Hi.
I'm new to this board. I just bought the NCSS. Yesterday I did the sleep log and was surprised to find that my 9 mo. old sleeps for a total of 13 hours and 20 minutes...at least she did yesterday.
But we still aren't happy with the sleep situation because she wakes often. Last night it was 5 times and then she came into bed with us and slept the rest of the night. But I barely slept because she kept kicking me and moving and making sounds.
So my question is should I try some of the strategies suggested in the book or should I be happy that she is sleeping that much?

and !!!!

That's great that your little girl sleeps that much! My son certainly didn't at 9 months old! He was in the process of growing 12 teeth at once... by the time he was 11 months old he had all 16 teeth! It seemed kind of like a curse at the time (he would wake 12-14 times a night, and would be awake for an hour or two sometimes), but actually it was nice that the whole teething thing didn't drag out for a year!

You may be right in noticing that you aren't necessarily having as tough a time as some more restless babies, but if you feel you aren't getting enough sleep, and you aren't happy with her joining you in bed then certainly there is some room for improvement! We are trying to work towards babies being able to put themselves back to sleep without feeling they need their parents to help them do this, and working towards getting babies to be happy and comfortable to sleep in their own beds if that is what is desired. This is a great method for you because it sounds like your baby only needs some gentle help in that direction.

A couple of questions:

1) What is the longest stretch of sleep your baby has? If it's 5 hours or longer, then that is a great start because that is the medical definition of "sleeping through the night" as NCSS and the American Assoc. of Pediatrics points out. Now we can work on stretching out this time with all of the tips Pantley provides in her book.

2) How long does your baby wake for at a time? Does she wake up because she is hungry? Scared? Needing comfort (re teething)? She's working on a new skill (ie crawling or standing up)? She wants to play? She's cold/hot? Does she just need some re-settling or is she up for a long time?

With answers to these questions, we can start to see some possible things to try to gently teach your child how to solve some of these problems on her own.

Looking forward to helping you!

__________________








Host of:
The No Cry Sleep Solution
Attachment Parenting

Thanks for replying!

It is great that she sleeps that much but yes...we still feel like we have a problem. And she doesn't always sleep that much! 2 nights ago she cried from 7:30 to 11pm and finally fell asleep in my arms in our bed. We have no idea what was wrong.

I guess our biggest complaint is that she doesn't stay asleep.

I don't hate that she joins us in bed but she moves so much..it would be nice to have some space and be alone with my DH sometimes!

In her crib the longest stretch from sleep log was 1 hour 15 min. She always wakes a half hour after she goes to sleep and then the next wakings vary. Once she is in our bed she usually sleeps through until morning. But when I say sleeps through she cries in her sleep and makes noises and moves but I just need to give her the soother or pat her back and it's back to sleep in seconds usually.

When she wakes in her crib she usually is back to sleep as soon as I pick her up and rock her. I hold her for 5 min and put her back.
I don't think she is hungry. I think she just wants to see me!
She doesn't have any teeth yet!
She is definately working on lots of skills...she often calls to me because she is sitting up or standing up and doesn't know what to do!

I certainly agree with you - what matters is how you feel about how things are going... and even if you have less nightwakings than others, you are still working towards having none, so NCSS will be great for you! Have you started working through the "solutions" section yet? I just love Elizabeth Pantley's writing style because you feel so comfortable like you are talking to a friend!

When do you usually try to put her to bed? Possibly I'w way off base but it's just a possibility... I found with my DS that if I started getting him ready for bed when he was already tired, then he would become overtired and unfortunately at that point, they can't go to sleep because they are all messed up. It seems soooo weird to say a baby can't sleep because they're too tired, but that's what they seem to do ! I tried starting my bedtime routine 30 mins to an hour earlier because of this, and it seemed to help. Plus, I tried doing all the tips in the book such as making sure I dimmed the rooms we were in (pulling blinds, soft lighting) 2 hours before bedtime, and not engaging in excitable physical play but instead changing it to quiet reading time (seperate from bedtime books) which is suggested by supporters of literacy so that's 2 good things happening ... or quiet play. He really seemed to need the wind-down time, and the dim lighting helps the melatonin which is so necessary for sleep to start being released. Then I continued with the routine with quiet bath, bedtime books, songs and sleep. It's still quite hypnotic for him now that he is 3.5 years old - he subliminally has connected all these calming things with sleep and it's like he is under a spell... in fact it works so well my DH and I start yawning like crazy and I myself might even fall asleep for a few minutes at the end of it all... whereas all the CIO choice has going for it is that they will cry in their crib until they are tired or give up, but really you haven't taught the baby anything and when they are 3 or 4 years old and want to stay up and watch a show - you are sort of stuck because you can't make them stay in their bed at that point .

Fair enough ! This is a great book for that, because she teaches many different ways to make the baby's room a pleasant and safe place to want to sleep in, and how to gradually get them to want to stay in there.

