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How to handle?
This is a discussion on How to handle? within the Closely Spaced Pregnancies forums, part of the Age and Experience category; We are just starting to tell our close friends and family that we are expecting. Our two will be about ...
We are just starting to tell our close friends and family that we are expecting. Our two will be about 15 months apart. The first response we get is never congratulations or how wonderful but "did you do it on purpose?!?" How do you respond to that?
On a happier note, I am still breastfeeding my daughter. Has anyone done this, and does being pregnant effect your milk supply? I plan to wean baby #1 before #2, but really want to make it to 1year. Thanks
Personally, I'd blink at them, raise an eyebrow, and say with absolute incredulity, "ExCUSE me?!"
...Could go into "Didn't your parents tell you the customary response to happy news?", which could get funny, but eh. Personally, I meet the lack of common courtesy with as much sarcasm and my own mix of rudeness as possible.
By the way, have fun raising those two! Hopefully they're not like me and my sister, we fought like cats and dogs growing up, although we were about 26 months apart.
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Reya
Loving and devoted life partner to Martin
Adoring, smitten momma to Dante, born February 5th 2008
you could always ignore the comment and say something about how excited that you are about having another baby. My first two are 20 months apart and between #'s 2 & 3 it will be barely 12 months. I just ignore the rude comments like "did you plan to have another one?" with something like "of course! we always wanted 3 kids!" or "did you plan on having them so close together?" with something like "when kids are closely spaced in age then they have more in common with each other" not going to give into the connotation that this child was un-planned or came earlier than we wanted, which is what they want to know. Because ppl are just rude that way.
Hi my boys are 13 months apart and I had to deal with those comments all the time. I just ignored them and talked about how excited we were. I have really loved having them so close. As far as nursing, I weaned my first soon after I found out I was pg with #2. I had horrible morning sickness and my milk supply went down. I know plenty of mamas who continued to nurse with no problems though, so I would just do what ever makes you and your baby happy! Congratz on your pg!
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Leigh Ann
DH- Eric
Early m/c 11/04
DS #1- Trey Born August 29, 2005
DS #2- Asher Born September 26, 2006
My girls are 15 months apart and we get asked all of the time if it was planned. I don't even respond, truthfully, NO, it was not planned but, people don't need to know that. I love my age gap. We are now trying for baby #3 and I would really like to do 2 back to back again. I love my children close in age and you will too! Good luck!
my older two are 16m apart its a really great gap.
I am expecting number three (on accident) and I get people that assume we are trying for a girl (we aren't) and that we keep having them so close together because I can't stand not having a girl. I don't understand people sometimes.
I just tell people that we wanted naturally spaced children. With our first two that is what we wanted (they are 20 months apart). This new baby is a bit of a surprise, but still fits into the naturally spaced spectrum (#2 and #3 will be 22 months apart).
If the question bugs you, ignore the fact that it was asked and change the subject.
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Dione ~ Momma to my kiddos
Wayne (12/11/2004)
Olivia aka Olla (10/07/2006)
Henry (14/04/2008)
My girls are 22 months apart and just one year apart in school and, while we did not plan it that way, it has been the biggest blessing for our family and especially the girls. They are the best of friends. I've never seen two closer sisters and it's wonderful just to see them play together and enjoy each other's company. I like to think about how much they'll mean to each other when they are grown.
I will tell you, the hardest part is the first few weeks, just learning how to juggle. But after that, it really gets to where it's just normal, everyday life.
Our last 2 are 18 months apart, and we got that too. Ours weren't planned that way, but we did want at least 3, so I just said that the third came a little sooner than we thought he might. I too love having them closely spaced after initially fearing it. I also love our bigger gap. There are pros and cons to all spacings. That said, I think we'll try for a closer spacing again. My milk supply dried up completely both times around 4 months. Everyone is different, though.
Beansie's EDD: May 12 (arrived May 10)
Lucky Clover's EDD: July 2 (arrived July 3)
Little Boo's EDD: January 25 (arrived January 31)
Heartrate @ 8w3d 174
My boys are 13 months apart and I got the question "was it planned?" "are you happy?" Ours was planned to be that close so it really suprised alot of people. I love having my kids close it has its hard times but I know it will be so worth it when they get a bit older. Ds loves his lil brother. Dh freaked me out the other day saying he thought I was pregnant again, if I am it wouldnt be planned this time, but I would take it as a blessing.
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Kira -20
Joe (DH)-22
Tristan (DS)- Born July 25th, 2006
Matthew (DS)- Born August 28th, 2007
First, I have to say Congrats! Believe me, I know the feeling. My son was between 6-7 months when I conceived my second, which was completely unplanned, and we were/are still stressing about it, and the comments only make matters worse. I even switched OB's because the nurses and patients were very disrespectful with their comments. I got some like "Wow, you don't wait." I even had a doctor at the clinic that referred me to that OB say "I assume you want an abortion" My best advice, and the only way that worked for me, was to say something like "Unless this effects your body zip it" Make sure you have some friends who are happy for you though, because your going to need them when the comments get to you. My second is due in 4 weeks, and I'm not looking forward to the comments I will be getting when I go out with both the boys. Stay strong and remember, that its none of their business when or why you got preggo again, and it is okay to act like a snob... after all, you can blame it on the hormones
My first two are 14 mos apart. I got that reaction, but never had the guts to respond w/ something witty. My friend's kids are close together too. I asked how she responded to questions like that (she got them too- it must be the norm.) She started saying things like, "NO. It was an ACCIDENT." She said that would shut people up quickly and make them uncomfortable for asking.
I would say 'Yes, we planned to have sex that night.' and just stare at them blankly.
Now THAT'S Funny....We have been getting these questions too - along with, "are you done now?" Which I find equally rude because the answer they are looking for is, obviously, yes and we aren't sure we are done....
Melissa
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Melissa, Age 37
Married to Travis, Age 41, for 14 years
Mommy to DS, Skyler, Age 13, Autistic/Dyspraxic
DD Summer, age 13 months - born 5/3/07
Angel Babies, 12/92, 4/96, 1/02, 8/02
Due October 13, 2008 - C-Section Scheduled 10/9 with a BOY - Scotland Angus!
How to handle?
Hopefully they're not like me and my sister, we fought like cats and dogs growing up, although we were about 26 months apart.
Watching Henry Grow! 
