Bummed...Need a Shoulder(s) to Cry On (LONG)

futuremommy · #1 (**permalink**) 08-25-2005, 08:14 PM

Hi Ladies,

I know there's not many of us around here anymore...but I am just seriously bummed and figured this is a safe place to vent/cry (dh is tired of hearing it). We just built our dream house with the plan of me opening a childcare/preschool. I have been advertising for over 2 months - door-to-door, newspapers, bulletin boards, etc. I only have 2 part-timers (which I'm not happy with...). Our house is huge - too much for me most days. I am really having my doubts about this daycare thing. I have all the credentials...beautiful room...activities for children...small ratio... but we're in the country and it's a drive for a lot of people. Don't know why I figured this would work. Anyways, dh expects me to go back to work if this doesn't work...and I'm just dying over the thought of it. I enjoyed what I did (technical writer...meetings...deadlines...) but now that I've been home with Grace for a few weeks and been able to see her more and get things done around the house, the thought of sending her back off to daycare kills me (ironic, huh??). Anyways, I'm getting baby fever (quickly hit me hard) and there is no way we could afford to have two in daycare and afford this house (and it's ridiculous utilities and taxes). But, we could afford to move back to the town we lived in, into a more "reasonable" sized house and allow me to stay home (with a new baby?!?!). I could just keep crying....ugh.... I know how dh feels though. We had lived in our little house until October and we've been with family until we just moved into this house and he says we move all the time (like we could help having to wait to get it built)... I should be happy - family, dream house, new business. I think I'm just finding I would rather be spending my days with my own child and a new baby, back in our little town in our little house. Is that selfish? Awful? I always learn things after the fact.

So sorry to complain here....just feeling...well...not sure what I'm feeling.

I need "be strong" vibes. Sick of hearing opinions of people around us.

Thanks for lending an ear...

~Amanda
Mommy to Grace, 18 months

TerriH · #2 (**permalink**) 08-26-2005, 10:14 AM

Bighug to you Amanda! Don't get too discouraged at this point...sometimes it takes quite a while to kick off a new business and build your clientele. I work for a CPA firm and see businesses struggle for years until they build their reputation and gain more clients. Unfortunately, some people start new businesses without even knowing what is involved (tax consequences~ie: payroll, capital requirements, bookkeeping, etc.) and just get too overwhelmed. But I think that you have a great service to offer (my two are in a home based daycare and I love it!) and as long as you price yourself competitively and advertise as much as reasonable, I wouldn't think that you would have a problem getting clients. Good luck!!!!

Terri

danaro · #3 (**permalink**) 08-27-2005, 11:18 AM

BIG HUGS Amanda. I can definitely relate a bit, though I'm not in the exact same situation. dh and I also built a ridiculously large house whose taxes, utility and upkeep are unreal. As a result dh works constantly (It's 2pm on saturday right now and he's working). There's a part of me that wants to downsize so that dh can be around and another part that feels like if we can hold out for a year or so things will definitely improve because dh will open his own firm (right now he has his own firm (which is very successful) and works full-time for someone else). He is still afraid to ditch the day job but feels the same way as me.

Please feel free to vent away. Have you spoken to your dh about it? Even though he has mentioned your going back to work, maybe he'd PREFER that you stay home and would be willing to downsize.

Let us know what happens.

deb4321 · #4 (**permalink**) 08-29-2005, 05:12 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that you're upset.

My sister and I have been working on a home based internet business for the last year, and it has taken a lot of work and time to build up clients. Don't give up. I know it can be stressful worrying about finances in the mean time though. Good luck.

futuremommy · #5 (**permalink**) 08-30-2005, 06:33 AM

Thanks for listening... Dh and I have talked about it, ALOT (probably too much). Something just doesn't feel right about it...maybe it's that we're in the middle of nowhere, kind of, which I thought might be a bonus because a lot of people commute this way.... Who knows though. My cousin's wife says I should just move back to the town we were in...that I'd be turning them away. People know me there. I worked in the church nursery, bible school, student taught there. I'm seriously thinking of going back to work for the mean time. Might give my old boss a call (he said he better be the first I call "if" daycare doesn't work). My two part-timers were a no-show today. Not suprised. She called Friday and she had noticed a rash on both of their mouths. No clue what it could have been from...I even suspected the baby wipes they clean with after lunch. Maybe she was upset because I wouldn't let her 18-month old carry a bottle around all day. I'm going to call her here in a minute but I am guessing she was upset and will terminate (she's already left 2 other family daycares...should have known better). Anyway, my parents want me to put signs out - one last ad campaign - they offered to have them made me for me with my logo (I have the sweetest parents). I know businesses take time to start-up...

Dana, you have it right on about the big house, taxes, utilities...were you the one that totally remodeled your house (use to share pictures). I love the house, we're just going to wait until early next year to figure out if we're going to keep it (only paying interest only right now).

Well, thanks for the support. I'm feeling better. The crying doesn't happen too often. It's a good thing I don't get easily depressed. I believe things happen for a reason and it's just all a part of God's plan. We are learning something from everything that happens.

Anyways, better get downstairs and call this family that is a no-show. Thanks for letting me gripe.

~Amanda
Mommy to Grace, 2/11/04

diaana · #6 (**permalink**) 08-30-2005, 09:13 AM

Sorry to hear things aren't going well. Is the town you were in relatively close to where you are now? Maybe you could advertise there if it is, since you are well known. I have a start up biz too, and it's kind of been on hold. So I know it's hard. Hang in there. I hope it all works out.