Yep, you know the one, it starts all those mommy wars of "I'm a better mom than you" or "OMG how can you do it that way" moments. Well, I doubt it will start that here and I think it would be interested to see the diversity and similarities on our board. So, without further ado. . .

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So what's your style? What's your plan? What's your experience?

• I prefer to breastfeed. But my children have both had to have forumla.
• I prefer natural, unmediated births. But both my children were born via c-section.
• We are anti-circumcision. But my husband's first son (my step-son) was circumcised at birth.
• I delay some vaccinations. However, my first had all his vax right on schedule.
• We develop a baby-led routine that flexes with the child. No rigid schedules here.
• We believe in gentle discipline but I have smacked a leg (at 2-3 years of age) to grab attention if needed.
• We used disposible diapers with our first two but will be using cloth with this baby.
• We use both the baby sling and stroller when needed.
• We prefer to have the baby in our room the first few months in a co-sleeper attached to the bed, but we have brought baby in bed with us when the moment required it.
• I hold my babies whenever they want held as a newborn. We don't believe a baby can be spoiled.
• We use CIO during later months (close to a year) if a gradual approach to sleep no longer works.

Before I had my children, this list would not have had the flex it has in it today. What I have learned is what works for one child may not always work for another.

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Elizabeth (30)
DH Nicholas (33)

New Baby Boy Due 9/18/08
DD Emily Margaret 5/27/06
DS Matthew Taylor 7/27/01
DSS Lucas Haze 2/22/95

This is a very interesting topic..

• I prefer non-medicated births, but I chickened out and did the epi. I will try natural again this time. I was induced with DD and could not catch my breath to do lamaze toward the end. BUT, if I can't handle the pain, I'll get the epi again. Theres no medal at the end, so I don't feel like less of a mother/person for needing pain meds. Some ppl have a high tolerance.
• I think breast is best, but I don't judge or berate someone for choosing otherwise
• We do infant led scheduling (with DD). Not sure what we will do with this baby. Maya was so predictable, we didn't even have to stress about schedules. We may just put this one on the same schedule we had with Maya and try to get one nap at the same time so I can have a few hours to exercise and relax.
• We believe pacifiers are a-ok, but before 3 mos we try breast first
• We do not agree with spanking, but I can't say I will never spank. We will try "time-out" and communication first
• We have done CIO, and it works sometimes and sometimes not. We do 5 min intervals, though. No longer than 5 min. Especially now that Maya is more mobile, sometimes she cries because she has her arm stuck or something. We have to check on her
• I believe that you cannot spoil a small infant, but around 3 mos or so they become accustomed to certian things and I had to take a stand. I had to work, for instance, so I was not going to hold DD the whole night if she couldn't sleep. She had to learn to self-sooth. If she is sick or teething, I hold her more, and I rock her to sleep sometimes when she is overtired, but otherwise, she has to learn to relax by herself. She does that pretty well, though.

Can't think of anything else. I am more laid back than some ppl. I have more of an old school way of looking at things. What worked for my grandma and mom works for me, in a lot of instances. I am probably more strict than my mom, though.

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I really love the idea of an epidural, but my best friend had a spinal headache with hers (rare I know) so bad she couldn't sit up for days, so I am too much of a wuss to get one Thank goodness both my kids were good to me and came quickly. So I'll be attempting my 3rd all natural birth.

I *wish* either of my kids would have taken a paci, I tried so hard to get them to take it, but they prefer me - the human pacifier.

Alot of my family thinks I am insane or gross because I nurse so long - I hide it from most of them after about a year - which as I type that out seems ridiculous - thank goodness DH is SOOOOO supportive of it though.

