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07-08-2008, 10:55 AM
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SKMagnificent
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: The Natural State
Posts: 1,339
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DH & Delivery..
Since this board is slow today, I thought it would be neat to see how many DH's/SO's plan on watching/not watching the birth. My DH is a WONDERFUL support person during the delivery. He is at my beck and call and rarely gets on my bad side. But he refuses to watch the delivery. When it comes time to push, he stays at the head of the bed and is my coach, helping me count, breathe, etc... but he will not look to see what's going on. During my 2nd delivery, I thought about putting a mirror up but would really hate to get grossed out and have that image burned in our minds. I'm still considering it this time but I will probably end up backing down again. He also will NOT cut the umbilical cord which I always want him to.. I wonder if the DR. would let me? Now there's a thought!
So who else has a DH that's squimish or one that stays by your feet?
__________________
Kayla {25} & DH {30}
Proud Parents to:
A. Dawn {5}
M. Lane {2}
Expecting # 3 ~ 1/31/2009 
First DR Appointment: July 10, 2008 - HB 173
Second Appointment: August 7, 2008 - HB 164
Big Ultrasound: September 9, 2008
New Goal: 20 Weeks! 
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07-08-2008, 11:02 AM
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SKXtreme
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,619
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Re: DH & Delivery..
DH was GREAT when DD was born. It all happened so fast that he kind of got thrown into it. The nurses were running in and out and looking for the doc, and they told him to hold one of my legs and help me breathe and count. He had no choice but to see it all. It wasn't his plan to be so close to the action, but looking back I know he's glad he got to experience the first hand, in all its glory! Although I still laugh about his comment of the room looking like a "crime scene" after the birth! 
They asked me if I wanted them to put up a mirror and I said no... it was happening so fast and my eyes closed for pushing anyways...
__________________
Laura
DH Tim
Evangeline Dora 5/31/07
blessed baby #2 EDD 1/9/09
Will Evangeline get a baby brother or sister?
Enter your guess:
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07-08-2008, 11:06 AM
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Host
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: OU country
Posts: 1,481
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Re: DH & Delivery..
I am a c/s mama so he has to stay by my head but when we were trying to deliver dd vag i did notice dh was by my side but all hell broke loose and we were in an emergency c/s before i will ever know. he did come in as they started cutting and he handled that ok, he is a great labor coach. he keeps me distracted and keeps everything light which is exactly what i need
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07-08-2008, 11:27 AM
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SKFanatic
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 871
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Re: DH & Delivery..
Dh was wonderful when I was induced. He did not leave my side and when the back labor was so bad I couldn't stand it (and they wouldn't give me anything for pain), he climbed up in the labor bed with me & just kneaded my lower back with his knuckles, wiped my tears away, tried to make me smile. I really cannot say enough about how incredible he was through that. Of course, I did end up with a c/s, and the hospital where I delivered does not let dads watch, but he was seated by my head the entire time. Then once Jack was out, they let him start filming.
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~Julie~
Me 33, Dh Jimmy 41, married 4 years 
Ds Jack 2, Born November 19, 2005 
Baby Bean Due January 5, 2009
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07-08-2008, 11:56 AM
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Host
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 3,840
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Re: DH & Delivery..
John is a stay at the head end type of man. With our last home birth the midwife encouraged him to take a peak as the head was crowning and he was scarred for life
I need him to be there but I don't really care whether or not he stares at the gory bits. Whatever is right for him.
__________________
Claire & John PARENTS TO ALICE - 17 YEARS * JAKE - 8 YEARS * SCARLETT 4 YEARS AND 'AMELIE CLAIRE' NOW TWO YEARS OLD!!!
GRANDPARENTS TO TYLER JACOB - FOUR MONTHS OLD
iPregnant
Due with baby #5 on January 27th
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07-08-2008, 12:23 PM
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SKGuru
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The Lone Star State
Posts: 642
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Re: DH & Delivery..
Mine has always been up front coaching me. He has had a peak but that was it. I want him to be next to me so I can squeeze his hand and yell at him.  He had no problem cutting the cord.
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07-08-2008, 12:27 PM
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SKEmpress
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,201
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Re: DH & Delivery..
