between putting up with Oceana's Dad's BS or just ignoring him from now on. It's so hard to let go of those feelings I have for him, I mean he IS O's Daddy and will ALWAYS be that, whether he's a part of her life or not. But I'm getting tired of him putting off the vibe that he just doesn't care about her or me at all.
I just hate that feeling of loving him but hating him SO much at the same time. He doesn't even deserve to TALK to me and hear about Oceana, let alone hope to see her, but I can't bring myself to just stop talking to him. , I just don't know what to do. I keep running back to him (even though he's got a new gf) like everything is "ok" but...it's not. HELP!

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sorry about all the drama ladies, this seems to happen every so often with me and him.

I hear ya. I feel the exact same way for my Baby Daddy but we aren't speaking to each other. Trust it isn't any easier either.

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I love my

I'm not single now, but I've been there. It took me probably 3 years before I could *untie* myself to my last ex (pre getting married) though the only child we had between us was a four legged one, there was still that bond, the fact i couldnt forget all the good times we shared, even though all that had been shot to hell, it was hard to not want to see him even if I knew it wasnt going to get physical. I had to hear his voice or drop into his work, *just to see* what was going on with him. I convinced myself I still wanted to be friends.

Just because a man gives his sperm to create a child, doesnt make him a daddy, or even a father. Dont let yourself get hurt over and over by his giving you a cold shoulder and not inquiring how your little one is doing. You've got a beautiful daughter and if he has moved on, let him. It's easier said than done, but you have to start out easy. Begin with not seeing or talking to him for 3 days ... if the phone rings and it's him, fine, do the convo then go a week, then go another week.

maybe you're not quite ready yet ... you say you love him but hate him. BUT, do you even LIKE him? kwim?? You'll get passed this when you're ready. And when it does happen for you, you'll feel like you just grew wings! In the mean time just love that little girl. She's adorable

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I completely understand your dilemma. I am kind of at that same point of just not dealing with him anymore. I really don't know what else to do, because when I am nice to him, he assumes that we are getting back together and that is not the case. He will always just be the type of person that he is, which is not the type for me. He's supposed to be stopping by today so that we can talk. Maybe you and Oceana's father can talk face to face as well and you can tell him exactly how you feel. But from what you have said it's hard for me to imagine him changing. And the fact that he seems to be only concerned at times, and then only with his relationship with you and not his daughter, only solidifies the fact that it's time to just let go. You are great for your daughter alone and you will always be. So keep doing what you need to do and things will be fine.

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Melanie
25 Loving Mommy to Julian Malachi

Thanks for the advice ladies Means a lot to me.

Jamie--I totally know what you meant when you said Just wish I could hate him more than I loved him...there isn't even a like in there, can't bring myself to 'like' him....has to be love or hate but seems to be both..does that make sense??

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