I feel so bad.

Ashleysmom04 · #1 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 12:35 PM

When I was first pregnant I had a feeling I would have a boy. Well one day the name Logan popped into my head as the perfect name. Dh agreed he liked it and all was well. At 20 weeks when it was confirmed we were having a boy we told everyone the name. When I told my brother he said Wow, that was the name he wanted to use if he ever had a boy. We laughed it off and that was that.
Fast forward to now, since I just got off the phone with him. It turns out he has been thinking about it ever since I told him and pretty much thinks I took the name. I swore to him I didn't and if I had known he wanted to use the name I would have never used it. But I wasn't going to change my mind now. I feel terrible and it sounds like a part of him just doesn't believe me. He also said he has had that name in mind for over 10 years. I just don't know what to do to make it better. I just wish he would believe me, but he doesn't.

alicat · #2 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 12:43 PM

Did he ever tell you the name before? If not, how could you have taken it? But maybe a compromise would be to say that you guys could both use the name? It might be kind of fun for cousins to have the same name, and then no one would have to lose out on their favorite name. Or who knows, either one of you could come up with a name you like even better. Good luck no matter how it works out - I know names can be tricky!

bncbaby03 · #3 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 12:48 PM

Families are so funny! Is his wife expecting? I completely agree with what Ali said. And I don't see anythign wrong with cousins having the same name. It happens a lot in families. I think I mentioned on my DH's side of the family that EVERY boy cousin ahs the same middle name after their grandfatehr, rafael. And it makes no difference. You didnt' steal it, try and stop beating yourself up about it!

BlueBird · #4 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 12:50 PM

How would you have known that your brother liked the name Logan and wanted to use it before you said something? Is he currently trying to have kids?

Stephmomof2 · #5 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 01:51 PM

I'm sorry you are having this problem. I'm having pretty much the same issue with my brother so I feel your pain. Hopefully he will believe you.

erica0910 · #6 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 02:01 PM

Names and family can cause such heartaches sometimes. If you did not know he picked the name, I would not worry about it. I would still use the name. And who knows, he may find another name he likes better between and his childs birth and may not use it at all.

CarlaK · #7 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 02:14 PM

I agree there is nothing wrong with cousins having the same name. Besides, how were you supposed to know he liked the name? And if he's not actively trying to have kids, he may never get the chance to use the name anyways. I wouldn't worry much about it. Quit beating yourself up!

adamsmom03 · #8 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 02:16 PM

I hope it all works out. If he isn't expecting, then he shouldn't let it be such an issue. Just seems like nonsense. I hope it all works out for you guys.

Logan is on my list too, along with Gavin, but we haven't picked yet. Josh wants Charlie though... not so sure about that.
Maybe our board will have 2 Logan's.

Bellywinker · #9 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 03:01 PM

that was the name he wanted to use if he ever had a boy

First of all, he uses the word IF. He may never have a son - and if you change the name there will be no Logan.

It turns out he has been thinking about it ever since I told him and pretty much thinks I took the name. I swore to him I didn't and if I had known he wanted to use the name I would have never used it.

The idea of you "taking" the name is absolutely ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous.

If the name Logan is the one that you and your dh are absolutely in agreement on, then you need to tell your brother to grow up (ok, maybe not THAT, but tell him that this was the decision that you and your dh came up with). If you would prefer to find another name just to avoid any conflicts with your brother, then I can understand that. I just don't want you to resent him because he feels he has "claimed" the name. BTW, is he married? Are they expecting? What is his situation? Ugh ~ family can be SO difficult!

amynbebes · #10 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 04:54 PM

How silly. My youngest's middle name is Xavier and after we decided that my sister mentioned that that name had been on her list of boy names. Umm, sorry, didn't know.
I'm sorry that your brother is making you feel badly about using the name.

Ashleysmom04 · #11 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 05:45 PM

I won't be changing the name out of guilt. Even though I cried 2 times today over this and I don't cry. We told everyone the name and I refuse to try and find another name, then have to explain it to a 4 year old who proudly tells everyone she can about her brother Logan. I know in my heart that I didn't do anything wrong, since I did not know he liked the name. Our mom didn't even know he liked the name.
No, they are not expecting. He and his wife had a beautiful baby girl this past Dec. I am thinking about not bringing it up again and hopefully he won't say anything else. I told him I was sorry, what more can I do.

Bellywinker · #12 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 06:21 PM

Dawn, you are so sweet to even apologize to him.

You have done nothing wrong but pick a lovely name for the son that is currently in utero. While your brother may be upset, please know that hi really is being unreasonable. Once Logan is here, he'll come around. And if he really feels that strongly about the name, well, he can use it too if he ever has a son.

glowkitten · #13 (**permalink**) 03-04-2008, 08:02 PM

You have gotten some good advice.
I'm sorry you have been so upset over this.
Your brother may never even have a son and I'm sure he'll get over this.
I mean it's not your fault you love the name and I'm glad you will still use it.