Emotions of the unplanned C-Sec

codedriver · #1 (**permalink**) 04-06-2008, 11:03 PM

I was wondering how some have dealt with the feelings laboring and then having to have an unplanned c-section?

I am lucky that I made it to 38wks but the day before when I went for my check up I was pre-eclamptic and went from OB appoit/NST to L&D to be induced. They tried to get me started and after 12 hrs of just trying to soften the cervix with pills they started Pit, did the foley bulb and then broke my waters. I had started at 2cm 50% and after all that was at a 4cm 75%. The worst part was that my boy started to brady down after the pit so they stopped it and then I decided to cave into an epi and that bottomed my blood pressure out so they had to stablize me from being hypertesive for hours to being hypo from the meds. After they got us both stablized they came in and discussed c-sec because of the blood pressue and his heart rate. I was now a 5cm 75% but the baby was still high up. I guess he wanted the 2wks till his due date. They said we will see what happens and sat me up and as they did he bradied down again so that was that.

I know in my heart that it was what was best but I was so tired after 18 hrs of labor and the meds to lower my bp, raise my bp, meds for vomiting, for stopping contractions and so on I was kind of out of it in the OR. My best friend filmed things and I cry when I watch it because I dont feel that I was really there. I also know that things being done vaginally that my son might have needed some help breathing intially but it kills me to see the video after he starts crying and know that I couldnt be there for him and that I barely remember being there. I even hear the comment about my snoring because I had fallen asleep and my friend telling my son how much I love him and wanted him.

I know that I am not a failure because my body wouldnt progress, I was pre-eclamptic and the baby wouldnt come down but I still feel like I missed something, I missed getting to hold him as soon as he was born, those 1st few minutes of not being able to bond and hold him while he cried. He was cleared and was handed to me to keep with me in recovery when they finished my surgery. I have bonded with him and we are BF champs. I couldnt love him any less it is just getting over those feelings of my dream of the way I wanted things to go.

Any suggestions ladies?

nicksgirl0330 · #2 (**permalink**) 04-13-2008, 12:15 PM

*Lurking*
I had a unplanned c-section. I was pushing for 4 hours before my doc, came in and said "Well Krysten we going to go for a c-section". I do know your pain. Your thinking I'm going to have him normal way and poof your heading down for a c-section. If you very need some to talk to just pm. I'm here to listen.

nicksgirl0330 · #3 (**permalink**) 04-13-2008, 12:25 PM

Also, I fell alseep on the table. I remeber four things. I remeber them asking if I can feel them messing with my belly. To see if I could feel pain. I remeber them tugging on my belly with the forspes(sp). I remeber hearing Ben crying and them cleaning him off and handing him to my dh. And them when there were putting my staples in me. But thats all. I was soo darn tired it wasn't fun. I was in labor from 10 am on March 6th to 3:35am (When Ben was born) on March, 7th. I know how you feel. But nothing is your fault. You feelings well change I promish you. I felt sooo bad about it i cryed for at least two or three weeks after he was born. See I was at a +1, you have to get up to a +4 and the baby is born. But my son's head got turn at some time during labor, and he was trying to come out sideways. I'm glad bfing is going great. Ben and I never could get the hang of it. So now he is ff. But good luck, and best wishes!!!

:hugs:

Lambbibs · #4 (**permalink**) 04-14-2008, 02:10 AM

((((((((HUGS))))))) I had an unplanned c/s with my first after trying to push for 2 hours and laboring for another 36 hours. He hadn't moved at all with my pushing, so I told the doc that it was a time for a c/s. He was just too big, weight 11 lbs 3.5 oz, 24 inches long, and head 15 inches. I don't remember much and I don't have a video to watch it. I also don't have pictures right after he was born. I also don't remember much of anything the first 24 hours after my c/s because my blood pressure went through the roof and I was under observation for those 24 hours. I am at peace with how he was born and with time you will get there too. I also was not successful with breastfeeding, but I bonded just fine with my little man. My second was a planned c/s, so very different. I remember everything and I hav pictures of her right after she was born and being measured. I decided on the planned c/s because I figured she would be big too, 10 lbs 6 oz, 21 inches long, and head was 15-1/4 inches!

I am to the point now that I am just happy to have them here with me and everytime I look at that scar I am reminded the wonderful day each of my little ones were born.

Hang in there sweety! (((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Mason'sMommy · #5 (**permalink**) 04-23-2008, 03:44 PM

*lurking*
Its hard. I'm not sure I still am okay with it. My story is:
I was two weeks past due, my water broke 3:30 a.m hospital 5:00am, small contrations DS never dropped, I was tight closed and thick through it all. they gave me cervadil and I laid down to rest about 10:00 pm. at 11:30 pm I was woken by 7 nurses bursting in my room yelling catheter stat, turn her over, prep her Stat. I had no idea what was going on. Luckily I had the monitor on while I was resting and they lost DS heartbeat and could not get it back so I was taken to Delivery right way, hardly awake, scared cause no one explained to me what was going on. DS was born at 11:51 pm

It was a terrilbe experience and I think made my recovery very tough cause my mind and my body never did quite catch up with what was happening. I feel guilt about not being able to do it, like I wasn't initiated correctly. My point is that I think it will be there for awhile, time helps but I still feel like I missed out on something very special not being able to have the experince of givinig birth. I know that is prob not what you were looking for but I just want to let you know I understand your emotions and vent all you need to!!

psycojenni · #6 (**permalink**) 07-05-2008, 12:43 PM

I really don't even remember much of our c-section at all.

I went into labor at 31 wks. Hospitalized at 33 wks when the babys hb was the same as mine. I got ran from my nst to delivery. By the time they got me stripped down the baby hb had come back up. I spent the next 3 days in l&d trying to stop my labor and monitoring baby. On day 3 they decided that he was decling still so time to deliver. They induced. W/ the first contraction lo hb dropped. Then the next one it was over 200 and they couldn't get it down. So off the the or we went. He was born in less then 15 min from the first contrax. I don't remember any of it. I had the epi, but was still very uncomfortable so they give me some meds. I don't have any recall till about 2 hrs after I was in recovery. All I remember then was that my blood pressure wouldn't come up. But it had been really low most of my preg.

Now we are looking at having another baby. I had a consult w/ my ob and they said theat we would have to have another c-section. Not really sure how I feel about it but I understand it.

codedriver · #7 (**permalink**) 07-12-2008, 07:07 AM

As he gets older I am dealing with it better but the feelings linger some of my lost dream birth. BUT I have a great son who is a joy to have.

if i have another i am still going to try for a vag birth unless i am pre-e again and then i will do the c-sec again with out the induction.

thanks ladies

RedSoxMomma1211 · #8 (**permalink**) 08-17-2008, 08:51 PM

I know how you feel because I am still feeling that way and my son is over 8 months old! I found an awesome support group online (ICAN) International Cesarean Awareness Network they have a great email loop full of tons of resourceful and knowledgeable women that can help you though this time.
They also have actual chapters and meetings all over the US and 7 different countries Internationally. It may be something you want to look into.

melly96 · #9 (**permalink**) 08-17-2008, 09:29 PM

I was suppose to be induced. Got to hospital they did got me all hooked up and her heartrate dropped. They broke my water and put a interal monitor on Kylie. I just in awe this was all happening. My OB got there and thought I was was having a placental abuption. Back to C-section I went.

I remember the section. It happened so fast. Next thing I know she is crying. 8lbs 7ozs. She was 3 days overdue.

Recovery wasn't bad. I will probably try for a vbac with my next child.