If you need in person support, I'm here in Zama(near Yokohama) and we're always up for day trips. I find that using the shades or the shutters has really helped keep my little one asleep a bit longer. I had to make curtains from a thick fabric, but he stays asleep now even after the sun comes up. We'll see if that works once the weather improves. If you have a Yuzawaya nearby you can buy some. Often Jusco, Saty or even Don Quiote sell nice fabrics too, all you need is thumb tacks, a hammer and some cord...no sewing involved.

Even if the baby is up 30 min later, it is helping him get used to being comfoted by your DH. I don't know if this will help, but we had a similar night a bit ago and DH took him downstairs to the bathroom...it woke the baby up completely, but then he wasn't upset and was able to fall back asleep on his own without a feeding(since he'd just eaten 2 hrs before). Lately that is kinda what I'm doing, I know we're supposed to keep the baby drowsy, but it seems like if he has a chance to REALLY fall back asleep on his own, instead of passing out due to me feeding him it really helps. Since it is dark, and night, he's still tired, and nursing gets him really sleepy, but he falls back asleep on his own. Though it's probably not quite where you are yet. Dunno. I've been using the PPO for awhile now though, and that helps a lot. Oh and I can't nap with him, at the same time, but in a different place, otherwise he needs me nearby all night.

I don't know if any of this helps...or if it's right, but hope it changes soon, keep working at it, and take naps during the day. If you ever want a hug, drop me a line at soybeanlover@ezweb.ne.jp

Dear Soybean lover,
Wow, so strange that we are on this chat and you are actually in yokahama, only about 30 mins from me. Thanks for the support. Things are getting a bit better, but I have to admit that after a few vocal evenings with my husband, we were stressed about what to do, we decided to try another approach. It was something I was totally against, but it seems to be helping. Basically, I guess it's a form of CIO, but not quite. I leave the baby for 3 mins, check on him, then 5 and then another 5, by then he is asleep. I've found he's sleeping better and has been in a much better mood. But with all that, it's not completely resolved, for I'm trying to figure out the sleep schedule/eating schedule. He was accustomed to just breastfeed when he wanted to at night, it was fine with me, until it was waking me every hour. Now he seems, after 2 nights of trying, to be more rested. He's down to two feedings a night and from 6 wakings to about 3. I'm still trying to get him to take to a lovey, have you had any success?

I also want to say this, I don't think any of this would have worked had I not done all the things Elizabeth Pantley was suggesting: routine, naps, ppo, and the phases. I'm basically using her phases. I don't pick the baby up now. It's hard and stressful, but it's better to have one crying baby for 5 mins than a bigger crying baby, for days, mommy.

As far as the curtain. OUr neighbors left the country and gave us a black out curtain. It's amazing. I didn't realize how much light was reallly coming in. Now he sleeps until 6:30 vs 5am!!!

Thanks so much for the support. I'm not sure if you come into the city, but I'm on the tokyu toyoku line-gakugeidaigaku. I go to a lot of new mom groups and such. It's hard though to get out much lately, since i"m reallly trying to focus on him getting naps.

By the way, I think putting the baby to sleep sortof awake, is what's helped me. I was always in fear of it, thinking, oh no i'm going to be up forever, but so far so good. And it's good that you are getting help. At this point, i'm the main night person, it just wasn't working out for me otherwise. Patience was a huge issue on my husbands part.

Take care and I feel bad, I am not knocking down the no cry book, it's just that we got to the point where Pantley suggests we try something else.

k

I am so glad the curtains help, and that you found a solution that works for your family. Sleep is a really nice thing, and sounds like he has improved a lot. Good Job! How are you feeling?

No luck on the lovey yet, he really isn't interested at all, so I'll give it a rest and see if he can find one on his own. He is sleeping a lot better now though, he only nurses once a night and wakes up once or twice. Though I need to make some curtains for our room. We had shutters, but it is getting too hot to use those now.

Yeah, actually I'm not getting much help, my husband, like yours, doesn't have a ton of patience, especially when he's tired, but he is more cooperative about being calm in the evenings now days.

What kind of new mom groups are there? Are they all mostly in Tokyo or are there any closer to Yokohama?

How much solid food does your little one eat? Here is our rough daily schedule
6-7 wake up
7:30ish breakfast
9:30ish nurse-nap
12 wake up
12:30ish lunch
2:30ish nurse-nap
5:15ish dinner
6:30 start bedtime routine
7 nurse
7:15 lay down, giggle with daddy
7:45 asleep
2:30-4am feed once

hope that will help with ideas
ok I need to go to bed now, but I'll let you know when I go into the city again. My husband works near Toritsudaigaku station, so we need to visit daddy one day.

Good Luck!

Thanks Soybean lover

Your schedule helps to see how others do it. I've had now 7 nights of the baby sleeping through! I'm so happy now. I'm not waking up as a total tearful, mean person. I'm really cuddling more during the day because I have to admit, I really do miss him at night. WE don't co-sleep, it was too hard for me to get into that. I realize now that half of my baby's wakings were from me training him in a way to wake up. I was running in at every sound, not to disturb my husband. So during my husbands vacation we worked on it together, it really was great.

I too have had no luck with a lovey... it's strange, I've tried everything. We shall see.

Toristudaigaku is a great area, there is a really good discount store with lots of bulk items, called hanamasa. I don't know if you are vegetarian, but if you aren't they have a great meat selection, fish and lots of veggies.

Take care and thanks for the support.