New and Looking for a little advice!

Hina · #1 (**permalink**) 08-05-2007, 05:11 AM

I don't know really where to post this, so if I posted it in the wrong area please forgive me.

I'm having some family issues and I'm to the point I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm not going to go into alot of detail, because after 3 years of this girl and my brother-in-law I could write a book.

My brother-in-law's wife is about to have a baby in Sept. This is a girl who married another guy when they broke up (because of him cheating) and he joined the Marines. He is the favorite of my husbands mom, her baby, he can do no wrong (yet he makes the most problems out of all 4 of the boys). She was cheating on her husband with him and now she's having a baby.

She got divorced and married my brother-in-law. My husbands mother is all caught up in this again (brother-in-law told her she was going to be a grandmother about 2 years ago, the women who he was cheating with on his now wife).

My husband and I have been trying for 4 years of our marriage to have a baby(I'll post more about this on another board later), our life is perfect but we just hope and pray everyday that our day will come when we can hold a bundle of joy.

Right now everything is about them, them and the new (first) baby coming. I couldn't be happier knowing someone is having a baby expecally my brother-in-law, but the thing is they're life is not made up of what a marriage is supposed to be about, yet they have been blessed with a child and to be honest it could not even be his after everything thats going on, and knowing the way she is, the way he is.

I guess what I'm asking is how to do I teach myself to let it go? Egnore them, yet love them. How do I teach myself to be a good person and know that the truth will come out sooner then later. I just need to live my life and go on, don't worry about it. But it's so hard when all you want in life right now is a baby and you see so many people just throwing it away, and people all caught up into something that isn't real.

I just need a little help, this bothers my husband all the same he trys to help me, but he's had to deal with this all his life, so he knows how to just push it away and deal with it later.

May · #2 (**permalink**) 08-06-2007, 06:35 PM

Welcome to Sheknows Hina!
I am very sorry you are going through all that with your brother in law. I have to say, he would be getting on my nerves too.
The only advice I can give is to pray that God will help you to love them and react appropriately toward them.
I have to do that same thing with my sister in law. She is 25 and has a little girl that will be 3 in september with a guy that is a drug dealer. She lives with her parents and leaches off of them and they are constantly watching and caring for their granddaughter while she is off playing. She does have a job but she gives a lot of her money to her daughters father. (and you know what hes doing with it). He got arrested last month and we were all hopeful he would be put in jail but guess what? He got off b/c they didnt have any room in jail. GREAT!
The problem with dh's parents is that they have never put their foot down with her and she just throw little temper tantrums while they tip toe around trying not to get her upset.
Then my brother in law is not bad in that way but just to give you a little idea of what he is like... Yesturday dh talked to him around noon. Then we went to my parents house were we dont have cell phone service. It was just for 4 1/2 hours and he knew where we were going. He called us a grand total of 16 times and left 5 messages. He totally surpassed Cable guy level!
Well anyway, I could go on and on but I wont. lol

What cycle day are you on now? Do you chart? If you do, I would love to take a look at it! If not, and you are interested in doing so, you can get a free account with Fertility Friend http://www.fertilityfriend.com/.
I chart using my morning temp and my Cervical Fluid. Other ladies also use OPK's.
This particular forum is a bit slower than others. We would love to have you over at TTC- 6+ Months http://talk.sheknows.com/forumdispla...aysprune=&f=21
There is also TTC-Preparing to TTC http://talk.sheknows.com/forumdispla...sprune=-1&f=35
There are many other forums on here as well. Just go to the bottom of the page where it says "Forum Jump" and click on the arrow to scroll through the list. When you find where you want to go, click on it.
Its good to have you here and I look forward to seeing you around the board again, dont be a stranger!

Oh yes, if you have any questions feel free to just ask!