Yep, that's too short for sure! This book is great for that, too, to give a bunch of tips to helping the baby transition easily back to sleep (eventually by themselves) by different things you can do to their room to make it seem like it's time to sleep. You mention she has no teeth yet, but she could be teething, which takes place for as long as 2.5 months before a tooth appears. My DS would act totally weird and different - cranky and wanting to cuddle and have comfort at night - for a long time... and we'd be wondering what was going on until a tooth appeared. The frustrating thing is once the tooth appears, they are fine, so it's when you see no tooth (even no sign of it) that they could be having the worst problem as it slowly and painfully cuts it's way down the gum, unseen by us!

That is certainly a time of many wakings!

Let me know what you think of the book, or any questions about the tips she provides as I'd be happy to help!

__________________








Host of:
The No Cry Sleep Solution
Attachment Parenting

[quote=Zennifer] Have you started working through the "solutions" section yet?

I have finished reading the solutions section and have written a sleep log.


When do you usually try to put her to bed?

Her usual bedtime is 7:30pm but sometimes she naps later in the afternoon so I adjust the time and put her to bed a bit later.
If I try to put her to bed too early then she isn't tired and we end up having a worse time!

I have been trying to do the quiet time but 2 hours before..that's hard. That would mean I would have to start at 5:30pm. My DH isn't even home then. Before bedtime routine we are eating dinner then we take the dog for a walk and then it's time to start bedtime.

What would you suggest for quiet play for a 'wild' 9 mo old who has just learned to crawl and pull herself up onto everything?!

We dim the lights in her room when we put jammies on and read and story and nurse and I'm trying to remember to do it during bathtime too but that's my DH job!

I'm not interested in CIO..my Dr suggested it. I tried it a few times and she cried for hours and never fell asleep at the end of it. It's too stressful for us!

A lot of the suggestions in the book we do already. So we are focusing on 'helping baby fall back to sleep step-by-step'. I usually rock DD to sleep and then hold her for 5 min and transfer her to crib. I know this is baby steps but I have been trying to hold her for 4 minutes now before the transfer.

Things seem to be getting worse and I don't think it's because of the 4 min but there must be something else going on. Last night she slept at 7:30pm and slept for her usual half hour and woke. I rocked her back to sleep and from 8-9:30pm she woke nearly every 5 - 10 min. sometimes she went back to sleep with a soother replacement or pat on the back. other times I had to take her out and rock her. normally she falls asleep as soon as I take her out of the crib. last night she just laid in my arms for ages..not crying or fussing...just laying there until she fell asleep. I would put her in the crib and barely sit down on the couch and she would be awake again.

This morning she fell asleep quickly for her nap but again woke 5 min later and I tried 40 min to get her to sleep...no luck. At 11am I nursed her and she fell asleep but I had to go in constantly again!

Something is up!

I just made sure the rooms were as dark as possible (pulling blinds and curtains if necessary) and I played quiet music, or even "Baby Galileo" from Baby Einstein, which my DS started to refer to as "The Sleep Show" once he could talk, because he really built an association with the show and sleeping as there are a lot of nighttime and sleepy images in it. Even when he was excited, my DH and I would continue to keep our voices quiet and calm, so that he would start to sense the mood of the house. It is hard to do this so early for sure, especially when in the summer we'd have visitors, or be invited to BBQs but we tried to do it as much as possible, including trying to keep sleep time and nap time the same every day, give or take 15 minutes so that a schedule would slowly evolve.

Mine too... isn't that funny? I read in a FABULOUS BOOK called "In Search of Sleep" by Bonnie Reichert where she talks about pediatricians and their penchant towards recommending ways to get babies to sleep, when really they have little to no training in this area any more than an average new parent does... Great book. Anyway, I brought my NCSS book to DS's pediatrician and she thought this was quite interesting and she went and photocopied the front page so she could recommend it to other patients' families. Here's a link to some excerpts from it: http://www.todaysparent.com/toddler/...p?content=3280

This could very well be the case! It is very possible that she has a tooth coming in during the next month or two, which often creates restlessness and need of comfort... especially if she can be sometimes settled with a pacifier suggesting that having something in her mouth can relieve her at times...

How's it gone the last couple of days? Any other clues in this direction?

__________________








Host of:
The No Cry Sleep Solution
Attachment Parenting

Still no signs of any teeth but things have improved dramatically. Yesterday morning she slept for 1 hour 40 minutes without waking once!...not even at the half hour! I actually had to go in and check to see if she was okay!!

Last night we were out so we didn't start bedtime until later. She was asleep by 8:30pm. She woke 20 min later and only needed the soother and some patting. i didn't even need to take her from the crib. She rolled onto her tummy...which makes me nervous...and she slept until 5:20am!!!

She was awake...I brought her into our bed but she wouldn't sleep. I nursed her and she still wouldn't sleep. Finally I hugged her and she slept on me until 8:30am!!!

So I don't know what has changed but it's good! One thing I did do was leave the t-shirt I had been wearing all day with her in the crib. She held it to her face...which also made me nervous...but it seems she might use it as a lovey.

So all is well at the moment!!!