather.

Hi Kenda, I'm taking a fairly low dosage 20mg of Citalopram, I don't know if this is one that affects supply. I did check with the Sick Kids hospital as they have a drugs and breastfeeding information line but I only checked about relative safety.


Hi Jenny, we're not far at all from you at all, just in central Etobicoke (427/Burnhamthorpe area). Yeah I loved that little outfit, I was so sad when she outgrew it but its packed away for the next kid, gotta love The Children's Place, they have such cute clothes!

Thanks again everyone!

-Erin

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hi erin,
bfing is full of stages and changes. it's a challenging course to take, but as you well know so worth the effort. i think what's going on is probably a combination of the age and stage, and maybe a little need to separate some. i have a six month old and at times i feel slightly resentful that she refuses a bottle and therefore dh won't let me leave her with him. i used to love to go to the movies or shop and those things are so hard to do with a baby that wants to be close to me and nurse frequently, like mine does. but this is the sweetest time of life, trust me. these are the best days. you are certainly on track with knowledge, to say the least, you are doing your best. so if you think you need a break here and there with a bottle..then do it. i just wouldn't make it part of any routine, but rather "occasionally". hang in there, bf-ing mommas rock!

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how are you doing? things getting better for you?

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Michelle (24) and Brad (28)

HOST OF TTC 2+ YEARS
HOST OF Alternative/Herbal/Non-Traditional

even though it is a pain in the rearend, perhaps you could pump her a bottle occasionally rather than using aim. that would give you the freedom of your hub being able to help without decreasing your supply further.

artifical milk is NOT rat poison, but it is 4th best after breastfeeding directly from the mother (1). the other options in order are: being supplemented with the mother's pumped milk (2) being supplemented with another mother's pumped milk (3) or being supplemented with aim (4).

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