How exactly does that work?? When do you plan to put your children in their own beds? What made you decide to have a family bed?

I'm just curious....all talk I've ever heard of 'family beds' was made to sound perverse and wrong...and I know that can't be the case....I'm intrigued though....

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Hi Micha!

Its sad that someone would view the family bed as perverse, its anything but that.

As for your questions:

With us, it started with Arianna at the hospital, I jsut want to cuddle and hold her, and she loved being there (in my arms). We came home and immediately fell into it, it wasnt planned, it just fit. Thus far they have all ptu themselves in their own bed when they were ready.

Arianna went into her own bed around 15 months, and comes in around 5 am 2 or 3 times a week. William moved to his own bed at 11 months, he liked the space and has only slept with us maybe 3x since then. Aislyn sleeps in a crib in our room for naps and when she goes down for bed. WHen she wakes up to nurse she will then stay in our bed most of the time. Some nights she also wants some space, and will be put in her own bed. Shes pretty clear in what she wants, she's always been that way. We call her Miss Determined.

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Oh okay so they do have their own beds....a friend of mine had a 'family bed' and that was the only bed they had (and it wasn't because they couldn't afford beds or anything) and it just really wasn't a good situation for that family b/c everyone was always irritable....cuz no one could sleep well!

I cosleep with maci but Reis sleeps in his own bed.

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Emma has been w/ us since she came home from the NICU at 2 weeks - It just feels right to us - Nothing is perverse about it - we are one of the few countries that put their kids in a room in a crib by themselves. Most countries co-sleep. Emma will occasionally nap in her crib but normally she's in our bed surrounded by pillows. At night she sleeps in the middle of us. She has a beautiful nursery but loves our bed - As soon as we lay her down she snuggles in with a smile & is asleep in a minute.
We have talked bout putting her in her crib ayt night but its just not time yet - She'll be ready for her own bed soon enough.

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I have coslept with both my children since birth. My daughter decided at age 3 that she was ready for her own bed in her own room, and so we got her a bed. Now our ds is cosleeping with us, he'll be a year this month.

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My boys both have their own beds in our room but they usually sleep with us. We put the older one in the middle and I have the lil one next to me so I can breastfeed. However recently Liam has decdied by himself at 20 months he wants to sleep in his cot/crib and he comes in with us if for some reason he wakes in the night.

We made the decision to co-sleep just after we had our first. I had depression and would cry at the thought of being away from my baby. I never let him sleep any place but in my arms during the day and next to me at night. I just did it instinctively. I had always thought it was the wrong thing to do as well and I coped some flack from my inlaws. Looking into it tho I have found its often safer and theres tonnes of benafits... I love it!

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Married to Neil, Mum to Liam (4), Owen (3) & Carly

hi Micha!

How exactly does that work?? ... because my husband and i have weird sleep habits - we both toss and turn a lot, and we also use a lot of blankets and pillows - we chose to go with a mini co-sleeper "sidecar" to our bed. that way i can just reach over and there she is although if her reflux has her grumpy, i sleep with her in the crook of my arm in our bed and tuck the blankets away from her.

When do you plan to put your children in their own beds? ... whenever she shows signs of wanting to be. we have a crib, the convertible to toddler bed kind, that my mom-in-law bought for us. when Willow gets too big for the co-sleeper (25 lbs. i think) or when she can climb out of it, we'll sidecar the crib up against the bed with the front off of it, toddler-bed style. OR, by then we'll have a king-size bed and we'll have it on the floor and she can just sleep with us it's up to Willow really, when she no longer wants to sleep in the same room with us, she'll make that preference known. she's a pretty independent baby so i can't see her wanting to be in our bed past age 3.

What made you decide to have a family bed? ... i just couldn't imagine putting her in a crib in a room all by herself!! i started out nursing, and i loved just being able to nurse her back to sleep and neither of us really woke up all the way. even with bottle-feeding, we stay half-asleep and go back to sleep easily. she's never had to cry at night even once, i mean if she startles awake for some reason i pat her gently and we both drift back to sleep. i love, love, love being so close to my baby, and it's the best sleep i've ever had in my life

I'm just curious....all talk I've ever heard of 'family beds' was made to sound perverse and wrong...and I know that can't be the case....I'm intrigued though ... i'm guessing the "perverse" angle comes in from people assuming sex is going on with the baby in the bed? i just let her sleep in her swing in the other room when we have *ahem* private time then move her to her co-sleeper.

America is one of the few countries where babies don't sleep with their mothers, so we're the odd ones out in the world. and historically, the "family bed" has been a survival necessity, a way of bonding, and also a healthy way for babies to learn sleep patterns from the adults.

DS1 (6 and half years old) slept with us right until DS2 was born. DS2 (3 months) is now sleeping with us too. We have a king sized bed so space is not a problem. We will continue to cosleep until DS2 wants a bed of his own. In our culture, a family bed is the norm, but really I love it for the closeness and the convenience.

speaking of family bed, just today Willow was grumpy (i think she might be starting to teethe) so i laid her in the bed for a nap with me. when my husband is at work, she always naps with me in the "big bed" i half-slept while she chewed on my fingers, then she fell asleep i can't imagine if i'd had to put her down for a nap in a separate place, so grumpy like that!

It just kind of happened for us too. Even in the hospital he was hardly in that basinette they provide. The first night or two home I would try laying him down in his basinette, then I'd lay in bed for 10 or 15 mintues not being able to sleep, getting up every 2 seconds to peek at him. I couldn't do it! I finally said HECK WITH THIS and just brought him to bed with us every night. Its worked out wonderfully.

Now that baby #2 is coming I'm not really sure what we'll do. I guess we'll buy a bigger bed! We need one anyway since all we have now is a full and it isn't big enough as it is. I'd LOVE to have a king size bed with room for EVERYONE to sprawl out in.

I think I'm going to try and get Daniel to nap in the pack 'n' play I just got for him, and then slowly try and transition him at night. If that doesn't work though we'll continue cosleeping until he's ready to be out, or baby #3 comes! Whichever is first!

(that's actually why I came over here to try and get advice on transitioning from cosleeping to sleeping in the pack 'n' play!)

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I coslept with both of my kids from Day 1. It was not planned both times. My dd moved to her crib when she was almost 4 months old. My ds is cosleeping with us now. He's 6 weeks old and I feel more comfortable sleeping with me. He usually sleeps on my chest and sometimes I put him in his bouncy beside the bed. He naps in his swing, PNP or the bouncy during the day.