I co-sleep from birth, I get lots of good sleep this way and can function the next, however I still have a 5 and 3 yr old in my bed... ( I co-sleep alone in the guest room till 4 or so months - poor dh )

I was a model* (as far as following all those fancy parenting books) parent with my son - he took 3 hr naps, he was clean at all times even after going to the park, he didn't have solids till 6 months, he didn't have sugar AT ALL till his first bday cake, I played peek-a-boo for HOURS with him and read to him from the time he was a newborn etc...see what I mean Then with Annie she's lucky if she's ever one real structured nap let alone one for 3 hrs, she'd lucky to go to bed with a wiped off face, started solids at 4 months, had cool whip soon after , and I hardly had the time to play peek-a boo for 5 minutes...

Bottome line:
You do what you have to do to survive and as long as the baby is happy, mommy is happy and you take basic care of them it really doesn't matter what you do or not! And it doesnt' matter what people THINK you should do either...

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Amen sister! I totally agree. I tried to be the perfect Mommy at first, and it made everyone around me (including DD) miserable. And still every once in a while I berate myself for one thing or another, and its really counterproductive.

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I prefer to breastfeed. Sage had formula because of medical reasons and i'll admit that i never got comfortable bf infront of anyone but dh

I prefer a safe birth, regardless of the pain. I did get an epi and i'm not sure i'm going to get it again. it only worked 100% on one side and 50% on the other. i don't think it helped me push either since i couldn't feel consistently on both sides.

Circumcision is left to dh to decided. luckly we are having another girl so it doesn't really matter.

I thought about delaying them but thought i would wus out on the doc....because of sage's medical issues she got delayed shots anyways. She couldn't have vaccines before surgery or they would be inaffective.

We didn't have a real schedule since she kinda had her own. I did start reinforcing routine when i went back to work and when bedtime got to be a problem.

Sage is really good regarding disapline but i have tapped her hands or butt on occasion.

we use disposible diapers. I have this fantasy that we could use cloth but go to research and get freaked out. besides, going to work is going to be hard enough to keep up with general housework stuff. realistically i don't see it happening.

* We use both the baby sling and stroller when needed.

* we have access to a bassinette and will probably use it through the first 8 weeks. we don't co-sleep cause no one sleeps except the baby if the baby is in bed with us.

* I also don't believe that newborns can be spoiled. when they cry there is something they need.

* We've done the CIO modified when nothing else works. She responded ok, but she was 2 before she was only waking 1x a night.

we did a paci for her 1st 12 months and just limited the exposure out of the house with it.

we flipped dd's carseat at 14 months old, right after she hit 20 lbs. definately helped dh and i drive since our knees were bunched up. this one will end up being on the outside since there is no way to put an infant seat in the center.

dd watches way too much TV, most of the morning till daycare, but doesn't get anymore after she comes home. It's the only way to get anything home and some times its the only way to calm her down when she is flipping out.

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I will breastfeed again. My DD never had formula. I hope to do this same this time. I agree with others, it is a personal choice!!

I would love to have a natural, unmediated birth, but can't and will have another c-section.

Circumcision is a big part of my religion. It is performed 8 days after the baby is born. Again, I think this is a personal/family decision. I do get easily offended by the arguements on the subject. It is OUR choice

I plan to delay just some vaccinations. (which is what I have done with DD) MMR scares me

We have flexible schedules but like to try and have our DD down at the same time each day/night for naps and bedtime. But if we are out....things can bend.

We have not developed a discipline routine yet. Thankfully we don't need one yet. She responds to our firm voices.

We use disposable diapers. I like the idea of cloth, but have not got the time or patience to clean!

We use both the stroller and Bjorn/Ergo when needed.

We prefer to have the baby in our room the first few months and have brought DD in bed with us when needed. But by 6 months she liked her own room and crib.

We think pacis are fine for sleeping and soothing. I let her have it in the car and sometimes in crowded places like super-stores and airports. I just don't want her to have it in ALL the time. But, she LOVES it!

We don't believe a baby can be spoiled too much EVER!

We used CIO (our own version) when the time was right and it worked the first try!! Best hard decision I ever made!!

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zoë asher ~ feb. 14, 2007







Everyday is a because I have a VALENTINE'S DAY BABY