I'm just wondering if any of you get AP support IRL? I go to a playgroup once a week that I've been going to since DS was 3 mos old (he's 28 mos). I really like the connection that Todd has developed with the other kids and I get along OK with most of the moms. None of them share my parenting style. I get the feeling that a few of the moms agree with me, but are afraid to sway from the mainstream style. I found and AP group that meets once a week, but it's about 45 min away. I am seriously considering joining, just to get some RL support. I just can't stand going to our current playgroup and hear the moms talk about all the "methods" of sleep they have tried and how they are so upset that their 3 mo olod wants to be held all the time. One of the other moms got a sling and asked me for help, I was so excited. But, I am the "alternative" one to say the least. I don't want to stop going, but I get so frustrated seeing these moms (who are so obviously and sadly ignoring their natural mothering instincts) constantly put their unruly and insecure kids in time out, ignore them or talk down to them. I just really need to be with like minded mamas! Do you all get the support you need?

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Sara (aka mommmyinmarch)

Sara~

It is so nice to have the RL support! I met a friend recently.... actually from another board. It's so nice! We are actually like the same age with almost exactly the same aged kids and in similar situations and surprisingly really close. Who knew! It's too funny when we go places with both of us wearing the babies. We get all sorts of looks! It is eye catching! It really has been so nice though, to actually have afriend to hang out with that I can actually talk to. All my other friends are definently not as easy to relate with. I would defininently try out that group... you never know, maybe there is someone there closer to you that you could meet up with easier. Anyhow, talk to you later...

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~Liz~

re: the 45-minute drive, it's probably worth it! i chose an AP playgroup specifically, they meet at a public park so i thought i'd be able to mix with all sorts of parents at the same time getting support for co-sleeping, sling-wearing, etc. but the other mamas at the park seem offended by all the breastfeeding that goes on in "our" area. i notice we get a lot of strange looks when we're just talking, swaying back and forth with our babies in their slings or pouches. i keep hoping someone will ask, "what's that?" so i can get a conversation started, i'm too shy to approach other people. but so far, the group remains segregated. i feel iffy about that ... i want Willow to know a wide variety of people! then again i've seen the other mamas' kids hitting or throwing stuff at my playgroup's kids when they're just playing nicely, so maybe it *is* a good idea to stay segregated? i'm taking it day by day.

I happen to be lucky enough to live in an neighbourhood where everyone wears their babies, everyone breastfeeds everywhere, and it's extremely common to co-sleep. Most people have The Baby Book as their number one resource for parenting. In the greater area around the neighbourhood it becomes less likely that people are AP oriented, but it is so accepted that people don't really flinch when AP ideals come up in conversation, even if they wouldn't do it. I even hear about grandparents co-sleeping with grandkids when the parents go away.

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Host of:
The No Cry Sleep Solution
Attachment Parenting

it is totally worth it and so important to have RL support.
Another great place to try to meet likeminded mamas is la leche league. You can look for your local group on their website. lalecheleague.org
I have made lots of friends there over the last 16 months, and we are all pretty much trying to parent in the same way.

Frankly, I would rather spend time with people who have similar goals and ideals as myself. Its not like I boycott people who are different than me, but my time is precious, you know? I would rather be with people I like, who have kids I enjoy spending time with. If its not enjoyable, its a waste, imho.

As my parenting journey has progressed, I have also gotten more confident in my choices, and I think this is partly because I do get so much support from my friends. I bf at the beach, cuz i know that any minute one of my friends with me is likely to bf her toddler, too. Safety in numbers

LIke previous poster said, check out the mtg, and see if anyone lives close to you. Also, see if they have a yahoo group or message board, and you can email to find out where people live.

Another thing to check is the mothering.com Find Your Tribe board
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...isplay.php?f=7
you can search by your state/city

good luck

you

LLL and API are both good ways to meet people with whom you're more likely to share parenting ideals.

When I moved back to VA last year, I posted on the MotheringDotCommune's "Finding Your Tribe" forum for VA and ended up meeting a local mom and her son, who was exactly my son's age. She invited me to join her playgroup. The moms in that group are a mixed bunch, they got together because some were in the same childbirth class and some of them knew each other in other ways, so there are some people who are more AP than others. I actually prefer being in a mixed group like that, I get support for my AP beliefs from some of the members but the other members bring other important things to the table, too. It's good to have variety, plus being more diverse keeps the AP folks like me from being too self-congratulatory.

I personally do not other than from dh adn when i go to the group of cloth diapering and AP mama's that meets once a month. I even get a hard time from my folks and MIL, who just tell me that dd is spoiled...not possible at 1 in my opinion!

All of my IRL friends are AP, so it's been awesome. I met a couple of them at Gymboree class 4 years ago (we were all there with our first kids), then a couple of years ago I met a bunch more through MDC and there's a pretty nice sized group of us here in my city.

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SAH-Homeschooling Mama to my guys, Dec. 99 & July 03

I get wonderful support with ap from my Mom she is the best when it comes to that! Had it not been for her I would not have known about breastfeeding, she bought me my first pump the medela pis when my first dd was born a preemie.

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Tessa Jealena 9~24~99
Cheyenne Ruby 8~20~01
Neeko Andrew 7~4~03

I found a local AP group and we get together at least weekly. It's filled with other moms that homeschool, cloth diaper, babywear, breastfeed, no circ too. It's nice hanging out and talking to people that have the same parenting style, and it's nice to have support too.

IRL I am the most AP out my group of girlfriends. We definitely each have a different type of parenting, but we support one another. I know a few of my friends and family think my daughter should not be in my bed and that I need to leave her more often and do things alone, but I am happy, DH is happy, and most importantly, Isabella is very happy.

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