Lurking...
My dh totally rocks at the birth support. He was awesome for my 2 unmedicated labors. The CNM offered to let him catch baby #2- how cool is that? He didn't wind up doing it though because he got too distracted in everything else.
For baby #1 we had a doula and took lots of classes/ read lots. For #2 he read "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin and I *totally* recommend that book for any expecting parents. It is more geared to parents planning to go unmedicated however there is solid information in there for everyone. Don't skip it because you are planning to have pain meds, ok? I got my copy from the library.
Amazon.com: The Birth Partner, Third Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions (Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, &): Penny Simkin: Books
I read the older version of the book so I don't know how the newer one is. The author is really good so I imagine this book is good too.
Beth
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ds #1 6/02 and ds #2 12/07
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07-08-2008, 01:18 PM
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SKAddict
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 659
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Re: DH & Delivery..
My DH is a great support and he's not squimish about it at all. The part that bothered him the most was watching me get the epidural. With my 4th my mom and sister were in there too and my sis and DH took turns filming it. It was neat to watch afterwards. It was kinda funny cause I was laughing while I was pushing cause my mom and sister were coaxing the baby while I was pushing him out saying "come on baby" and it seemed so funny to me.
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~Raven~
Happily expecting our 6th!
TEAM PINKWITH 5 OLDER BROTHERS!
DUE JANUARY 2nd 2009
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07-08-2008, 01:27 PM
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SKLoyal
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,154
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Re: DH & Delivery..
My DH wants to be there, but I can't get a serious answer from him exactly how involved he wants to be. He said he was listening to his sports talk radio and the dude on there was telling all the guys out there to "STAY NORTH" in the delivery room. Stay north of the equator! LOL So now he's all nervous.
I bet he will take some peeks, but I don't think he's all about watching the show. He'll definitely be there to help me count, but the man has no rythm so I will be all jacked up.
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07-08-2008, 01:52 PM
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SKWowza!
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Denver Burbs
Posts: 9,180
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Re: DH & Delivery..
Ken has bee nin both my C/S and watched as much as he could. Although finding your wife's happy face at one end and her intestines on the other could be a bit much. Byt he's a trooper and loves the whole experience!
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Cinnamon
Mommy to Garett & Nicky
5 year old twins and Jacob 19 months
Expecting Baby Trimmer "Snugglebug" January 2, 2009 by c-section
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07-08-2008, 02:22 PM
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SKXtreme
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,619
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Re: DH & Delivery..
I was talking to DH the other day about this and how I've never seen anything be born (on TV, but that doesn't count!). Not a puppy, a kitten, a cow, nothing! I feel a bit left out!
He is typically the "don't talk about yucky stuff" type... even gets grossed out when I mention shaving my legs... but I think was so enthralled by the birth of HIS baby that he like being able to watch.
__________________
Laura
DH Tim
Evangeline Dora 5/31/07
blessed baby #2 EDD 1/9/09
Will Evangeline get a baby brother or sister?
Enter your guess:
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07-08-2008, 02:31 PM
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Host
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,399
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Re: DH & Delivery..
Nah - my DH isn't squeamish . . . but I'm not sure if he should actually watch from that end. I've heard that seeing that image can forever change the way a man looks at you there . . . so we shall see. I know DH can't wait to cut the cord!
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07-08-2008, 02:34 PM
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SKDevotee
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Little Rock area, Arkansas
Posts: 411
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Re: DH & Delivery..
My husband...well, he was really laid-back. I asked him why after the labor was over with, and he said "Because you were so calm. It looked like you weren't in any pain at all, so I had no reason to worry." (Well, that's good acting on my behalf because it HURT.)
While I didn't have a mirror, he was all about seeing it with his own two eyes. And of course, describing in great detail to a room full of people afterward how much I stretched out to compensate for my son's head. Gee, thanks babe.
He wasn't grossed out. I would've been, and it was MY body!
He isn't one of those doting husbands ever, so he's not like, rubbing my back or asking if I need anything. He doesn't wipe my face with the wet cloth. He doesn't do much except sit and wait. He's the "if you need something, you'll ask for it" type. And I'm the "I won't ask for help unless I'm dying" type. Yeah. We make a great team. LOL
I really don't mind if he looks or not. Just as long as he doesn't bark at me to push. I hate that.
