Hi, I am new here and I am about to have my second child....just shy of thriteen months of my first.
I'm not nervous about the birth (I will be having a c-section because I had to have one with my son) I am nervous about my son. It has been just us all this time and we have such a good bond I just wonder how is going to take it, epescially because he is so young that I can't really explain what is going on.
We have never been apart for more than an hour and that is usually with Daddy, now when my little girl is born I'll be in the hospital for three days. Although we intend for his dad to spend the night with him, he will be spending the day with his aunt or grandma and not to mention he is use to me doing everything. Then I worry how I am going to handle it, I already feel guilty that I won't be able to spend time with him like I usually do and then I feel guilty because I feel guilty, like it's taking away something from my daughter...
So, I don't know if it's the whole pregnancy hormones kicking in here or if I am justly worried....any advice on this transition would be ever so helpful

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Shery

My boys are 13 months 3 days apart. My husband was in Iraq when the baby was born so my son was used to having me around ALL the time. I would leave him with my parents or the IL's for a few hours here and there, but never over night after his dad left for Iraq. Throughout the whole pregnancy I had him involved, he kissed my belly, told his brother he loved him, goodnight ect. and it made the transition to having a new baby easier for him. He spent the days at the hospital with me and nights with my dad or my mom. I had a csection as well and the hardest part for me was not picking him up, but he quickly learned to go to his nana for help and when my husband came home 1 1/2 weeks after the baby was born Tristan took right back up to him and everything went smoothly.

I was very nervous just like you, but know that things will work theirself out. Its not always easy, but its alot easier then most people think. I'm ready for another one right now and my youngest is only 6 months, but i'm making myself wait 4 years.

Goodluck!!

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Thank you so much, I hope things go smoothly

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Shery

It's so hard not to worry but things will be fine. My first two were 12 months and 6 days apart. I was so scared aobut my first not handling it well but he was a champ. He did have a little bit of a rough time being away from mommy when I was in the hopsital (especially because I was there for 5 days due to my daughter having complications). My parents brought him in every day to see me which helped a lot. Also, he did great once his little sister came home. Just make sure to involve your son in everything that you are doing with the baby. That way he will still feel like he is getting loads of attention even when you are doing things with your daughter. Have him help hold the bottle, help change diapers and clothes, and read stories to his little sister. A good thing to remember is that newborns sleep a lot so you will still have a lot of time in the beginning to spend one on one with your little guy.

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I'm feeling the same way you are - my daughter has been really clingy the past few weeks and on Saturday we babysat all day for my brother's kids - age 6 and 4 months. She was really UPSET every time I held the other baby - pushing him out of my arms, etc. We've told her we are getting a baby brother for her and had her pat my belly, but she is really uninterested - not sure how much she understands.

I will be having another c-section as well - I was able to leave the hospital on the 2nd day with her (really hate hospitals) but ended back in for a week because I contracted MRSA through the catheter and required IV antibiotics. I am hoping that everything goes smoothly this time and I can get out of the hospital as soon as possible. She has never been away from us (not even for an hour - I am a SAHM, and my husband is on disability) so that is a concern as well. She will not be able to be in the operating room (obviously), but we are lucky to be in a small town hospital and not many babies are born so we get a private room (no nursery in this hospital). There is a pull-out bed for Daddy, and since Summer sleeps with us most of the time (spends part of each night in the crib, but usually ends up with us) she should adjust to that for 2 nights. So, really the worst of it will be during the actual c-section itself which only takes about 45 minutes. I think Nana can wheel her around in her stroller for that time and she will be fine. We will get her a couple of new toys for that day to distract her as well.

I know how you feel - I'm a little nervous and worried as well.

Melissa

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Melissa, Age 37
Married to Travis, Age 41, for 14 years
Mommy to DS, Skyler, Age 13, Autistic/Dyspraxic
DD Summer, age 13 months - born 5/3/07
Angel Babies, 12/92, 4/96, 1/02, 8/02
Due October 13, 2008 - C-Section Scheduled 10/9 with a BOY - Scotland Angus!



Skyler, 13, and Summer, 1 year