Hi! I'm Jen, I'm 32 and have a SO for about 1 1/2 years. He's divorced with 4 other children (also 11 yrs older than me).

My pregnancy first of all was a complete accident, I was on the pill! Needless to say, he was NOT thrilled at all, I knew from the beginning that he really didn't want anymore children, he told me that. That's why I was on the pill, it didn't bother me one way or the other.

When he found out he was upset and we didn't speak for almost a week. We've since gotten back together, but he doesn't ask about anything, but I don't mention it to him either, I don't ask him to come to appointments, and I'm not sure if what is going on. I know I just need to talk to him, but I am so emotional right now anyway, I just can't do it with out bawling! The baby is due the end of Aug/first of Sept. I don't know what's going to happen when it gets here.

I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to and see if anyone else has been or is in the same type of situation! Thanks for letting me vent!

Jen

Jen, I am sorry about your situation, it must be stressful. I'm not single although I am pregnant. I was just lurking and you really seem like you need someone to talk to. I think everyone has been with someone who isn't supportive in areas but this is a really big area. You are due in about a month and he doesn't want to deal with it? I am not trying to be judgemental, this is strictly a question, but why are you with him? I am just trying to figure out your relationship and how it works when you are very pregnant. Do you mind me asking how old you are? Do you have family that is being supportive of you? What do they think about your situation? If you need someone to talk to I am more than willing to listen! Jen

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Sorry to hear about what your going through and you can reach me online whenever you need to talk...get rid of any man that doesn't take a genuine interest in your child! That's a huge RED FLAG! And the fact that you have such a tough time communicating is ANOTHER RED FLAG! You do what is best for you and yours right now. You've got a lil one that needs a happy, stable mom and a happy, stable home.
You'll be fine and we're here if you need us.

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I am kinda in the same situation as you. My guy wanted the kid and was excited for a while until now. He is never home, he pushes me away and yells at me when I tell him that I need him to be around.
My guy is a drummer in an up and coming band. I was also in a band when we met but I gave it up so he could do his thing with the understanding that we were a team. I pretty much support him, I take care of his 2 year old daughter I feed and clean up after his dog who is 16 years old and can't hold her bladder and I put a roof over his headm, food on the table and heat in the house.
Things weren't always this bad, they just got bad the last two months. His band just got signed to a major label, they will be on tour when I have my baby. He has tons of new fans and "friends" and he pushes me out the door after shows and comes home stinking of booze at 5 in the morning. And now I have a sinking feeling that he is cheating on me with another girl. I know I need to talk to him but he gets so angry and storms off for hours (I'm thinking he does that so he can see his girlfriend.).
I might as well be single, I live with a ghost who doesn't want me around anymore. I contacted a lawyer and because I supported him I get half of what he makes for the rest of his life, I just have to sign the papers and change the locks.
I sucks to be alone.
If you ever need to talk my email is
theresahanley@gmail.com

theresah . .. if you're still around and looking at the boards .. . . . GOOD FOR YOU for contacting the lawyer!! sounds like the guy isn't mature enough to handle the responsiblity of the life he's made for himself

know this, you can do all of this on your own, and if you've already been supporting him financially anyway, you know this already!!!

keep us posted on the process and if you need support through it, let me know!!! I'm going to send you a private message now . . .

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I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm married and I feel like i'm not suppose to talk to him about the baby. He already has a son from a previous relationship. He always told me he didn't want anymore more kids but he told me this after we got married which is pretty unfair. I got pregnant because of him. I told him to put on a condomn and he said he didn't want to so here i am preggo. And now he is making me suffer for it because he treats me really bad, Sometimes he doesn't even come home and when he does he has an attitude with me all the time. We hardly speak to each other. But whatever happens i know i'm going to be alright.

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ryslbebe . . is this your first baby???

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So this last weekend I gave him some divorce papers and he bounced back quick! He spent the whole weekend thinking about being "one of those dads that is never around" and he didn't like that. He had a dead beat dad and when I told him the reason I was going to leave him he figured out he was doing the same thing his dad did to his mom and him when he was a kid. So needless to say now he is all involved, and wants to go to all the apts etc.
Sometimes they need a shock to wake them up. He took this whole week off so we could spend time on the room and get the house ready and so we could spend time healing. He is even talking with his manager to see if he can cancel two tour dates so he can be home the week before and after the baby is due.
I am still leary but happy at the same time, I needed hugs and kisses and foot rubs and all that good stuff. Hopefully he has woken up and he won't pull the old stuff again.
T