__________________
It's a boy!
Sue--wife to Bene,
Mom to Jessie (8) and Benji (3)
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07-08-2008, 03:35 PM
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SKTalker
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ohio (near Cincinnati)
Posts: 93
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Re: DH & Delivery..
my DH is Wonderful!!! With my first 2 daughters he actually "delivered them" he sat at the bottom, and his hands were first on the baby then the m/w. he absolutly loved it! with my son the hospital overdosed me on epidural meds so DS heartbeat plumited and things got a little crazy so he didn't get to be that involved and he was so upset about that. He plans on being there to catch this baby as well!
__________________
April (31)~~~~Due January 14th 2009
Married to my wonderful husband Dale (32) who I've loved since I was 14 since Sept. 26, 1998
**High School Sweethearts**
Mommy to
Destiny Shayde Nikole 12 My Tomboy
Kearstyn Breanna Skye 9 My Princess
Gabriel Alexander Zane 6 My Demon (lol) a cute one!
It's a BOY! Kyan Christopher Dale Due Jan.14th 09
http://
http://
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07-08-2008, 03:35 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Round Rock,Tx
Posts: 85
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Re: DH & Delivery..
This is my husbands 1st child so i have no idea how he will handle it but he will be there and watching he hopes to cut the cord so we will just see
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07-08-2008, 03:50 PM
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SKVIP
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ellijay Ga
Posts: 348
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Re: DH & Delivery..
DH was just 18 when our ds was born and I figured he would not even want to know what was going on down there but he was great. He stayed by my side and feed me ice and then held my head up and counted for me when I was pushing and feed me more ice in between contractions. Then as the head was crowing the nurse grabbed his arm and pulled him down to my feet and made him look and my mom said when she did that he couldn't hold my head up and count for looking. My mom paced the floor behind my midwife my sister held my left leg and DH held my head and counted and his mother stayed in the corner where she couldn't see anything. My sister later told my dad that night " You know who ever said birth was a beautiful experience wasn't standing at there sister's left leg" LOL I still laugh when I think of that and she was 22 years old when I had ds but it was the first time she had ever seen anything like that. I would love to be able to watch something like that. DH did cut the cord but said he didn't see what the big deal was with him cutting it but he did it anyway he said it was tougher to cut than what he thought.
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07-08-2008, 04:40 PM
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Host
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The dairy state
Posts: 2,296
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Re: DH & Delivery..
With DD DH had planned on getting to help deliver and cut the cord. Our OB will help the dad's deliver baby if things go well and DH was all for it but then with the c/s he wasn't even allowed to watch or cut the cord and was way bummed! We are contimplating having him cut the cord this time since they can get him scrubbed in before my c/s this time but it has to be okayed yet with my surgeon and I won't see him until 25 weeks. My OB already okayed as long as baby and I are doing well through surgury!
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co-host of:
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07-08-2008, 07:11 PM
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SKFanatic
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 898
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Re: DH & Delivery..
DH was great. BAsically he stayed at the head, he held my leg up when I was pushing. I know he sneaked a couple of peaks, but was right on top of cutting the cord. I expect the same again.
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07-08-2008, 07:18 PM
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SKStar
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 200
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Re: DH & Delivery..
I think DBF will probably be "north" most of the time, and he's already said he doesn't want to cut the cord. I don't really know an honest answer yet, though, cause we haven't really talked about it.
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07-08-2008, 07:32 PM
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SKVIP
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 301
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Re: DH & Delivery..
My DH was absolutely fabulous during DS's delivery! He helped me with everything and was a wonderful support. He did have a look down there while I was pushing and was thrilled to see the baby's head! I will never forget how his voice sounded at that moment! Priceless!
I ended up with an emergency C-section and he was great with that as well! He held my hand the whole time and let me know what was going on. He even watched them open me up and pull baby out!
His comment afterwards was "Now I can honestly say, I love your guts!"
I'm sure this time around, he will be with me and be willing to do whatever is necessary and will watch all the gory bits etc!
sheri
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