I am in dire need of spiritual healing after this last m/c. I am so angry at God and it scares me at some of the things I have thought about Him. I have dealt with the miscarriage pretty well I just am having a hard time of dealing with the anger directed towards God about what I feel He has done and put us through.

My mom has been here for a visit and started talking about how it was God's way of taking care of something that wasn't right and I just wanted to explode. I kept my temper in check and told her that I didn't ask for this pregnancy and I didn't pray for it. It was a miracle we got pregnant. So why would God give us a miracle, one that made us in awe and so happy, and then take it from us like it didn't even matter? She couldn't answer me.

There has never been a day in my life that I didn't believe in God or just know that, no matter what, He was there...until now. I find myself questioning things I never did before and feeling things in my gut that never use to be there. I told my mom that I didn't beleive God was loving and caring, that I thought he was cruel and didn't care how badly things hurt people or he'd never make us to suffer for things we didn't even ask for or expect to begin with. It just feels like he is punishing me to an extent and deep down I know this can't be true, can it?

I WANT to get past this, I just don't know how. Is this normal?

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Sher,

Having went through infertility and miscarriages myself I understand completely what you're going through . I don't know if this will help and I know people deal with this in different ways but this is how I see it.

God didn't intend for us to live in a world of hurt. Bad things happen to good people all the time and Good things happen to bad people. Does this make sense? Of course not but God is a loving God. He does want the best for us and I think it's through trials that we grow spiritually. I also think sometimes we go through things to help another. Sher your baby wasn't given to you in vain. Your baby had a purpose! You'll see it I promise. Give it some time and know that God understands your anger .

I'm praying for you Sher and I'm always here to listen. Love ya bunches !

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I know you post is old and im not sure if this will even find you, but i wanted to let you know the feelings your having about god is so natural, its like you have to be mad at someone and when its nobody's fault get mad at god. After my first miscarriage i was so angry with him and didnt understand anything he had decided to do in my life.
I dont know you from adam but im going to open up, thats something i dont do with strangers but i think its worth it to show you how "normal" you are.
You see ten years ago i was raped and ended up pregnant, i was only seventeen and had no idea what i was going to do, after almost 5 months i finally told my mom that i was pregnant. She left it up to me if i wanted to keep my baby, well i did keep her she was a part of me, i didnt realize how mad i was till after i got married and had my first miscarriage, then all the feelings came up on how could he do this to me, he allowed me to get pregnant by a man who forced himself on me but yet i cant carry a baby from the man i love and married. Now here i am pregnant again holding my breath, and praying and begging god to let me carry this one, ive had two losses in thirteen months time.
I dont know why im telling you all this i guess just to let you know i know where you come from being mad at god. Anyway im sorry for the loss you suffered i think its the hardest thing you could ever go through.
Darlene

I'm sorry for your loss. I think it is okay to be angry at God we wouldn't be human if we didn't because so many things like this are uncontrollable and out of our power which leaves us feeling vulnerable and weak. My sister had an ectopic pregnancy that had to be removed and I remember how devastated she was and how unfair it seemed that she was so wanting this baby. Time is the only thing that heals that makes a loss not so sharp or hard to bare. God never promised us a life without tribulations or heartache but I think He is there to comfort us in times of need.

Six years ago I lost my grandmother and I was devestated. She was diagnosed with stage four cancer and things went down hill quickly. We were so close and it was so hard to watch her suffer and I felt like part of me was dying along side her. I felt so empty inside and I was so angry at God and so felt like there was no point to anything. All the money in the world couldn't save her and no matter how much I prayed it didn't make a difference. There was no miracle and if anyone deserved one in life she did. Time has eased the severity of pain and ultimately I let go of the anger I had because it didn't get me anywhere. I'm not saying it doesn't still hurt that I still feel the loss but at some point I had to move on and not let it rule my life.

Grieve be angry... go through the grieving process and in time you will move on.

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1/2/08 - 2nd Beta - 7,000 P4 - 55