Okay...I need honest input ladies!

nicoleb · #1 (**permalink**) 09-11-2007, 12:23 PM

Sigh, we really thought we were headed down the right path with this adoption, but we just had the rug pulled out from under us again. After waiting for a month for a referral they just shut down the program one day. MAYBE to reopen in a year. They want us to transfer to the domestic side of adoption, but to be honest, our hearts aren't really there.

So here I find myself pondering TTC again. AM I NUTS?????

My docs have given us no reason for the losses, other than what they suspect. 3 of the losses have been later losses, the other's earlier.

So, I know some of you have had many more losses than me and still have tried again had succesful outcomes. Any advice?

I sure wish someone could make this decision for me....LOL...that would make it alot easier.

Miss you ladies bunches....

Nicole

momma2angels · #2 (**permalink**) 09-11-2007, 02:26 PM

(((HUGS)))
I felt like adoption was our only option after our last loss and now we have a miracle on the way. I didn't want to give up in my heart, I knew we would have one more bio-child (call it gut feelings maybe). Plus we prayed over our options and here we are. Also I have alot of people praying for us and our new little girl. I am really glad the man upstairs is giving us another chance at adding to our family.
Trust what your heart says and if you pray about it the answer should come to you.

I am here if you ever need to talk, just PM away!

Gizzy777 · #3 (**permalink**) 09-12-2007, 07:32 AM

I wish there was an easy answer. I struggled with this as well. We followed our hearts in the end knowing we would regret it if we didn't try our best. Now here we are 13 weeks, all of my losses have been early. Now I believe in miracles again.

lovineachday · #4 (**permalink**) 09-12-2007, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by Gizzy777

I wish there was an easy answer. I struggled with this as well. We followed our hearts in the end knowing we would regret it if we didn't try our best. Now here we are 13 weeks, all of my losses have been early. Now I believe in miracles again.

I could have written that myself. (Except I'm not 13 weeks pg.....yet!

)

We packed it in months ago but then after more thought and soul searching realized that we couldn't pack it in and not have regrets. Even though many people in the general population would think that we've 'tried hard enough', these our OUR lives and we are the only ones who make the decisions related to our family. My last loss was in January, so I feel like the break has really given me strength to try again.

I'm very excited for the possibilities that lie ahead of you, Nicole....most of us here know how hard the decision is. You risk another heartbreaking loss but yet also have the chance to hold another little miracle in your arms. In a big heart-to-heart with my dad when we were trying to decide whether we were going to give it another go, he suggested that if I felt strong enough to try again, he felt we should go for it. Which we are.

Bring on the baby....

Something tells me you already know which way you're headed, but want someone to tell you that you haven't completely lost your mind. I recognize in your post the same way I've felt on several occasions. Nicole, you haven't lost you mind. (Unless we ALL have!!

) I think I speak for everyone when I say that we completely support your wish to try again if that's what you decide.

Again, I'm so sorry about the adoption.

To go through all that to have it end this way is awful.... Maybe it will all somehow be clear in the end???

Thinking of you and your hubby while you try to decide what your next step is.

emma · #5 (**permalink**) 09-12-2007, 03:45 PM

Hi Nicole,

I am sorry that the adoption didn't work out.

You are not crazy! If you don't feel that you are done TTC, then you have every right (and reason) to keep trying.

I have never had a second trimester loss, but I can only imagine how hard it must be. I think that you have a lot of inner strength to have gone through so much, so if you feel that you want to TTC again, then I say: Go for it!

Good luck with your decision!

nicoleb · #6 (**permalink**) 09-12-2007, 05:36 PM

Thanks so much ladies. Sigh, now if I could just talk DH into it. He says no way right now, take the domestic adoption path and revisit the idea in a year.

You ladies are all inspiring the way you have kept trying and now look at you!!!! Sheri, you are next girl. You know I love you to bits.

I will keep you posted. I really do miss you guys bunches every day and wish I could be on this side with you.

Hugs,
Nicole

Tracy1928 · #7 (**permalink**) 10-02-2007, 02:44 PM

Hi Nicole,
I have not been on the message boards in a long time. I just wanted to say hello. I'm so sorry the adoption got closed. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I know before I got pregnant with Ethan we had looked into Domestic Adoption and had started the home study process. I did not want to give up yet on having a biological baby. So we tried again and were blessed with Ethan.

I know this is such a difficult road. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so excited about the possibilities for you like Sheri said. I think you should do what you feel in your heart.

Keep us updated. Thinking of you.