I tried bf'ing Adam, but only last a few days. He was BIG, 10lbs 11oz and had a very strong latch. Well he was severely jaundice and had to be put on a billi bed. With that, he needed more fluids, so I allowed some formula. When he went back to the breast, he tore me up. I bled ALOT, cried alot, and out of no support, gave up. Well, I am currently pregnant and want to try again. I am 'smarter' now and know some pain and cracked nips are normal. No one told me that then.

Ok, so my question is, since I am a bit wiser, do you think it will be easier? Also, I feel so guilty thinking that I will be a success with this one, but not with Adam. I look at him and still beat myself up for not trying harder. We had a great bonding time while feeding still.

Also, he was a great baby. Never cried, slept great, not so clingy to mommy, but clingy to mommy or daddy, which I was greatful for. All the bf babies I have seen have been so mommy attached and it would totally break dh's heart. He is a VERY dedicated daddy, which is why I will also be pumping so he can feed.

Sorry this is so long. And advice is welcome.

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Sounds like you had a rough time the first time. Good for you for wanting to try again.

I think there are a couple of things you can do for yourself this time. First, get connected to some breastfeeding moms. La Leche League meetings are great, and kids are welcome as are pregnant moms. That can serve as a supportive community for you. Second, read read read as much as you can on breastfeeding, or take a class (even if you took one the first time, a refresher is helpful). Having as much information as possible will help you be prepared. Cracked nipples and pain are common, but not inevitable. Have the lactation consultant come see you in the hospital to check on your latch to minimze pain, and bring some lanolin cream to the hospital with you to minimize soreness.

As for the clingy factor, I think it's more of a personality thing than anything. My daughter was a very avid and attached breastfeeder the 18 months she nursed. She is now one of the most independent little girls I know and has had no issues with clinginess at all at preschool or camp. My son, who seems if anything LESS into BFing than my daughter was, is very clingy and into mommy.

Your husband sounds like a great daddy. You don't necessarily have to pump to keep him involved. He can bathe, change diapers, and my personal favorite, bring the baby to you for his night nursings. If you do decide to pump and give a bottle, hold off for a couple of months until your supply is well established. Your baby's sucking is the best regulator of your supply and plenty of nursing sessions will help a lot.

Good luck!

Suzanne

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Suzanne

Proud mommy to Katie and Rob

With my first dd, I quit bf after a month. Some of the reasons I quit was b/c she had been given formula in the hospital, so since she had already had it, it wasn't a big deal to give her more. Plus I leaked a lot, b/c nurses at the hospital had told me not to feed on demand or she would use me as a pacifier. So between the not feeding on demand, and her using formula when it wasn't convenient for me to bf, I leaked all the time, changed clothes 10 times a day b/c I'd soak through the nursing pads, and just got so frustrated and quit!
Now with my second dd, she's 5 months and I'm still bf and she's never had a drop of formula. I had my mind set that I would bf her. If I gave her formula once, it would be easy to the second, so I wouldn't let myself. Also, the biggest help, was having helpful nurses who helped me and told me I SHOULD feed on demand. Now I have never leaked through my bra at all, and bf is easy.
I like accomplishing goals, so I set a small goal, for a month, then made it, and another goal for a couple months, and so on. This is what helped me. But I think a failed attempt, and a little guilt, really motivates people, it did me, and now I'm doing great!
If you have the support around you - to help you when you have issues and to encourage you when you feel frustrated - you will be fine! Good Luck!

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Jana

Cameryn Taylor - 4/1/03
Aubrey Marie - 2/16/07

suzanne gave you great advice, and sounds like jana knows right where you are coming from..

i'll just add that both of my kids love me (and dd is stillnursing ) but daddy is definately both of their favorite.

with dd, she is very attached to her milkies, but when daddy gets home, she almost forgets that i am here. ds was very similar, though he wans't as attached to nursing itself.

if you'd like to read a book, i'd highly recommend so that's what they're for by janet tamaro.

being prepared is one of the best ways to make it all work. will you be delivering at hoime or at a hospital? if at a hospital (or birthing center) having a good knowledgeable midwife or ob makes a difference in hoew higns start, and havign a sgood ped/dr for the baby who won't sabotage bf can make all the difference in the world.

if this baby is jaundiced as well, maybe you could use a biliblanket instead of a bilibed, because you'll be able to still hold the babe, (and nurse). lots of frequent nursing and sunlight can help break down the bilirubin and flush it out, without the use of artificial milk.

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Hello! My name is Jillian and I just had my 2nd baby in the begining of the month! I have to say my first go around with breastfeeding was horrible. This time I went into it with an open mind and it has been amazing experience for me and the baby. I say the 2nd time is so much easier! Good luck

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Thanks for all the kind words. I am going in alot more informed, so I know that will help. I also am going to one of those seminars at Babies R Us. I have a friend that is also now a pro, so she will help also.

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I wanted to address your worry about clinginess. DS#1 was and still is so attached to me. He really didn't take to DH (as in choose to be with DH rather than with me) until after he was 3 and really got into "guy stuff." I always thought that was the natural progression of things and was fully prepared to DS#2 to be a mama's boy at least for the first few years. I was wrong. DS#2 is a total daddy's boy. He is all about his daddy and I'm really just there for food. Seriously, the kid will finish nursing, turn around, and reach out his hands for DH to take him.